What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?

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Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

Dedicated to my Grandma…Thank you for meeting Frank Sinatra…

Today I had this incredible thought of a memory I had years ago. A thought that was provoked by a colleague of mine who just happened to ask how the South was in comparison to the West coast. It’s been almost 4 years since I’ve been back “home” and to be honest, I started to train my mind to stop thinking about the South because I miss it so damn much.

I love those moments that you have in the midst of a very busy day, and BOOM a memory comes to mind that just makes you….smile. You know, the kind that starts by the visualization of the memory, the warming of your heart, and then the smile that literally could light up a room and that moment creates a pathway of motivational change. I love when these moments happen…pure bliss.

Today I was jamming out to my Pandora in my office to the “Early Jazz Radio” and I haven’t listened to this station in months. I forgot how soothing the sound of old school jazz makes me feel, and when the upbeat songs come on, I can’t help but tap my foot to the piano and the riffs of the trumpets and horns.

I had a moment where I was being pulled in about 10 different directions with deadlines that were all within minutes apart that I was slowly beginning to panic on how I was going to get all this work done in such a short amount of time. For some reason, I stood there just still as can be and the only thing my body could focus on was the music. It was of course, Billie Holiday one of my favorites “All of Me” how appropriate the song choice was too, but I completely zoned out. I started to sway, with the file folders and stapler in my hands I curled them up into a warm embrace into my chest and closed my eyes. I allowed Billie’s voice carry my stress away into her song. The saxophone was just perfect, as it carried me into a memory of me sitting on a wrap around porch in the South, with my Grandma during a summer day. I had a mason jar in my hand full of ice and sweet tea, and I was 13 years old swinging with my Grandma in the rocking chair as she told me for the 100th time one of my favorite stories.

My Grandma was a fox…plain and simple I admit I come from some pretty decent looking family members. Ha, my boyfriend would say right now how he enjoys my modesty. Anyway, my Grandma on her birthday had Mr. Frank Sinatra himself sing to her. My Grandpa was a big DJ in the South, and knew a lot of the big guys, I remember seeing one of the very awesome black and white photos when I was a little girl and was forever obsessed with the 40s and 50s since that moment. In the photo was 10 people gathered all in front of a ballroom dance floor in two rows. The top row were some of my Grandpa’s fellow radio hosts and people who worked at the station. The bottom row who mostly were sitting….were THE elite…that’s where Mr. Frank Sinatra himself sat, right next to my Grandma and Grandpa. The others in the same row were models and small movie stars, who I never really knew the names of…probably because I was so enamored by Frank.  I loved how elegant everyone looked, especially Frank Sinatra…I loved his suit, his smile, and how my Grandma would reenact how he would talk. I smile even now girlishly remembering the story wishing I was there that night.

That story made such an impression on my life that I began a love for vintage at that moment. I listened to jazz music, and one of my first songs I sang was At Last by Ella Fitzgerald. I named several pets after some of the Jazz greats, especially Frankie. I am enamored by the spirit that was of the 40s and 50s…even though it was full of depression, and hard times…they were inspired by music, by acting, by dreaming…and creating that escape. It was when magic was created….

My Grandma would tell me as I would look at the photo every single detail that happened. Every single time, it felt like she was telling me for the first time.

That memory, was one of the last that I really remember of my Grandmother and I being that close. Sometimes, a good memory is really all that is needed to turn your entire day around.

Today was a day that I’ll dedicate to my Grandmother…and for never getting tired of telling me the same exact story over and over. Sometimes when I have this memory pop up, I smile more at the fact that she was so patient, and visibly thrilled to tell me a story that made ME smile over and over again.

I love you Grandma…always & forever.

I hope this inspires a day that you may have, where trailing off into thought is incredibly needed.

PS: I actually got my work done in time too 😉

Ladies, YOU are an UNSTOPPABLE force…

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”

So, some exciting news is that the long time passionate fun that my family and I would do every time I visit back home in the South is Vintage Shop. I started when I was a little girl with my Great Grandma and Grandma in St. Joseph Missouri. They would take me first to the beauty shop where I got to play with different ways to do my nails and got immediately obsessed with all the scarves and hats that were sold in the beauty shops. I always loved the charm that little towns in the mid-west and South had and maintained the quaint love of vintage in each memory I have as a kid.

It’s no surprise that years later I was buying in bulk every single time I visited the Carolina’s. One weekend my step Mom and I were out every single day, 4 days in a row and after spending a couple hundred dollars, I walked away with almost 2 suitcases worth of AMAZING jackets, shoes, scarves, hats and the list goes on. I later used them in modeling, gave them away to friends, and eventually started selling them.

” I would have never thought of wearing some of the hats I wear or scarves I wear before you.  Now I am bold and brave about it – all thanks to you!  You give me courage.” These comments are the very reason I decided to turn a family tradition into a business. The West coast unfortunately doesn’t even come close to what the South offers, and for a while I was talked out of this idea of bringing the Southern vintage to the West Coast. Now…after many conversations, interactions with local businesses…I have found just by extending my tentacles that this idea could help save the love of vintage in the West Coast. Had I not begun a small research, I would have spent another several years doubting MY idea. How terrible!

My point is this…I am an opportunist. If I see an opportunity, and I feel as if I can somehow provide an opening, an assistance, and it’s geared from my passion…THEN ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY am I going to pursue it.

So many times now I hear of women talking themselves out of great ideas because business still sometimes is viewed as a “man’s world”…

Real talk…Ladies…my lovely ladies…embrace the change, embrace the inspiration that’s inside of you. We only have ONE LIFE…and though I am thankful for having had the career path I had, I am all the more grateful for the career paths I create for MYSELF. Once you have done it once…you are forever changed.

I have 2 mentors that tell me constantly, “Nevaeh, YOU ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE” and every day I battle with my annoying doubter side of me who tells me otherwise. If I listened to that other voice…I would have never gained the experience that I have today.

So I’m telling YOU now ladies, YOU ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE…YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONG, CONFIDENT, SMART AND DON’T FORGET AMAZING. UNSTOPPABLE FORCES ARE A THREAT TO THOSE WHO SPEND THEIR LIVES DOUBTING. YOU ARE NOT A DOUBTER…YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE.

Sometimes…it’s best to just fall…and KNOW…you can always pick yourself up.

Fear is the #1 conqueror in our everyday lives.

What I have ALWAYS loved about the women who I have met within the “pin-up/vintage world” is they all have the very same attitude that I have in my heart…it is a no bullsh!t approach to life, a “I don’t give a crap I’m doing this…” attitude and the very confident courageous yet open embrace to life that is the reason I BELIEVE in and look up to the women who have this.

Each one of us women…have the capability to inspire and feed the fire of our motivation, we have an uncanny way of using our intuition as a power to cultivate our determination.

I have met more business owners that are women than men in today’s business world, and I am in constant contact with local businesses being in the field of work I am in, and the best advice I can provide to any woman out there who is second guessing is this…YOU ARE A CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE…ask yourself these:

1. Am I HAPPY with what I have created?

2. Is this MY creation?

3. If it’s not…what is the picture of MY CREATION?

4. Am I holding myself back because of “circumstances”? (and if you are, snap out of it…you’ll be stuck there for years never moving forward, constantly talking yourself out of it,and then someone else will come up with the same idea and pursue it)

and 5. What’s REALLY stopping me? (Face it…and move FORWARD…if you felt excited over a project or an idea with that burning desire to do it…then DO IT!)

Find a role model that you adore…mine are Audrey Hepburn and Oprah, both timeless women who evoke courage and beauty from within, I learned and still learn many lessons of the type of woman I want to become thanks to their attributes.

Who is your LEADING LADY and what are you doing to cultivate a new direction for YOUR life?

The Sing your <3 heart out dare!

I don’t know about you, but I get super pumped and hyped when I get involved in something that AFFECTS change. There is nothing that compares to the amount of gratifying “good feelings” you get from being a part of something that affects change. Perhaps most of us get sold on that idea…but whatever it is…it’s great to have that fingerprint for change.

This morning during one of my life coaching calls, we were discussing a new approach to affecting change and  inspiring our clients on HOW to affect change in your life. Did you know it’s one of the hardest things to commit to, yet we’re so eager to help affect change for a cause not of our “own”?

Why is it so difficult to affect change for OUR own cause?

Every single one of us has a cause that we are trying to work on affecting. Every single one of us has goals and accomplishments that we would like to see continue flourishing, but yet every single one of us gets in the lazy slump, discouraged and our change becomes unaffected.

My guru came up with a simple tool about a year ago while I was obsessing over my issues with the inability to stay on the change coaster.

It was in the midst of my writing for a small publication, and for the life of me I kept coming back at my writing with a blank mind. I tried painting, I tried singing in the shower, I tried rock climbing, ballet, surfing, I even went out to my secluded secret beach spot during a sunset trying to romanticize myself to come up with something, anything…and yet…still nothing! I was incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I could feel anger seeping into my veins, and thought I either better go grab a drink or go for a run and cool off.

I remembered a conversation I had with my guru a while back…he told me, “Do you ever just roll down your windows, blare a ridiculously awesome ballad, and sing your heart out when your angry? Talk about a mind release.” and I thought…let’s do it. I’ve literally tried everything in a 2 day span.

It was a very sunny and gorgeous day in Orange County, and I was in 5PM traffic. I thought…perfect…the one time out of the day I get the inspiration to do this project. Being the motivational aspect of my client’s lives, I had to challenge myself to do this regardless of how embarrassing this was about to make me feel.

So I rolled down my windows, put in my Live Journey CD, and blared on max volume “Dont stop believing”. 15 mph and the awesome stop and go’s allowed me to make eye contact with my fellow traffic peeps, and as I gave into the music and just allowed myself to let go and live in the moment, I noticed as I opened my eyes mid rock out session during the chorus, I noticed the car to the right of me full of college kids playing along with me, to my left I got nothing but odd looks so I did the ole pointer gesture at them and a wink. I was HAVING SO MUCH FUN, I FORGOT EVERYTHING AT THAT MOMENT.

As the song ended, I turned down my radio…traffic started to pick up again and my smile didn’t leave my face for about 2 weeks. During that time, I wrote an article which was submitted and published…I never told anyone about this except for my family who was my #1 support through this time. Writing was something I kept hidden, like singing and dancing…I know I’m weird with my “talents” but doing a project like this…helped me get a little outside of my shell and into living in the moment.

Sometimes…we just need to step away from our lives and into living…

I dare you…in fact I double dog dare you to try this…you can’t beat songs from the 80’s to early 90’s to blare this…and you never know…you could just as well might be brightening another persons day too!

Happy Singing 😉