Be as you are.

“Just love life Nevaeh!”

This was the moment that began a course correction in my life. It was this single conversation that my mentor and I had in his office. It helped that he also was a long time friend & colleague who always struck me as “odd” because he was SO mother freaking happy all the time, eventually that happiness rubbed off on me. I was in this ridiculous (now it seems) bubble of negativity. At the time I was in 2 toxic relationships…I’ll eventually post on the importance of choosing and how to choose carefully the right people in your life, and how to gracefully excuse those who are causing you pain or toxicity. My boyfriend and best friend at the time were my entire world. I had such a problem with deflecting my own issues and my own self growth, that instead of working on myself, I ran in circles and offered help to these two people. This eventually sucked my soul dry.

“You are a free therapist. It’s causing you anguish and its causing you some major stress. You aren’t LIVING, but hell, you’ve gained quite a lot of karma!” He continued to tell me. “So Nevaeh, tell me, when will you start living?”

I remember shaking my head at him, and began laughing. I honestly didn’t know HOW to get out of the situation I volunteered myself in. In a way, I felt in debt to the two of them for reasons I still to this day I’m not sure of what or why for. 

“I’m terrified.” I looked up at him and with an honest sigh, “I don’t know if I can, if I deserve it.”

He looked at me shocked. “You are missing the point. Living life isn’t about deserving, it’s about identifying your calling, and that defines your search on your journey. I bet you can’t even answer what makes you happy because you are overly consumed by their drama you can’t even focus on your own to grow from!” He continued pointing his finger outside his beautiful office window overlooking all of LA, “You my dear, are meant for more. As your friend, as your business colleague, promise me you’ll accept this challenge for yourself.”

I looked up at him in desperation, I was hooked on every word he was saying because it resonated with my soul. It made sense.

“What is it?”

“Promise yourself to define living for YOU. Once you do, then be as you are.”

I left his office with a weight on my shoulder, it was heavy, but nothing like the burdens I’ve been carrying from these two people I loved so much.

I drove to Venice and stayed there alone for the weekend. I actively searched out LIFE. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know HOW to do it, I just promised myself I would be immersed in anything and everything that contained living.

I still remained in the situation I was in for another year, but it was Anthony who actively stayed on me, challenging me. He would text me, “Good morning beautiful friend! Go out and LIVE today! How are you living? What new discovery have you found?” Granted his old age helped me trust him and his wisdom, without these challenging texts I probably wouldn’t have done what I came to finally do.

Last year, I walked away from it all. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I was DRAINED. I lost respect for myself. Through this whole process, I developed a hatred. The hate for wasted time. It made my blood boil, thinking back on the time I spent as a therapist and not for myself. I fully participated in the halt of my own growth.

“I’m just so pissed!” 

He looked at me, shook his head, “You miss the point again. You didn’t waste time, you may have been overly involved in their lives which took away from your own growth, but you HAVE grown so much within the last year. Shall we review? You took several trips on your own for your own self discovery, you began writing, you began creating new ideas for new business ventures, you created a dynamic online portal for learning, you developed an amazing resource for women and their self esteem…you went through what you did for one reason. Perhaps, having a 3rd party look in your life is what you need, Nevaeh, you have now 2 years of experience under your belt to help even more people. You have multiplied your skills. You have developed skills that school would never have been able to teach you. You had the internship of Psychology in a real world setting. Be proud. Be excited! Now, you’re a certified life coach, now you have that power behind you to use and help change people’s perspectives and unlock their full potential in life. Wouldn’t you agree that defines you? The passion to help others. That IS you.

I was floored. So floored, I threw up. Laugh it up! Seriously, I threw up because I was disgusted with myself. I couldn’t see the perspective he saw, and that made me sick. How selfish I thought to myself, about myself. Hello humble pie. It taught me to step back, to look at different angles, because that is where life is defined.

Sometimes it takes another person who you trust, you value and who has years of wisdom because they too have gone through something similar, to pull you out of misery and directly in the sunshine of life.

Once you’re in that sunshine…its up to you to shine. It’s up to you to challenge yourself daily on how to overcome whatever it is you are going through by constantly stepping back after every attempt and re-configuring your approach. Overcoming pain is through positive thought, I don’t care what anyone says….the happiest people you come across in life, are happy and bubbly for the very reason that they can rest in the fact that staying positive is the key to life. 

Life, will ALWAYS be a struggle IF YOU ALLOW IT. Life is meant to be a singular journey. The part of life that gets beautiful, is to be able to share your experiences with one another. In a way, it’s advice for your journey to whatever destination that is.

For myself, I left. I didn’t look back. I still get messages and texts from them even after I expressed my very reasons for ending the relationship and friendship. It’s funny, its only then that truth hits home for people. I, however moved on much quicker than I expected for myself, because I took responsibility for my decisions, for my actions, and for my life. I no longer chose to hold myself back any longer. I walked away without hesitation, and I walked away with my head held high. I answered the question my mentor challenged me just a few years ago. I did the work. I did the searching. I accepted that this will be a lifelong journey, but the definition of MY life was clear as day.

January 2012 hit, and so did the truth of “Be as you are”.

I bought a train ticket, packed my bags for a writing retreat, and ventured to Los Angeles to meet my mentor prior. 

“You look lighter, happier!” He said to me with arms wide open.

“Yes…I feel free.” I remember gleaming from ear to ear my smile.

“And how do you feel?”

I relieved a huge sigh, dropped my bags, exhaled grabbed him in a huge hug and started to cry hysterically, “I feel like me, Anthony. I feel like me.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Some people have asked me especially in my practice, HOW I overcame what I went through. Some who have read my work, have emailed me in their own anguish anxiously searching for answers just as I was. So, here are some quick tips I’m happily offering up:

My golden rule: ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY for optimal growth

Do the work!

Materials: boxing gloves (for negative or defeated thoughts), positive attitude (as your power source) and provide your soul lots of room (set aside your freaking ego, accept the fact that you need to fall fully, in order to know how to pick yourself up).

1. Surround yourself with positive everything.

Each night I searched for a positive quote. Each morning I posted that positive quote on my Facebook. Each morning I emailed myself a love note with that positive quote, and by the end of the week (that Friday) I wrote about HOW I implemented that quote in my life, my trials.

2. Get a slice of humble pie. 

I started seeing a hypnotherapist in Orange County and started seeing a counselor who was a part of Saddleback Church. Both combinations had me exposed to people who were on drugs, overcoming alcohol addiction, who were homeless, who had no hope…and yet, they openly discussed their pains and showed their scars in our nightly circles. I walked away every meeting feeling more alive. For me, it took knowing what was really going on in our world, for me to understand that life is not “easy”, but that the hardest part, was thinking positively.

I took this exposure further and began to volunteer my time at shelters, at senior homes and gave back after each time I gained strength in ME. In a way, they helped heal me, and I them.

3. Find your outlet. (“Be as you are”)

I loved to write, I love music and I love art. So, what did I do? I combined the three. I took several trips to Balboa, LA and the South to experience all of it. I would plug-in my earphones, look at art and then, I’d find a bench and write.

A few months into this process, I started to feel this truth rising up in my gut. Hard to explain, but it’s where the “clear as day moment” happened. I sat across from a painting that reminded me of Oregon in all its green lush trees, beautiful crystal like lake views, and powder blue sky; I said out loud, “this is it.” At the time I didn’t know it would be now called MOTIVATEme. but that painting grew in my mind of thousand kids, teens, adults all resounding in unity…in love. Gaa…my hope for a peaceful nation.

and lastly 4. Love yourself.

This is when people say “Love yourself first and everything will fall into place” but for me personally, I couldn’t accept this UNTIL I applied the work for myself. It wouldn’t have made sense to me, I’m far too rational and analytically that when I tried thinking, “I love myself!” it I felt like I signed up for some hoaky bullshit where Barney would come popping out of every corner. If you can do that awesome, but personally I think doing the work first will allow you NATURALLY to arrive to loving yourself. I came to KNOW myself more through the work. I came to be KIND to myself more through the work. I came to IDENTIFY my weaknesses through the work, and I came to be INSPIRED through the work.

The work had me daily arrive to epiphanies that turned into new paths. Still to this day…I do the work.

What the sh!t?

“We sell fear!”

This was probably the most interesting endings I ever had to a sales day. I thought going to school that juggling modeling, promotional work, and working at a sales job that was rewarding in character (i.e. selling safety device to seniors) would be a great fit for the remainder of my 2012 career.

I was f*&(ing wrong!

What the shit happened to society today? What the shit happened to business today? What happened to feeling safe in an office environment, in a school environment even?

You know when you start a new job or even a project and you’re like super amped about it in the beginning. You’re wearing what I call “rose colored glasses” and little by little as the days go on in the endeavor, the glasses start to vanish. You start to see things differently. Clearly. I am ALL TOO FAMILIAR with this life rotation that I plan for it. It’s why I have always had multiple streams of income in order to weigh out just how retarded our society (speaking business standards) has become.

I went through 2 weeks of extensive training with an AMAZING trainer. She was so patient with a class of 12 really random individuals, and she was very fun to learn from. She reminded me of one of my school teachers in High School, someone who I could connect with and felt empowered by. So, I was naturally excited to graduate from training and finally get on the sales floor and help saving lives one phone call at a time.

The first day, we met the supervisor.

She was a bitch.

If you know me, it takes a hell of a lot for me to say that or call someone that. I literally have no other words to describe such a poor attitude in a woman. What was so sad though, was she is so pretty, and the moment she opened her mouth it was Jersey Shore trash…you know the typical Jersey Shore where she thought her own shit didn’t stink. This was my first what the shit moment.

Not even an hour into sales and talking to some awesome seniors on the phone, she pulls me aside.

“You are too nice.” She says.

That was my second what the shit moment.

The glasses were slowly coming off my face.

There I was sitting in my cubicle (fuck, when did I get in a cubicle again from having my own in home office to now a mother fucking cubicle!), and this instant message pops up on my computer.

The instant message is full of wink faces and small talk. I look to see who it is, and sure enough it’s the creeper supervisor whose been eyeballing my shit.

That was the third what the shit moment.

I scratched the side of my right temple contemplating how or if I should respond. Each second I kept thinking, more wink face emoticons were coming through the instant message, as if they were poking me on the forehead.

Finally I responded with something work related and ended the conversation. He continued to blabber on about how “cool” my name is. What the fuck ever guy.

Every single time I got up to use the restroom…the entire sales floor complete with about 30+ men and about 2 girls, all stared. Occasionally would interject my walking and asked if I needed anything, how my day was, etc. In the beginning I thought, “How nice everyone is!” thanks to those rose stupid colored mother fucking glasses…and then boom…

They decided to fall off.

“Everyone you sell FEAR here! If they aren’t full of fear on the phone, they won’t buy from you! Remember, if they say they are fixed income, those seniors are lying to you!”

Then…my heart dropped. It literally sunk so far deep into my gut I grew physically ill.

I thought of every person I talk to, deal with as if they are my own family, my own friend. Even when I had my own business, I believed  in and still do, on building value through quality work, through quality customer service, through proper rapport building.

I left without saying goodbye, and I didn’t look back.

I got home…dropped my bags at my feet in my room…and then I started crying. I let it out.

I threw up.

All of the words this supervisor bitch was saying and has said to me which I didn’t even fully cover because it would make you sick too, fled through my mind.

I am a very rational person. I take everything that happens as a reason. I thought about one thing specifically she said, “What are you, like mid 20’s, a damn model and you probably never owned a business in your lifetime, at your age I was making like thousands of dollars a month, had two kids, and maybe you just don’t feel accomplished yet for whatever reason….” and went on and on…I started to feel small. I thought…THIS IS WHAT KIDS FEEL IN SCHOOL TODAY.

Sometimes…situations in life like this are what you are faced with…where the reality of life is, High School just never ends.

I did end up reporting this incident…and quickly fled this company.

It put things in perspective for my life….and I hope you take this piece of advice.

Do not chase money.

Do not compromise YOUR HAPPINESS.

Do not at any circumstances allow someone negative to come into your space and fuck it up.

This is YOUR life.

A friend of mine asked me, “There are no perfect jobs out there Nevaeh, why didn’t you just stay and deal?”

My response…”Because I am not a part of the herd.I beat to my own drum. That drumbeat…is living a positive life. I don’t tolerate anything less.”

I admit…fuck…I’m human…money has always been something that came easily to me. However, the lesson learned here is motivation.

My Dad text me, “Hi honey….how are you doing today?”

My Mom emailed me with a title “SMILE” and said something brilliant which made my What the Shit moment, a moment of clarity, she asked,  “Maybe this experience for you was only about more motivation to drive you forward?”

This was the moment I meditated on the fact that I was learning a big life lesson. I was gaining…what my Dad called, “wisdom”. This taught me something about myself…the fire and ignition and passion for activism, for humanitarianism, and for social change was flooding through my veins.

I feel empowered, focused and comfortable with this change that I’ve been talking about doing for the last several months but begrudgingly never wanted to actually do.

Here I am….

I surrender.

“At times…we face the “WHAT THE SHIT” moments to face our inner fears….to face who we are currently to face that we still need to grow and make new changes to become what we desire to be. Be open to growth…and the universe will respond to your every desire. I know…because I’m living it now.”

 

THE PASSION PROJECT: I don’t have a passion….where can I buy one?

 One of my most FAVORITE questions I get asked when I bring on a new client, and we start our first 10 minutes of getting to know each other to see if we’re a good fit, is “What is your passion?” I usually get the look of deer in headlights.

Have you asked yourself what your passion is? Have you identified it? Do you know what it FEELS like? Do you know how to achieve success FOR that passion? Do you know what INSPIRES and MOTIVATES you to chase after your passion?

This is one of my specialities, only because I am enamoured by our minds. I love learning about how we come to conclusions, questions, growth, self-awareness, all from our minds. We transfer in our minds to our “voice in our head” over 60, 000 thoughts a day! How many of those thoughts are positive vs. negative? Have you considered WHERE your thoughts originate from? What is your mind exposed to, to cause these thoughts?

One of my clients said to me, “I don’t have a passion. Where can I buy one?” As a joke I told her there was no local convenience store that could offer that, as passion isn’t convenient its work.

Here’s an internal project to do:

Duration: 10 Minutes – 30 Minutes

Needs: Favorite Pen & Paper

On your paper create a 3 column grid.

1st column = AGE

2nd column = ACTIVITY

3rd column = EMOTION

Let’s begin!

1.

Column 1= The age when the thought “Who Am I?” first came into your mind?

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you delved into due to this thought (i.e. writing, sports, outdoor, friends, etc)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling during this moment (i.e. lonliness, depressed, happy, excited)

2.

Column 1 = The age when you CARED about WHO you are.

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you were emotionally involved in due to you caring about WHO you are

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling WHILE you were in this moment

3.

Column 1 = The age you DECIDED to ACT on FINDING you.

Column 2 = The ACTION(S) involved to CREATE/MOTIVATE the answer to FINDING you (your likes, dislikes)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

4.

Column 1 – The age you took RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR ACTIONS in finding YOURSELF

Column 2- The ACTION(S) involved to DRIVE your motivation in finding yourself

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

Now…let’s stop here before we go to the final #5….let’s look back on your answers….

You’ll notice a progression from the first age you wrote down, all the way down to the 4th. They should be different. However, results vary based on upbringing, what you were exposed to as far as self actualization is concerned. If you notice column 3 never changes in the question. That is because emotions are ever-changing…and they are ever changing BASED on WHAT we involve ourselves into. See why fear robs us of our happiness? Fear stops us from being involved in new things, when in fact those “new things” push us into our true self.

For example this is mine.

You can see by the 4th point in my life, my lost feelings turned into unhappiness, that unhappiness turned to happiness and then my happiness turned into a myriad of emotions. However, if you notice my emotions changed BASED on what I was exposing myself to. Notice at age 20 I stopped climbing…what was my emotional response from doing only 1 thing?

I think you see my point here…there is no 1 passion…there are multiples…but let’s go onto #5

Draw a line underneath the final column….

5.

Column 1 – The age you CHOSE to PURSUE one of YOUR actions.

Column 2- The ACTION you chose.

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

At this stage, you KNOW who you are, the part of you that acknowledges responsibility and realizes that you are a creator of YOUR destiny. At this stage you are THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE. You know how to dream, you have the courage to pursue your dream, and you are INSPIRED.

This is a WONDERFUL tool to use to gauge your own self awareness and to keep you on track and motivated on your goals.

Remember, it is important for true success to take 1 hour every week to dedicate to yourself. To find your balance and to recharge your energy.

Passion is what is INSIDE your heart. That’s why this project is designed to LOOK inside of you, inside of what your inner thoughts are saying, and to start listening to your true voice, and not the voice of fear who constantly holds us back on a daily basis.

What are 3 things you plan to do this August that will give you MORE exposure to things you may be passionate about?!

GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! 🙂

With Love & Gratitude,

Nevaeh Marie

10 Ways to Happiness

 ” For every day there is sunshine there will be days of rain. It’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.”

This morning on our life coaching mentorship call, we discussed ways to pick ourselves up, and how to help motivate clients in this regard. To be honest, I have made it a testament and a personal goal to continuously fine tune my top 10 ways to happiness. It’s not only worked for myself, but for my clients as well…so I thought I’d share, and of course in no particular order!

1. Practice Compassion

Every one of us is in need of compassion. Sometimes when I have a bad day (yes they happen), something as simple as a hug cures me. That’s my idea of compassion. Other people respond to being listened to, and being UNDERSTOOD & HEARD. You’ll find that this mode of helping someone else, not only takes away from whatever it is you are feeling crappy about, but also helps you feel less alone which feeling crappy has a tendency to make us feel….even more crappy! So get yourself to call someone, text someone, email, and just say…”I’m here for you…I’m not sure if you know that but I am!” The response you’ll get will be more than you could have imagined.

What this does for you: It acts as a way to feel grateful for your current circumstances, allows you to feel not alone and involving yourself in someones life to HELP them, will only give you back exactly what you need…compassion.

2. Find YOUR Passion

Most of the time we’ve grown up with households whose parents have distinguished WHAT we will be passionate for until we are older and figure it’s OUR own desires that lead that. Fortunately, this is a stream that is slowly moving towards self involvement. Find something YOU love to do, and YOUR life will become immensely improved.

What this does for you: Finding YOUR passion will allow you to gain ownership for your life instantly. Half the reason we feel crappy instead of happy is a downward shift in our decisions. If you look at your life you could correlate that your mood could be a result of a recent decision, or not being in line with doing more of what YOU love.

3. Exercise- DAILY!

I’m such a bad example for this, but I have been working vigorously at making this a habit in my life. I actually just started to surround myself with people I can walk with on my lunch break, taking our dog on a walk, going on hikes, etc. I HATE just running on a treadmill, and I do not do well with some boot camp instructor yelling at me to get my ass up. I have found that doing something active for at least 30 minutes a day, helps me feel rejuvenated and HAPPY!

What this does for you: endorphins make you happy. Not to mention, looking good = feeling good.

4. Eat Healthy – DAILY!

I used to eat fast food daily. I don’t know how I didn’t gain about 100 extra pounds, but I constantly felt tired and weighed down. Now, I eat healthy daily and when I don’t I can definitely see a difference in my mood and my appearance. Start searching healthy recipes and begin creating your own creations. Most of my meals are semi-homemade and mostly pastas and soups for dinner, and tuna and yummy hearty sandwiches and salads for lunch.

What this does for you: Energizes you which = happiness

5. Meditate

Okay I may be a mentor and a life coach but I certainly am not a meditative expert. Most of my clients are high stress, worrying over finances and if their company is closing (unfortunately this is the reality of business in todays age). I practice breathing exercises with them as a form of “meditation”. It helps….there are tons of online resources, or you could start by taking just 5 minutes out of your day to sit in your office with (my preference SPA RADIO on Pandora) and zone out. I imagine myself in the wilderness surrounded by lush green trees, the sound of a lake nearby, and birds chirping with the sun shining down on me.

What this does for you: Relaxes your brain so you can begin to feel rational in your decisions and in your emotions.

6. Finance

The F word everyone hates. In all seriousness, as much as I hate looking at my finances (aka medical bills), at the end of pulling teeth it feels better knowing where my funds are at. I use a basic excel spreadsheet, and sometimes writing it out in my journal that I keep in my purse helps me too. As a small tip if you are a shopaholic like I tend to be, take out cash from your account and allow that to be your “allowance” for the week. When I started doing this, I was AMAZED at how much little crap I was spending. Everytime I went to fill up my tank I would buy bubble gum or an iced coffee, at the end of the month my total was $140.00 extra in little shit. Seriously…look closely…the $2-$5 bucks you spend add up.

What this does for you: Financial issues is one of the LEADING causes of stress in America. Why do you think we have so many shows and books on managing finances? However, once you take the time (20 minutes) to dedicate to learning about your financial situation, you’ll feel more confident and less stressed…which equates to more freed moments to happiness.

7. Emotional Balance

Even though this is the field of work I am in, doesn’t mean I still have to remind myself just HOW to be emotionally balanced too. Typically every month I get thrown off my rocker. My boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I’m easily shifted back into asking myself if I am being irrational and “emotional”. Here’s the thing…EVERYONE gets bent out of shape from time to time. It’s called life. However, when we are emotionally imbalanced, we leave more room for all the pain bodies to attack us. Think of ourselves as a cup that constantly needs to be filled with water, and that oil represents the pain and emotional crap we feel. They don’t mesh well..in fact oil will just sit on top of water making you feel bogged down leaving absolutely no room for happiness. Some of us keep filling our cups with oil, and eventually that oil oozes out into other areas of our life affecting anyone who comes in contact with us. It’s IMPORTANT to check yourself.

What this does for you: Allows you to take a moment to self reflect on WHERE you are at. WHY you are feeling the way you do. All 10 steps are designed to interconnect with one another that will help alleviate stress and anxiety to fill your cup with only water.

#8. Simplify your Life

I am a type of person to act before I think. That means at the end of my work week I probably have diverted away from my projects and added new projects because I go where the action is. This is something I am trying to correct. We all have something we are working on. Though this is viewed as something positive to always have things on your plate, when you begin to spread yourself too thin, you create stress.

What this does for you: By subtracting some out of your life means that you’ve established priority. It doesn’t mean you won’t work on it again, it’s all about timing. What is present is most important.

#9. Gratitude

Every month I send out gratitude letters to previous clients, friends, family and acquaintances. When was the last time someone told you how awesome you are, thanked you for something you did or just thanked you for being in their life? We spend more time self involved…than we do involved in others’ lives. Perhaps being a mentor has taught me the importance of a simple question of “how are you?” could lead to an inspiring action. Give thanks…and thanks will be returned back to you.

What this does for you: Fills you up! When you are grateful…the world responds to your gratitude. If your life doesn’t light up by this…then your heart is overly invested in yourself. Remember, balance is key.

#10. Add in Fun

No brainer I know…but here’s the kicker…some of us have way too much fun and that also causes issues with happiness. When you are 70% fun and 30% productive, you begin to feel when you least expect it (most of the time it’s when you are alone), the inadequacy and instability. If you don’t feel this, you are in a delusional state and should contemplate where you’re real passions lie. I’m talking about those of you in our society that tend to party as if it’s your f%^&*ng job. Sorry…but you aren’t an MTV tycoon or a celebrity.

I have a list of things I write out every three months of things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make ME happy. I have a 1. Something outdoors, 2. Something random and 3. Something I fear. Adding in fun is trying new things…that immediately brings you joy.

What this does for you: This is the best way to grow and affect inspiration inside of you. There are thousands of things to do, I guarantee you haven’t even thought outside the box. My something news lately are: Surfing, a random road trip out to Arizona for literally 1 night, roaming naked under the stars in absolutely BFE and making new friends within groups I rarely would ever consider approaching.

Here’s a challenge…get rid of the oil…and add in more water. Oil and water aren’t meant to mix…Incubus got it right. So admit it, and fix it. Only YOU have the power to cultivate and motivate change.

Feed your mind with positivity, with infectious positive change

Over the weekend I have had some time to think about catch up on all the new changes that are happening in my life. Lately I feel like a damn broken record having said that exact statement where I am starting to not be able to catch up with this constant change.

On Friday I received notification of a few press releases I did recently. A few from Atlanta, and a few from locally here in San Diego. I have been in a way very “ballsy” on getting my name, my passion, and my recognition out there in the business realm. I’ve been in this transitional portion of my career. I have decided to go all in on creating this Refuge Center for teens. It’s a start for change, and in the right direction in my opinion for our broken society.

I have heard of about 7 different stories this year alone on teen drug addiction, and as of lately, teen suicide. We all have our stories, and they are filled with pain and some of us try our damndist to make sure we never think about the traumatic pain again. However, I thought this is it. This is THE TIME to actually pursue this, and it all started with Mr. Moses.

I decided to spill the beans on an interview this morning with a publishing company for my book, “Doctor Me” which is about my teen drug addiction and depression that I suffered from, but overcame through doctoring myself. Not to discredit psychiatrists or counselors, my belief is that the best way to overcome especially with someone so intimate as depression, is through doctoring yourself. I include programs that I designed for myself, and have provided to friends and loved ones who found they worked for themselves too. It’s how my visionary program was born, and how I continue to believe that all of “this” happened to me for a reason….and that is to infect change in our broken society.

If you know me, you know I’m loud about something I am passionate about. You know I’ll be the first to take a stand, I’ll be the first to share my opinion…even if it’s not being asked! Mr. Moses, is the very reason why every single day since the 4th of July I’ve worked through my angst of wanting to stay closed for business, and decided it’s time to get back up and start working again. This time…I re-open for change.

The Refuge Center has been a dream of mine for so long, but so has this book about what I’ve gone through. It feels very “naked” of me to speak so openly about what I went through with drugs, alcohol and how I dealt with depression, but I keep going for the message that Moses gave me. “Speak through your heart, live through your heart, inspire from your heart” he would always say to me. It’s ironic how messages become clearer when someone is gone. It’s as if the message roars.

This morning during my brunch meeting, I came in roaring with a message. “Infect Change!” I yelled to the business owners sitting there handing off business cards like a damn herd of cattle. Somedays, especially on Monday’s I seem to not withstand the blue-collar attitudes and stuffiness involved in these brunches that I feel it’s my duty to AWAKEN them. They all stared at me, quiet…a few who I don’t recognize give me dirty looks, this is what I look for. I like for you to feel uncomfortable, when you are uncomfortable I get to work with the raw you, not the “im in my suit” you. I challenged these owners to look inside themselves and ask where their money is going. Are they donating to a cause, are they infecting change in our society or are they just “living” amongst it?

“I see more causes, more passion from my Facebook friends than I do in a brunch full of business owners.” I said very boldly. I could sense the tension, the squeamishness and perhaps even their suits getting tighter. “I challenge you to fathom spending money on a child in need, a homeless man who needs shelter, a battered wife who needs hope, even an animal who is facing slaughter.” I wish you all could have been there or I should have snapped a photo, I saw nothing but faces of outrage, except no one spoke up. No one shouted back at me. No one challenged me. It was quiet, and a little awkward to be honest, but it’s necessary.

I have been causing a “ruckus” for several years, if it’s not at company functions, it’s at companies and if I believe in something, I’ll speak up, what I don’t get is often times I notice I am the only one speaking up.

What is it about the social media circle that is in more in tune with infecting positive change in this world vs the “real” world?

“How can we as in the social media circle, amplify positive change in our broken society?” My partner Patrick makes a valid point, and in turn I logged into my Facebook and showed him all the change I see on a daily basis. “It’s as if the world is waking up” he says with his jaw almost to the floor.

My point is this…feed YOUR mind right. Feed your mind with positivity, with infectious positive change, with passion to see a difference in our world and you will find that passion becomes action when you least expect it.

This is a start….but as I said it earlier this morning to challenge these business owners I have worked with, I challenge my friends, my family, and my colleagues. What are you doing to infect positive change on our world? What will you do?

It takes 5 minutes to say hello to a stranger and have a small conversation….

It takes 2 minutes to hand a sandwich to a homeless man….

It takes 1 minute to decide you’ll help when you see help needed…

What’s stopping you now?

 “We rise together. We are strength in numbers. Our society may be broken, but those of us who are awake, those of us who are not just a part of the herd, we rise. We rise in positivity and are armoured by courage. We rise and we fight. We fight against the authority and choose to protect and help each other. One day, we will look at our society against the corrupt government and see change and be pleased that our people will finally be treated as people.”

What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?

Dare your passions and see what happens…

As a follow-up from my previous post on goals and how I’ve been progressing in my re-creation of my business, I decided to share some insight of things I have learned that help propel me into an introductory state of where my goals are.

Having worked with so many business owners, and now having been a business mentor for so long, I have found one common denominator in creating success. Each individual has had a mentor. I have my own mentor myself. Some either use mentorship through books or online reads, while others have a life coach or a business mentor to assist them in-goal setting and vision strategy. As some of you may know, creating a business is not all that it’s cracked up to be. It is hard work, and it is a very personal project regardless if you work with a partner.

