Judgement Day.

Okay if you REALLY believe the world is going to end tomorrow, keep in mind that tomorrow 12/21 has already hit other countries. So hooray!

Now that’s addressed, onto the more important topic. Compassion.

In my latest research with Mr. Fogg from Stanford University (we’re in the process of understanding tiny habits), I have found 1 common thought that kept popping up in my mind. “Why are we not downloading the habit of acts of compassion?”

“Shit!” I thought, I am no Mother Teresa where compassion is second nature to me, and I know I am hard on myself as it is. I TRUST in realism. I TRUST in the facts. The other day, as I was retraining my habits to implement new tiny habits, I thought what the hell, I’ll add in the random act of compassion.

One of my clients made stationary, and I shared an idea with her to help bring in new business. I took this idea and I personalized it. At the end of the month on Thursday I send out a note to 3 people I want to personally thank them for who they are and also uplift them. Life happens and bad things happen, so do good things, and I felt it’s one of the most unexpected act of compassion that I could provide to those in my life. I wanted to purposefully seek out those who I normally wouldn’t thank. I shared this with my organization MOTIVATEme. in hopes that this sort of compassion will spread.

It did.

Then….

 

I started to sense that there is a certain frequency in our world.

Hang in there with me, I know this sounds crazy!

I’ve been “sensing” frequency ever since I overcame depression, drug addiction and cancer. Woo Hoo triple whammy!

I never was one for the ole “I had a near death experience and it makes me sensitive to situations” but I guess it does. I have an uncanny ability to feel and sense my surroundings. I feel so much that I had to train myself to stop feeling to a certain degree just to get a handle on my emotions. (I did have a trained mentor for this process)

Some people have called it intuition. I don’t know what the definition is, but I am damn happy to be able to have it for positive use.

So, my “feeling” of frequency lately is the reason why we lack so much compassion in this world, it is the feeling of competition…aka judgement.

I started to look around. I started to listen closely to HOW people were responding. HOW people were closing up and not talking or sharing. HOW people started to get angry over other peoples opinions, just because their own opinions were lacking exultation.  There is a healthy competition and a healthy way to share ideas and share opinions, but in the air as of lately, i’ll be blunt, it sounds more like children arguing in a sandbox. The “I know, you don’t need to tell me, I get it” or I heard this yesterday, “What, how can you not believe the way I do?! Who are you?!” (In reference to a television show. The extreme “frequency” response of competition. See what I mean?)

Let me sharpen the scope even more for you.

Take the very gruesome act of the Sandy shooting. It makes me sick to know there are people like this in this world. However, how are we a society who is broken, handling this? Are we REALLY handling it or are we competing with the hate towards this act? Are we competing with how sad so and so is vs so and so over this act? Maybe I see and hear a different sensation on social media and discussions around me. But, the naked truth is that the issue is much larger than a “madman”:

So, how do we fix this?

I have witnessed more change in people’s lives who are going down a wrong path, myself included, through compassionate storytelling. Everyone is a storyteller. Everyone knows someone or some situation that has changed the outlook of your life and in turn it can help change the outlook of another persons life.

I think about these “mad men” who give in to their negative thoughts so far so deep they no longer remember humanity.

Consider this story….

A little boy who grows up being raised to wake up and hand Mommy her morning needle. His Mom is a stripper and a heroin addict. He has to learn how to make his own lunch, help his brothers and sisters get ready for school. He feeds everyone dinner. He tucks the kids to bed, and stays awake doing homework waiting for his Mom to come home, hopefully alive. The young boy spends the following 16 years of his life helping & worrying over his Mom. He had to grow up never knowing his father, and yet somehow, have to figure out how to be Daddy and a son. He had to learn how to walk away from fights on his own when kids would tease him for having a “Mom who is a drugged up slut”. But, the teasing continued. Since he was a kid all he knows about life is drug addiction and loneliness.  All he knows is that society will judge him because other people find his family  “lowly” and uneducated. He continues to grow up believing just as they do and begins to create the habit of believing he is “lowly” too. He refuses to ask for help. Instead, he lets the loneliness turn to bitterness through his adolescent life…and over time that bitterness turns to rage. At 20 years old, his mother dies of a drug overdose and the rage sets in and he begins to fight back. He starts searching for the kids who teased him as a child, who called his mother a slut. He uses the anger, the pain and the loneliness to fuel his darkest thoughts. He uses the loneliness as a reminder that no one will listen to him, that YES THIS IS ME I AM LOWLY resonates loudly in his ears, like a mantra. He spends the next 3 years of his life in and out of jail for fighting. He loses contact of his brothers and sisters who helped raise to be wonderful beings. He then loses contact with himself. He begins to think that he should find these people, kill them, and commit suicide. He feels fed up. He feels angry, and he knows his targets. They are rich, they are happy and they won’t see it coming. He starts to contemplate this idea seriously for the next 3 years while still incarcerated for rape.

