What the sh!t?

“We sell fear!”

This was probably the most interesting endings I ever had to a sales day. I thought going to school that juggling modeling, promotional work, and working at a sales job that was rewarding in character (i.e. selling safety device to seniors) would be a great fit for the remainder of my 2012 career.

I was f*&(ing wrong!

What the shit happened to society today? What the shit happened to business today? What happened to feeling safe in an office environment, in a school environment even?

You know when you start a new job or even a project and you’re like super amped about it in the beginning. You’re wearing what I call “rose colored glasses” and little by little as the days go on in the endeavor, the glasses start to vanish. You start to see things differently. Clearly. I am ALL TOO FAMILIAR with this life rotation that I plan for it. It’s why I have always had multiple streams of income in order to weigh out just how retarded our society (speaking business standards) has become.

I went through 2 weeks of extensive training with an AMAZING trainer. She was so patient with a class of 12 really random individuals, and she was very fun to learn from. She reminded me of one of my school teachers in High School, someone who I could connect with and felt empowered by. So, I was naturally excited to graduate from training and finally get on the sales floor and help saving lives one phone call at a time.

The first day, we met the supervisor.

She was a bitch.

If you know me, it takes a hell of a lot for me to say that or call someone that. I literally have no other words to describe such a poor attitude in a woman. What was so sad though, was she is so pretty, and the moment she opened her mouth it was Jersey Shore trash…you know the typical Jersey Shore where she thought her own shit didn’t stink. This was my first what the shit moment.

Not even an hour into sales and talking to some awesome seniors on the phone, she pulls me aside.

“You are too nice.” She says.

That was my second what the shit moment.

The glasses were slowly coming off my face.

There I was sitting in my cubicle (fuck, when did I get in a cubicle again from having my own in home office to now a mother fucking cubicle!), and this instant message pops up on my computer.

The instant message is full of wink faces and small talk. I look to see who it is, and sure enough it’s the creeper supervisor whose been eyeballing my shit.

That was the third what the shit moment.

I scratched the side of my right temple contemplating how or if I should respond. Each second I kept thinking, more wink face emoticons were coming through the instant message, as if they were poking me on the forehead.

Finally I responded with something work related and ended the conversation. He continued to blabber on about how “cool” my name is. What the fuck ever guy.

Every single time I got up to use the restroom…the entire sales floor complete with about 30+ men and about 2 girls, all stared. Occasionally would interject my walking and asked if I needed anything, how my day was, etc. In the beginning I thought, “How nice everyone is!” thanks to those rose stupid colored mother fucking glasses…and then boom…

They decided to fall off.

“Everyone you sell FEAR here! If they aren’t full of fear on the phone, they won’t buy from you! Remember, if they say they are fixed income, those seniors are lying to you!”

Then…my heart dropped. It literally sunk so far deep into my gut I grew physically ill.

I thought of every person I talk to, deal with as if they are my own family, my own friend. Even when I had my own business, I believed  in and still do, on building value through quality work, through quality customer service, through proper rapport building.

I left without saying goodbye, and I didn’t look back.

I got home…dropped my bags at my feet in my room…and then I started crying. I let it out.

I threw up.

All of the words this supervisor bitch was saying and has said to me which I didn’t even fully cover because it would make you sick too, fled through my mind.

I am a very rational person. I take everything that happens as a reason. I thought about one thing specifically she said, “What are you, like mid 20’s, a damn model and you probably never owned a business in your lifetime, at your age I was making like thousands of dollars a month, had two kids, and maybe you just don’t feel accomplished yet for whatever reason….” and went on and on…I started to feel small. I thought…THIS IS WHAT KIDS FEEL IN SCHOOL TODAY.

Sometimes…situations in life like this are what you are faced with…where the reality of life is, High School just never ends.

I did end up reporting this incident…and quickly fled this company.

It put things in perspective for my life….and I hope you take this piece of advice.

Do not chase money.

Do not compromise YOUR HAPPINESS.

Do not at any circumstances allow someone negative to come into your space and fuck it up.

This is YOUR life.

A friend of mine asked me, “There are no perfect jobs out there Nevaeh, why didn’t you just stay and deal?”

My response…”Because I am not a part of the herd.I beat to my own drum. That drumbeat…is living a positive life. I don’t tolerate anything less.”

I admit…fuck…I’m human…money has always been something that came easily to me. However, the lesson learned here is motivation.

My Dad text me, “Hi honey….how are you doing today?”

My Mom emailed me with a title “SMILE” and said something brilliant which made my What the Shit moment, a moment of clarity, she asked,  “Maybe this experience for you was only about more motivation to drive you forward?”

This was the moment I meditated on the fact that I was learning a big life lesson. I was gaining…what my Dad called, “wisdom”. This taught me something about myself…the fire and ignition and passion for activism, for humanitarianism, and for social change was flooding through my veins.

I feel empowered, focused and comfortable with this change that I’ve been talking about doing for the last several months but begrudgingly never wanted to actually do.

Here I am….

I surrender.

“At times…we face the “WHAT THE SHIT” moments to face our inner fears….to face who we are currently to face that we still need to grow and make new changes to become what we desire to be. Be open to growth…and the universe will respond to your every desire. I know…because I’m living it now.”

 

10 Ways to Happiness

 ” For every day there is sunshine there will be days of rain. It’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.”

This morning on our life coaching mentorship call, we discussed ways to pick ourselves up, and how to help motivate clients in this regard. To be honest, I have made it a testament and a personal goal to continuously fine tune my top 10 ways to happiness. It’s not only worked for myself, but for my clients as well…so I thought I’d share, and of course in no particular order!

1. Practice Compassion

Every one of us is in need of compassion. Sometimes when I have a bad day (yes they happen), something as simple as a hug cures me. That’s my idea of compassion. Other people respond to being listened to, and being UNDERSTOOD & HEARD. You’ll find that this mode of helping someone else, not only takes away from whatever it is you are feeling crappy about, but also helps you feel less alone which feeling crappy has a tendency to make us feel….even more crappy! So get yourself to call someone, text someone, email, and just say…”I’m here for you…I’m not sure if you know that but I am!” The response you’ll get will be more than you could have imagined.

What this does for you: It acts as a way to feel grateful for your current circumstances, allows you to feel not alone and involving yourself in someones life to HELP them, will only give you back exactly what you need…compassion.

2. Find YOUR Passion

Most of the time we’ve grown up with households whose parents have distinguished WHAT we will be passionate for until we are older and figure it’s OUR own desires that lead that. Fortunately, this is a stream that is slowly moving towards self involvement. Find something YOU love to do, and YOUR life will become immensely improved.

What this does for you: Finding YOUR passion will allow you to gain ownership for your life instantly. Half the reason we feel crappy instead of happy is a downward shift in our decisions. If you look at your life you could correlate that your mood could be a result of a recent decision, or not being in line with doing more of what YOU love.

3. Exercise- DAILY!

I’m such a bad example for this, but I have been working vigorously at making this a habit in my life. I actually just started to surround myself with people I can walk with on my lunch break, taking our dog on a walk, going on hikes, etc. I HATE just running on a treadmill, and I do not do well with some boot camp instructor yelling at me to get my ass up. I have found that doing something active for at least 30 minutes a day, helps me feel rejuvenated and HAPPY!

What this does for you: endorphins make you happy. Not to mention, looking good = feeling good.

4. Eat Healthy – DAILY!

I used to eat fast food daily. I don’t know how I didn’t gain about 100 extra pounds, but I constantly felt tired and weighed down. Now, I eat healthy daily and when I don’t I can definitely see a difference in my mood and my appearance. Start searching healthy recipes and begin creating your own creations. Most of my meals are semi-homemade and mostly pastas and soups for dinner, and tuna and yummy hearty sandwiches and salads for lunch.

What this does for you: Energizes you which = happiness

5. Meditate

Okay I may be a mentor and a life coach but I certainly am not a meditative expert. Most of my clients are high stress, worrying over finances and if their company is closing (unfortunately this is the reality of business in todays age). I practice breathing exercises with them as a form of “meditation”. It helps….there are tons of online resources, or you could start by taking just 5 minutes out of your day to sit in your office with (my preference SPA RADIO on Pandora) and zone out. I imagine myself in the wilderness surrounded by lush green trees, the sound of a lake nearby, and birds chirping with the sun shining down on me.

What this does for you: Relaxes your brain so you can begin to feel rational in your decisions and in your emotions.

6. Finance

The F word everyone hates. In all seriousness, as much as I hate looking at my finances (aka medical bills), at the end of pulling teeth it feels better knowing where my funds are at. I use a basic excel spreadsheet, and sometimes writing it out in my journal that I keep in my purse helps me too. As a small tip if you are a shopaholic like I tend to be, take out cash from your account and allow that to be your “allowance” for the week. When I started doing this, I was AMAZED at how much little crap I was spending. Everytime I went to fill up my tank I would buy bubble gum or an iced coffee, at the end of the month my total was $140.00 extra in little shit. Seriously…look closely…the $2-$5 bucks you spend add up.

What this does for you: Financial issues is one of the LEADING causes of stress in America. Why do you think we have so many shows and books on managing finances? However, once you take the time (20 minutes) to dedicate to learning about your financial situation, you’ll feel more confident and less stressed…which equates to more freed moments to happiness.

7. Emotional Balance

Even though this is the field of work I am in, doesn’t mean I still have to remind myself just HOW to be emotionally balanced too. Typically every month I get thrown off my rocker. My boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I’m easily shifted back into asking myself if I am being irrational and “emotional”. Here’s the thing…EVERYONE gets bent out of shape from time to time. It’s called life. However, when we are emotionally imbalanced, we leave more room for all the pain bodies to attack us. Think of ourselves as a cup that constantly needs to be filled with water, and that oil represents the pain and emotional crap we feel. They don’t mesh well..in fact oil will just sit on top of water making you feel bogged down leaving absolutely no room for happiness. Some of us keep filling our cups with oil, and eventually that oil oozes out into other areas of our life affecting anyone who comes in contact with us. It’s IMPORTANT to check yourself.

What this does for you: Allows you to take a moment to self reflect on WHERE you are at. WHY you are feeling the way you do. All 10 steps are designed to interconnect with one another that will help alleviate stress and anxiety to fill your cup with only water.

#8. Simplify your Life

I am a type of person to act before I think. That means at the end of my work week I probably have diverted away from my projects and added new projects because I go where the action is. This is something I am trying to correct. We all have something we are working on. Though this is viewed as something positive to always have things on your plate, when you begin to spread yourself too thin, you create stress.

What this does for you: By subtracting some out of your life means that you’ve established priority. It doesn’t mean you won’t work on it again, it’s all about timing. What is present is most important.

#9. Gratitude

Every month I send out gratitude letters to previous clients, friends, family and acquaintances. When was the last time someone told you how awesome you are, thanked you for something you did or just thanked you for being in their life? We spend more time self involved…than we do involved in others’ lives. Perhaps being a mentor has taught me the importance of a simple question of “how are you?” could lead to an inspiring action. Give thanks…and thanks will be returned back to you.

What this does for you: Fills you up! When you are grateful…the world responds to your gratitude. If your life doesn’t light up by this…then your heart is overly invested in yourself. Remember, balance is key.

#10. Add in Fun

No brainer I know…but here’s the kicker…some of us have way too much fun and that also causes issues with happiness. When you are 70% fun and 30% productive, you begin to feel when you least expect it (most of the time it’s when you are alone), the inadequacy and instability. If you don’t feel this, you are in a delusional state and should contemplate where you’re real passions lie. I’m talking about those of you in our society that tend to party as if it’s your f%^&*ng job. Sorry…but you aren’t an MTV tycoon or a celebrity.

I have a list of things I write out every three months of things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make ME happy. I have a 1. Something outdoors, 2. Something random and 3. Something I fear. Adding in fun is trying new things…that immediately brings you joy.

What this does for you: This is the best way to grow and affect inspiration inside of you. There are thousands of things to do, I guarantee you haven’t even thought outside the box. My something news lately are: Surfing, a random road trip out to Arizona for literally 1 night, roaming naked under the stars in absolutely BFE and making new friends within groups I rarely would ever consider approaching.

Here’s a challenge…get rid of the oil…and add in more water. Oil and water aren’t meant to mix…Incubus got it right. So admit it, and fix it. Only YOU have the power to cultivate and motivate change.

Where are you going?

ImageThis last week has been a challenging week for me…multiple reasons. I have been on a mission to find out what to do with my time, my businesses, my coaching, my spare time, and the list goes on. Fortunately I have been blessed to have too much on my plate than very little on my plate, however it gets daunting when I don’t know which one to pour my energy into.

I spent time in my Nevaeh Office brain to decipher which goals are appropriate to go after. I have been asked several times to share details on how to come up with a solid approach to identify goals to pursue and which ones not to. There really is not “real” answer to this. Each one of us works on goals and taking initiative to complete them differently. You MUST have the desire to motivate yourself continuously because no one else will do that for you. Sometimes life-coaches like myself, are wonderful for adding value to your motivation, but you can only draw a horse to water…the rest is up to you.

This quote has always struck a chord in me to have my fire lit again. I would rather at the end of my life look back and see that I took more chances on things I wanted to do, vs spending time thinking about those chances and wishing I actually did them and reviewing how I might have felt, or where my life would have went had I done so.

I may have mentioned before that I assist at a senior home monthly. On the 4th of July, I baked some cookies and stopped by. It’s honestly been months since I’ve been there, but I was immediately touched to see faces that remembered me. One gentlemen who I read to caught up with me. I watched him and smiled as he was delighted to actually have a snicker-doodle cookie, he sat back in his wheelchair, propped his right elbow on the armrest and fed himself his cookie. A nurse stood by to help, but I nodded at her to give Mr. Moses a chance to trust in his abilities. He said, “you can go now, I want to just talk to my angel” to the nurse. I swear my name is a derivative to anything “heaven” based because of my name, I really am not as much of an angel as some like to nickname me, but I am often flattered by it. It makes my heart smile.

Mr. Moses finished his cookie, smiled and thanked me for thinking of everyone on a National Holiday that normally would call people my age to drink and party, instead I was there with him reading. Moments like that, make me remember that THIS is what life is about. I responded, “The 4th is too busy for that, I have the weekend to be freely out of control”. Mr. Moses’ laughed, his laugh roars throughout the entire home infectiously making the others laugh, including myself. He held my hand and told me he felt like he needed to tell me something…I have been seeing Mr. Moses for a while, someone who has attributed to my personal growth. We spend the majority of our visits reading and discussing life lessons.

“Angel….tell me…are you happy with your life, where it’s at, where it’s going?”

“Yes…you know me, I am always revising my life to make sure I am moving ahead and not backwards.”

“Angel….don’t spend too much time in your mind, you have a beautiful mind, but your heart….that heart is hidden lately. I can tell.”

At this point, I never felt anyone aside from my boyfriend look INSIDE me and genuinely give me something to work on. I always appreciate this.

“You are right. I actually have felt that blockage…perhaps it’s the recent events I told you about that closed me off.”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “Remember when I told you to question yourself and your goals…would you rather be a woman who is strong using her mind and her intellect to affect change, to create an empire, or would you rather be a woman who is so strong in her love for herself, her life, her world, her friends, her family, to create a passion…that same passion I saw months ago when you first walked into here. Where is that light?”

I started to smile, gleaming from ear to ear at him…and then I began to cry…he held me in the best embrace he could provide me in his old age stature, for 10 minutes as I just dumped what was going on to him.

“I’m scared of not being successful….having to close 3 companies because it isn’t my direction anymore scares me because I felt like I wasted my time. It honestly feels like I can’t give energy to anything new because I am mourning over it.”

He laughed again at me, and sat me upright, “Darlin’ you are the most tenacious woman I have seen since the 50’s! You have accomplished so much, that you need to celebrate your accomplishments. All accomplishments end, they are goals you complete and your personality is one that breeds new territory on a regular basis. Be happy you are of a few who can cultivate that, and share that wisdom with others so we have a world of dream cultivators! You of all people should never second guess yourself, you of all people should be second guessing why you aren’t pursuing everything YOU desire.”

“How do I do that?”

“You start with what your heart is telling you….then you write it down, and you work on a plan using that mind of yours to create that goal to come to fruition. And then you do it. And then you enjoy it. Always give gratitude back to yourself for a hard work done. Start with the heart, use your brain to fuel your hearts desire, and move through your goals with the passion that your heart provides. That is the secret to success.”

I was in full-blown tears at this point because his words were resounding truth in my ears. He was right…I have spent more time in my mind lately than spending more time in my heart and too afraid to let my heart shine or have others feel the warmth I have.

The same goes with our goals….sometimes we are too much in our “heads” our “minds” where it feels as if we’ve lived out the goal…but really we are remaining in a dreamlike state never moving forward. Don’t be afraid to have countless “oh wells” for they are the lessons learned, the added wisdom, and not wasted time….and we are the dream cultivators. We are the goal warriors. We have EVERYTHING provided to us that will create success, the only thing stopping us is us.

So…I ask myself, “Where am I going?” My answer….”Everywhere I WANT to go”

Dedicated to the influential & loving “Mr. Moses” aka Valentine.

Rest in Peace: 2/13/1921-7/8/2012 “Mr. Moses”

Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

Dedicated to my Grandma…Thank you for meeting Frank Sinatra…

Today I had this incredible thought of a memory I had years ago. A thought that was provoked by a colleague of mine who just happened to ask how the South was in comparison to the West coast. It’s been almost 4 years since I’ve been back “home” and to be honest, I started to train my mind to stop thinking about the South because I miss it so damn much.

I love those moments that you have in the midst of a very busy day, and BOOM a memory comes to mind that just makes you….smile. You know, the kind that starts by the visualization of the memory, the warming of your heart, and then the smile that literally could light up a room and that moment creates a pathway of motivational change. I love when these moments happen…pure bliss.

Today I was jamming out to my Pandora in my office to the “Early Jazz Radio” and I haven’t listened to this station in months. I forgot how soothing the sound of old school jazz makes me feel, and when the upbeat songs come on, I can’t help but tap my foot to the piano and the riffs of the trumpets and horns.

I had a moment where I was being pulled in about 10 different directions with deadlines that were all within minutes apart that I was slowly beginning to panic on how I was going to get all this work done in such a short amount of time. For some reason, I stood there just still as can be and the only thing my body could focus on was the music. It was of course, Billie Holiday one of my favorites “All of Me” how appropriate the song choice was too, but I completely zoned out. I started to sway, with the file folders and stapler in my hands I curled them up into a warm embrace into my chest and closed my eyes. I allowed Billie’s voice carry my stress away into her song. The saxophone was just perfect, as it carried me into a memory of me sitting on a wrap around porch in the South, with my Grandma during a summer day. I had a mason jar in my hand full of ice and sweet tea, and I was 13 years old swinging with my Grandma in the rocking chair as she told me for the 100th time one of my favorite stories.

My Grandma was a fox…plain and simple I admit I come from some pretty decent looking family members. Ha, my boyfriend would say right now how he enjoys my modesty. Anyway, my Grandma on her birthday had Mr. Frank Sinatra himself sing to her. My Grandpa was a big DJ in the South, and knew a lot of the big guys, I remember seeing one of the very awesome black and white photos when I was a little girl and was forever obsessed with the 40s and 50s since that moment. In the photo was 10 people gathered all in front of a ballroom dance floor in two rows. The top row were some of my Grandpa’s fellow radio hosts and people who worked at the station. The bottom row who mostly were sitting….were THE elite…that’s where Mr. Frank Sinatra himself sat, right next to my Grandma and Grandpa. The others in the same row were models and small movie stars, who I never really knew the names of…probably because I was so enamored by Frank.  I loved how elegant everyone looked, especially Frank Sinatra…I loved his suit, his smile, and how my Grandma would reenact how he would talk. I smile even now girlishly remembering the story wishing I was there that night.

That story made such an impression on my life that I began a love for vintage at that moment. I listened to jazz music, and one of my first songs I sang was At Last by Ella Fitzgerald. I named several pets after some of the Jazz greats, especially Frankie. I am enamored by the spirit that was of the 40s and 50s…even though it was full of depression, and hard times…they were inspired by music, by acting, by dreaming…and creating that escape. It was when magic was created….

My Grandma would tell me as I would look at the photo every single detail that happened. Every single time, it felt like she was telling me for the first time.

That memory, was one of the last that I really remember of my Grandmother and I being that close. Sometimes, a good memory is really all that is needed to turn your entire day around.

Today was a day that I’ll dedicate to my Grandmother…and for never getting tired of telling me the same exact story over and over. Sometimes when I have this memory pop up, I smile more at the fact that she was so patient, and visibly thrilled to tell me a story that made ME smile over and over again.

I love you Grandma…always & forever.

I hope this inspires a day that you may have, where trailing off into thought is incredibly needed.

PS: I actually got my work done in time too 😉

Avoid “The missed opportunity”….

Image

Innately, each one of us has dreams. Sometimes they are called goals and goals are just masked as dreams, while sometimes you don’t even know you have a dream until the very opportunity is placed before you to head down that particular direction. But why aren’t more of us pursuing our dreams? Are we waiting for that “sign” of approval to go and chase after our dreams? Are we being too careful and eventually psyching our self out?

I had lunch with an old colleague about a few months ago and discussed the idea of pursuing dreams. During our “catch up” lunch date, she told me that she quit her 5 year position recently and has been enjoying living off her savings. I was SHOCKED! This girl was more into business than I was! I immediately questioned her sanity, as she laughed and filled me in on her recent inspiring action. “I felt SO alive when I realized that this isn’t how I pictured to live my life. I would rather figure out how to pay for things doing other jobs that interest me, vs staying another year of desk job work at a company or position which wasn’t something I felt passionate for. I am not unhappy, I liked my job, I loved the company, but I only live once…and though the money was great, I wasn’t living.” She began to rattle onto me the math of how many hours you work in a two week basis, how much dollar amount to work ratio that it actually was, basically she dissected her decision to the point of making sure she was completely rational in thought. I admired that.I admired her passion and drive for pursuing a new life. A life that was a life she created and wanted for herself. She now does French tutoring for a small group of people, she cuts hair on the side and all the other free time she has is spent devoted to green initiatives at a solar company working a very low minimal 10 hours a week and makes inspiring strides towards companies to change and become green. She gets more money and more time to do the things SHE wants to do. She went on to tell me that she was snowboarding more at Big Bear, and that she plans to vacation in Hawaii in the summer. I was in awe at how many various jobs she had going, but so much life was gleaming from her. I was so jealous and in a way I was judging her decision thinking she would regret doing what she did.

That conversation continued to resonate in my mind and occasionally come back in my head at random over the last few months.

I thought very seriously about my life, where it is at and where I’d like it to go. I knew the conversation I had with her made an impact I just didn’t know in what regard. I have taken pride in my ability to just up and leave a position to pursue another position that was more in line with the type of work I wanted to do, or gain a skill I needed to gain in order to move ahead in my goals. But…there was my problem…I was looking at my goals as the masked dreams as they are.

At what point of our lives did we learn that “following our dreams” was a bad thing?

Real talk…how many times have you pursued a dream? I see so many mutual friends of mine that have worked their tails off at a dream and now finally seeing them come true. I have worked personally with several tycoons who are experts of dreaming and watch them vigorously chase after their dreams…but yet we have the tendency to limit ourselves based on fear. Our belief tells us that this dream is for someone else…or someone else is already doing this…and then before you know it…you are faced with a missed opportunity.

How dirty is the reflection in the mirror we look at?

I thank God, the Universe and whatever else I can thank that has brought me into the paths of some extraordinary people to help inspire inside of me a need and deep rooted desire to follow MY dreams.

Following your dreams is work…

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm!” and so it is true. Emerson takes up a lot of room in my quote collection as his words resonate truth to me. I used to think that following your dreams was so easy, you think it and BOOM it happens…

Wrong.

Here’s the truth…yes there are people in this world who are very fortunate to know the right people and have the funds easily available….basically they have opportunity after opportunity thrown in their lap. The real science to it, is being open to opportunity.

It took me a very long while to grasp the “rich getting richer” concept, really was based on perspective. How YOU view your current situation is correct. On the contrary, how you view how you want your situation to become, is also correct.

Whatever we think about…we bring about. Whatever the mind can conceive….you will achieve.

Age old sayings that once you are in THAT zone of inspiration…that is when all those moments add up, the quotes, the affirmations, the motivational discussions, the random discussions all of which bring you to that crossroads moment where you FEEL and decide if you plan to pursue that feeling of change, or to deny it and potentially have a missed opportunity.

Life is too short. Plain and simple.

I am dealing with a medical condition right now called Cluster Headaches…they are terrible! They deem the nickname the suicide headache…go figure I get the one headache issue that is incurable haha! I cannot help but sometimes look at my situation and laugh…this could be worse is what I always tell myself. It helps me put things in perspective, and to remind myself that I am confident in my ability to create and alter my life based on certain events or needs that have to be met for myself.

Once you choose that your happiness supersedes all…that is when you know you have power to create and change anything in your life….

It provides unrelenting power.

Think of being in a relationship….why be with someone who isn’t taking your happiness into consideration…you naturally would think of yourself and want more for yourself…ultimately leaving your relationship to pursue something or someone more in line with your happiness.

The same is for everything else in your life.

Sometimes, we live life as work and love…having a very thick line between the two, providing rules and regulations for the two separately. This is a very dangerous and minimalistic thought process…and for years was my issue of being unable to unlock my potential.

Find the confidence in you to FOLLOW your dreams.

Whatever they are…follow them.

Here’s a quick way to find confidence in you to follow your dreams…

The Timeline

I am a planner so what I did was create a timeline. I do them for anything I am involved in…again goes in with my need to not waste time.

I lay out my dream (i.e. The Change Movement) I’ll use as an example…

I write out Jan – Dec on the timeline….and write out a to do list off to the side and number them out 1-100.

Each month I’ll write down the number assigned to the particular task under the day I completed it.

This allows me to VISUALLY see what I am doing, and what is left on my to do list. It gets encouraging to see things marked off, or to see one day numbers 1-9 all completed. This will also let you know if you are rationally following a dream. I have done that before and found things just didn’t add up and moved onto a new project.

The cool thing is, once you realize you can follow any dream you have…you’ll find your plates need to be full.

Here’s to dreaming…and here’s to watching those dreams come true for you.

With love,

Nevaeh