For years I couldn’t connect with a guru for myself, someone who understood how my mind worked and why it worked the way that it did. Little did I know the various relationships I have had since 2006 have all attributed to my “mentorship”. As I’ve talked about Mr. Moses in a previous post, he is definitely a person who I would say was a mentor to me. He was a business owner, and his wisdom carried through his lectures with me. Often times I would go there to read to him, some books I brought were on religion, spirituality, travel, love, and then business. He always insisted on me reading business and a book by Scott Peck called, “The Road Less Traveled”. He and Scott became a mentorship program for me as I began to delve into being a business owner.

Long story short…over the years I have opened and closed businesses. I have been successful and sometimes those successes were long successes, while others I came crashing down on my face. I have built with blood, sweat and tears my own ideas of an empire, and I have watched myself allow fear to control my passions, and watched that “empire” come crashing down. THIS is the reason why I find it so necessary to openly share, not only because I was asked to, but because I want to see others gain success by NOT allowing fear to engulf YOUR ideas.

The project I have posted above is one that I received from a friend of mine who learned from her own motivational guru. See why I love sharing knowledge? Anyway, this project is one of the first things I come to whenever I DO something. I ask myself, “Why Do I get out of bed?” and sometimes I sincerely answer, other times the roaring confident woman in me answers, “Because I’m meant to do more!” That voice of confidence is what you want to listen to all the time. I know what it is like to second guess that confidence, we gain confidence based off of the experiences we have, experiences of us falling on our face, BUT….even if you have no experience in the particular field or project you are going into, HAVE that confidence, BELIEVE in that boldly, it will propel YOUR passion.

Secondly, I create rules based on that project that I alone will live by. These are personal, and will shift and change with each project or endeavor you take on.

Thirdly, I ask what my gut instinct is. For me, my gut tells me everyday that I am to passionately seek people who want to build upon their visions and dreams, and to assist them in doing so.

Lastly, I ask myself what I enjoy doing. This is IMPORTANT and fundamental for you and your growth and not to mention your sanity. Taking a moment out of your mind, your business, your project, to just live…breathe…experience your surroundings…is imperative to your success. Remember that. That’s why I love being outdoors, I use all of my senses to experience MY moment. It revives you.

Many of us don’t grasp that life is fleeting. Are you wanting to work 9-5 for the rest of your life or are you wanting to create a life that allows more freedom for yourself? How will you keep yourself motivated? How will you instruct yourself to be daring?

For me…it was through the relationships I gained. I gained confidence based on what they saw in me because I was seeking with an open vulnerability to be better than where I was yesterday, an hour ago, a minute ago. That’s just me…what are you doing to actively participate in your growth?

I visited the senior home yesterday to pick up a book that Mr. Moses left for me. A note was included in the book, a snippet from it read, “I love you, our talks we had. You are meant to change this world, and you will go down in history. Remember, your heart comes first. You have a huge heart, it is not meant to be covered.”

Mr. Moses saw something in me, he spoke my language and has forever changed my life. His last meeting with me has officially turned an “on” switch in my heart. Our hearts, are NOT meant to be covered. On the 4th of July, it was almost 5 months since I saw him. I visited him at random, and his first words were that he needed to speak to me. It was one of the best meetings we had thus far, little did I know it was our last. After we met, the nurse told me he specifically asked for this book to be purchased and to write the note.

Sometimes, (bear with me as I wipe my tears)…we don’t know how close we get to people who inspire youthat you inspire them too.

It is incredibly important to put yourself out there, to share your passions BOLDLY, so that your positive powerful team will grow. You want to gain confidence? Start by doing that…you will have an entire team backing you…believing in you…rooting for you…and pushing you to achieve YOUR passions.

You want change, create change.

You want to inspire a movement inside of you, dare yourself to be uncomfortable.

You want to conquer fear, then face it without second guessing yourself.

You want to stop second guessing yourself, then act.

Ask yourself How Will I Instruct myself to be more daring?

and then SHARE WHY with anyone willing to listen.

Within just 30 days, you’ll see your support unit will multiply. Count me in as your first.

With Love,

Nevaeh