At 26 years old he sits in his cell looking at the photos of the 5 kids who used to tease him, these are his targets. His face is full of no expression. His face is fearless. His eyes were black. He was a man who has gone mad. A young lady walks in to his cell, a Bible in her hand. He shakes his head looking at her up and down in approval of her beauty. He nods her over to sit in front of his cell, welcoming the hilarious conversation of “biblical chat” he was used to. She stood her ground. Firm as can be, she sat directly in front of his cell. Two guards were behind her with their arms folded behind them in a Military stance. She sits within reaching distance of him, as a silent way of saying, “I’m not afraid of you. I want to understand you.” He chuckles as soon as he realizes what she is doing. He grabs the bottom legs of the chair to pull her closer in. “Here” he says. The two guards act swiftly, but the young lady waves them down.

“What are you going to do? Try and rape me sitting here? I bet that just makes your blood boil and thicken. I bet you have SO much pent up rage that you are just waiting to bust out of here and attack someone. Such negativity is for cowards.” The young lady doesn’t remove her stare. She glares at him and he glares back.

The now man, 26 years old takes a moment of the truth she just fed to him. He isn’t sure how to respond. This conversation is not like the rest. He is taken off guard. He looks at her Bible and then he looks at her. His eyebrows start to wince, almost in pain.

The young lady notices and continues at this opportunity for breakthrough….

“You’re strong. So strong, by buying into your negative tendencies you’ve awarded yourself with countless allegations, countless acts of violence, hell you even awarded yourself with this stunning scenery. You’re so strong that you have been planning probably for quite some time, something to get back and feel your sense of confidence again. But, you know…you’re so weak that you chose to exert your strong character for violence. You’re so weak that you chose this lifestyle vs. using your strength for good. Damn. (she shakes her head, and removes her glasses, she leans in to a very attentive ear, she whispers) Your type of strength and given your hellacious childhood background, had you chosen a positive path focused on inspiring kids to stay off of drugs, or using yourself as an example of how to overcome adversity. That kind of passion could have inspired thousands….if not millions. You know you have a choice right Ted?”

The man began to weep. He wept, “No. No one ever told me I had a choice. I thought I was born this way, born into this life, born to be this type of man.”

The lady handed him the Bible, full of highlighted passages…. “Take it from me, I know your shoes. I’ve been where you stand. You have a choice. It’s all in here.”

The Naked Truth is: We are a Godless society.

My friend who is a criminologist spends a good majority of her time during Christmas finding volunteers to talk about God with prisoners. This probably was one of the most influential volunteer sessions I have ever been apart of, and it has forever changed my view on humanity.

Like I said….we’re all storytellers…and we all have scars….but where the compassion lies is in knowing we have a sick nation, and it is our duty to help with fearless non judgmental compassion.

-Nevaeh Marie-

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Be as you are.

“Just love life Nevaeh!”

This was the moment that began a course correction in my life. It was this single conversation that my mentor and I had in his office. It helped that he also was a long time friend & colleague who always struck me as “odd” because he was SO mother freaking happy all the time, eventually that happiness rubbed off on me. I was in this ridiculous (now it seems) bubble of negativity. At the time I was in 2 toxic relationships…I’ll eventually post on the importance of choosing and how to choose carefully the right people in your life, and how to gracefully excuse those who are causing you pain or toxicity. My boyfriend and best friend at the time were my entire world. I had such a problem with deflecting my own issues and my own self growth, that instead of working on myself, I ran in circles and offered help to these two people. This eventually sucked my soul dry.

“You are a free therapist. It’s causing you anguish and its causing you some major stress. You aren’t LIVING, but hell, you’ve gained quite a lot of karma!” He continued to tell me. “So Nevaeh, tell me, when will you start living?”

I remember shaking my head at him, and began laughing. I honestly didn’t know HOW to get out of the situation I volunteered myself in. In a way, I felt in debt to the two of them for reasons I still to this day I’m not sure of what or why for. 

“I’m terrified.” I looked up at him and with an honest sigh, “I don’t know if I can, if I deserve it.”

He looked at me shocked. “You are missing the point. Living life isn’t about deserving, it’s about identifying your calling, and that defines your search on your journey. I bet you can’t even answer what makes you happy because you are overly consumed by their drama you can’t even focus on your own to grow from!” He continued pointing his finger outside his beautiful office window overlooking all of LA, “You my dear, are meant for more. As your friend, as your business colleague, promise me you’ll accept this challenge for yourself.”

I looked up at him in desperation, I was hooked on every word he was saying because it resonated with my soul. It made sense.

“What is it?”

“Promise yourself to define living for YOU. Once you do, then be as you are.”

I left his office with a weight on my shoulder, it was heavy, but nothing like the burdens I’ve been carrying from these two people I loved so much.

I drove to Venice and stayed there alone for the weekend. I actively searched out LIFE. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know HOW to do it, I just promised myself I would be immersed in anything and everything that contained living.

I still remained in the situation I was in for another year, but it was Anthony who actively stayed on me, challenging me. He would text me, “Good morning beautiful friend! Go out and LIVE today! How are you living? What new discovery have you found?” Granted his old age helped me trust him and his wisdom, without these challenging texts I probably wouldn’t have done what I came to finally do.

Last year, I walked away from it all. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I was DRAINED. I lost respect for myself. Through this whole process, I developed a hatred. The hate for wasted time. It made my blood boil, thinking back on the time I spent as a therapist and not for myself. I fully participated in the halt of my own growth.

“I’m just so pissed!” 

He looked at me, shook his head, “You miss the point again. You didn’t waste time, you may have been overly involved in their lives which took away from your own growth, but you HAVE grown so much within the last year. