THE PASSION PROJECT: I don’t have a passion….where can I buy one?

 One of my most FAVORITE questions I get asked when I bring on a new client, and we start our first 10 minutes of getting to know each other to see if we’re a good fit, is “What is your passion?” I usually get the look of deer in headlights.

Have you asked yourself what your passion is? Have you identified it? Do you know what it FEELS like? Do you know how to achieve success FOR that passion? Do you know what INSPIRES and MOTIVATES you to chase after your passion?

This is one of my specialities, only because I am enamoured by our minds. I love learning about how we come to conclusions, questions, growth, self-awareness, all from our minds. We transfer in our minds to our “voice in our head” over 60, 000 thoughts a day! How many of those thoughts are positive vs. negative? Have you considered WHERE your thoughts originate from? What is your mind exposed to, to cause these thoughts?

One of my clients said to me, “I don’t have a passion. Where can I buy one?” As a joke I told her there was no local convenience store that could offer that, as passion isn’t convenient its work.

Here’s an internal project to do:

Duration: 10 Minutes – 30 Minutes

Needs: Favorite Pen & Paper

On your paper create a 3 column grid.

1st column = AGE

2nd column = ACTIVITY

3rd column = EMOTION

Let’s begin!

1.

Column 1= The age when the thought “Who Am I?” first came into your mind?

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you delved into due to this thought (i.e. writing, sports, outdoor, friends, etc)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling during this moment (i.e. lonliness, depressed, happy, excited)

2.

Column 1 = The age when you CARED about WHO you are.

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you were emotionally involved in due to you caring about WHO you are

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling WHILE you were in this moment

3.

Column 1 = The age you DECIDED to ACT on FINDING you.

Column 2 = The ACTION(S) involved to CREATE/MOTIVATE the answer to FINDING you (your likes, dislikes)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

4.

Column 1 – The age you took RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR ACTIONS in finding YOURSELF

Column 2- The ACTION(S) involved to DRIVE your motivation in finding yourself

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

Now…let’s stop here before we go to the final #5….let’s look back on your answers….

You’ll notice a progression from the first age you wrote down, all the way down to the 4th. They should be different. However, results vary based on upbringing, what you were exposed to as far as self actualization is concerned. If you notice column 3 never changes in the question. That is because emotions are ever-changing…and they are ever changing BASED on WHAT we involve ourselves into. See why fear robs us of our happiness? Fear stops us from being involved in new things, when in fact those “new things” push us into our true self.

For example this is mine.

You can see by the 4th point in my life, my lost feelings turned into unhappiness, that unhappiness turned to happiness and then my happiness turned into a myriad of emotions. However, if you notice my emotions changed BASED on what I was exposing myself to. Notice at age 20 I stopped climbing…what was my emotional response from doing only 1 thing?

I think you see my point here…there is no 1 passion…there are multiples…but let’s go onto #5

Draw a line underneath the final column….

5.

Column 1 – The age you CHOSE to PURSUE one of YOUR actions.

Column 2- The ACTION you chose.

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

At this stage, you KNOW who you are, the part of you that acknowledges responsibility and realizes that you are a creator of YOUR destiny. At this stage you are THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE. You know how to dream, you have the courage to pursue your dream, and you are INSPIRED.

This is a WONDERFUL tool to use to gauge your own self awareness and to keep you on track and motivated on your goals.

Remember, it is important for true success to take 1 hour every week to dedicate to yourself. To find your balance and to recharge your energy.

Passion is what is INSIDE your heart. That’s why this project is designed to LOOK inside of you, inside of what your inner thoughts are saying, and to start listening to your true voice, and not the voice of fear who constantly holds us back on a daily basis.

What are 3 things you plan to do this August that will give you MORE exposure to things you may be passionate about?!

GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! 🙂

With Love & Gratitude,

Nevaeh Marie

10 Ways to Happiness

 ” For every day there is sunshine there will be days of rain. It’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.”

This morning on our life coaching mentorship call, we discussed ways to pick ourselves up, and how to help motivate clients in this regard. To be honest, I have made it a testament and a personal goal to continuously fine tune my top 10 ways to happiness. It’s not only worked for myself, but for my clients as well…so I thought I’d share, and of course in no particular order!

1. Practice Compassion

Every one of us is in need of compassion. Sometimes when I have a bad day (yes they happen), something as simple as a hug cures me. That’s my idea of compassion. Other people respond to being listened to, and being UNDERSTOOD & HEARD. You’ll find that this mode of helping someone else, not only takes away from whatever it is you are feeling crappy about, but also helps you feel less alone which feeling crappy has a tendency to make us feel….even more crappy! So get yourself to call someone, text someone, email, and just say…”I’m here for you…I’m not sure if you know that but I am!” The response you’ll get will be more than you could have imagined.

What this does for you: It acts as a way to feel grateful for your current circumstances, allows you to feel not alone and involving yourself in someones life to HELP them, will only give you back exactly what you need…compassion.

2. Find YOUR Passion

Most of the time we’ve grown up with households whose parents have distinguished WHAT we will be passionate for until we are older and figure it’s OUR own desires that lead that. Fortunately, this is a stream that is slowly moving towards self involvement. Find something YOU love to do, and YOUR life will become immensely improved.

What this does for you: Finding YOUR passion will allow you to gain ownership for your life instantly. Half the reason we feel crappy instead of happy is a downward shift in our decisions. If you look at your life you could correlate that your mood could be a result of a recent decision, or not being in line with doing more of what YOU love.

3. Exercise- DAILY!

I’m such a bad example for this, but I have been working vigorously at making this a habit in my life. I actually just started to surround myself with people I can walk with on my lunch break, taking our dog on a walk, going on hikes, etc. I HATE just running on a treadmill, and I do not do well with some boot camp instructor yelling at me to get my ass up. I have found that doing something active for at least 30 minutes a day, helps me feel rejuvenated and HAPPY!

What this does for you: endorphins make you happy. Not to mention, looking good = feeling good.

4. Eat Healthy – DAILY!

I used to eat fast food daily. I don’t know how I didn’t gain about 100 extra pounds, but I constantly felt tired and weighed down. Now, I eat healthy daily and when I don’t I can definitely see a difference in my mood and my appearance. Start searching healthy recipes and begin creating your own creations. Most of my meals are semi-homemade and mostly pastas and soups for dinner, and tuna and yummy hearty sandwiches and salads for lunch.

What this does for you: Energizes you which = happiness

5. Meditate

Okay I may be a mentor and a life coach but I certainly am not a meditative expert. Most of my clients are high stress, worrying over finances and if their company is closing (unfortunately this is the reality of business in todays age). I practice breathing exercises with them as a form of “meditation”. It helps….there are tons of online resources, or you could start by taking just 5 minutes out of your day to sit in your office with (my preference SPA RADIO on Pandora) and zone out. I imagine myself in the wilderness surrounded by lush green trees, the sound of a lake nearby, and birds chirping with the sun shining down on me.

What this does for you: Relaxes your brain so you can begin to feel rational in your decisions and in your emotions.

6. Finance

The F word everyone hates. In all seriousness, as much as I hate looking at my finances (aka medical bills), at the end of pulling teeth it feels better knowing where my funds are at. I use a basic excel spreadsheet, and sometimes writing it out in my journal that I keep in my purse helps me too. As a small tip if you are a shopaholic like I tend to be, take out cash from your account and allow that to be your “allowance” for the week. When I started doing this, I was AMAZED at how much little crap I was spending. Everytime I went to fill up my tank I would buy bubble gum or an iced coffee, at the end of the month my total was $140.00 extra in little shit. Seriously…look closely…the $2-$5 bucks you spend add up.

What this does for you: Financial issues is one of the LEADING causes of stress in America. Why do you think we have so many shows and books on managing finances? However, once you take the time (20 minutes) to dedicate to learning about your financial situation, you’ll feel more confident and less stressed…which equates to more freed moments to happiness.

7. Emotional Balance

Even though this is the field of work I am in, doesn’t mean I still have to remind myself just HOW to be emotionally balanced too. Typically every month I get thrown off my rocker. My boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I’m easily shifted back into asking myself if I am being irrational and “emotional”. Here’s the thing…EVERYONE gets bent out of shape from time to time. It’s called life. However, when we are emotionally imbalanced, we leave more room for all the pain bodies to attack us. Think of ourselves as a cup that constantly needs to be filled with water, and that oil represents the pain and emotional crap we feel. They don’t mesh well..in fact oil will just sit on top of water making you feel bogged down leaving absolutely no room for happiness. Some of us keep filling our cups with oil, and eventually that oil oozes out into other areas of our life affecting anyone who comes in contact with us. It’s IMPORTANT to check yourself.

What this does for you: Allows you to take a moment to self reflect on WHERE you are at. WHY you are feeling the way you do. All 10 steps are designed to interconnect with one another that will help alleviate stress and anxiety to fill your cup with only water.

#8. Simplify your Life

I am a type of person to act before I think. That means at the end of my work week I probably have diverted away from my projects and added new projects because I go where the action is. This is something I am trying to correct. We all have something we are working on. Though this is viewed as something positive to always have things on your plate, when you begin to spread yourself too thin, you create stress.

What this does for you: By subtracting some out of your life means that you’ve established priority. It doesn’t mean you won’t work on it again, it’s all about timing. What is present is most important.

#9. Gratitude

Every month I send out gratitude letters to previous clients, friends, family and acquaintances. When was the last time someone told you how awesome you are, thanked you for something you did or just thanked you for being in their life? We spend more time self involved…than we do involved in others’ lives. Perhaps being a mentor has taught me the importance of a simple question of “how are you?” could lead to an inspiring action. Give thanks…and thanks will be returned back to you.

What this does for you: Fills you up! When you are grateful…the world responds to your gratitude. If your life doesn’t light up by this…then your heart is overly invested in yourself. Remember, balance is key.

#10. Add in Fun

No brainer I know…but here’s the kicker…some of us have way too much fun and that also causes issues with happiness. When you are 70% fun and 30% productive, you begin to feel when you least expect it (most of the time it’s when you are alone), the inadequacy and instability. If you don’t feel this, you are in a delusional state and should contemplate where you’re real passions lie. I’m talking about those of you in our society that tend to party as if it’s your f%^&*ng job. Sorry…but you aren’t an MTV tycoon or a celebrity.

I have a list of things I write out every three months of things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make ME happy. I have a 1. Something outdoors, 2. Something random and 3. Something I fear. Adding in fun is trying new things…that immediately brings you joy.

What this does for you: This is the best way to grow and affect inspiration inside of you. There are thousands of things to do, I guarantee you haven’t even thought outside the box. My something news lately are: Surfing, a random road trip out to Arizona for literally 1 night, roaming naked under the stars in absolutely BFE and making new friends within groups I rarely would ever consider approaching.

Here’s a challenge…get rid of the oil…and add in more water. Oil and water aren’t meant to mix…Incubus got it right. So admit it, and fix it. Only YOU have the power to cultivate and motivate change.

Feed your mind with positivity, with infectious positive change

Over the weekend I have had some time to think about catch up on all the new changes that are happening in my life. Lately I feel like a damn broken record having said that exact statement where I am starting to not be able to catch up with this constant change.

On Friday I received notification of a few press releases I did recently. A few from Atlanta, and a few from locally here in San Diego. I have been in a way very “ballsy” on getting my name, my passion, and my recognition out there in the business realm. I’ve been in this transitional portion of my career. I have decided to go all in on creating this Refuge Center for teens. It’s a start for change, and in the right direction in my opinion for our broken society.

I have heard of about 7 different stories this year alone on teen drug addiction, and as of lately, teen suicide. We all have our stories, and they are filled with pain and some of us try our damndist to make sure we never think about the traumatic pain again. However, I thought this is it. This is THE TIME to actually pursue this, and it all started with Mr. Moses.

I decided to spill the beans on an interview this morning with a publishing company for my book, “Doctor Me” which is about my teen drug addiction and depression that I suffered from, but overcame through doctoring myself. Not to discredit psychiatrists or counselors, my belief is that the best way to overcome especially with someone so intimate as depression, is through doctoring yourself. I include programs that I designed for myself, and have provided to friends and loved ones who found they worked for themselves too. It’s how my visionary program was born, and how I continue to believe that all of “this” happened to me for a reason….and that is to infect change in our broken society.

If you know me, you know I’m loud about something I am passionate about. You know I’ll be the first to take a stand, I’ll be the first to share my opinion…even if it’s not being asked! Mr. Moses, is the very reason why every single day since the 4th of July I’ve worked through my angst of wanting to stay closed for business, and decided it’s time to get back up and start working again. This time…I re-open for change.

The Refuge Center has been a dream of mine for so long, but so has this book about what I’ve gone through. It feels very “naked” of me to speak so openly about what I went through with drugs, alcohol and how I dealt with depression, but I keep going for the message that Moses gave me. “Speak through your heart, live through your heart, inspire from your heart” he would always say to me. It’s ironic how messages become clearer when someone is gone. It’s as if the message roars.

This morning during my brunch meeting, I came in roaring with a message. “Infect Change!” I yelled to the business owners sitting there handing off business cards like a damn herd of cattle. Somedays, especially on Monday’s I seem to not withstand the blue-collar attitudes and stuffiness involved in these brunches that I feel it’s my duty to AWAKEN them. They all stared at me, quiet…a few who I don’t recognize give me dirty looks, this is what I look for. I like for you to feel uncomfortable, when you are uncomfortable I get to work with the raw you, not the “im in my suit” you. I challenged these owners to look inside themselves and ask where their money is going. Are they donating to a cause, are they infecting change in our society or are they just “living” amongst it?

“I see more causes, more passion from my Facebook friends than I do in a brunch full of business owners.” I said very boldly. I could sense the tension, the squeamishness and perhaps even their suits getting tighter. “I challenge you to fathom spending money on a child in need, a homeless man who needs shelter, a battered wife who needs hope, even an animal who is facing slaughter.” I wish you all could have been there or I should have snapped a photo, I saw nothing but faces of outrage, except no one spoke up. No one shouted back at me. No one challenged me. It was quiet, and a little awkward to be honest, but it’s necessary.

I have been causing a “ruckus” for several years, if it’s not at company functions, it’s at companies and if I believe in something, I’ll speak up, what I don’t get is often times I notice I am the only one speaking up.

What is it about the social media circle that is in more in tune with infecting positive change in this world vs the “real” world?

“How can we as in the social media circle, amplify positive change in our broken society?” My partner Patrick makes a valid point, and in turn I logged into my Facebook and showed him all the change I see on a daily basis. “It’s as if the world is waking up” he says with his jaw almost to the floor.

My point is this…feed YOUR mind right. Feed your mind with positivity, with infectious positive change, with passion to see a difference in our world and you will find that passion becomes action when you least expect it.

This is a start….but as I said it earlier this morning to challenge these business owners I have worked with, I challenge my friends, my family, and my colleagues. What are you doing to infect positive change on our world? What will you do?

It takes 5 minutes to say hello to a stranger and have a small conversation….

It takes 2 minutes to hand a sandwich to a homeless man….

It takes 1 minute to decide you’ll help when you see help needed…

What’s stopping you now?

 “We rise together. We are strength in numbers. Our society may be broken, but those of us who are awake, those of us who are not just a part of the herd, we rise. We rise in positivity and are armoured by courage. We rise and we fight. We fight against the authority and choose to protect and help each other. One day, we will look at our society against the corrupt government and see change and be pleased that our people will finally be treated as people.”

What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?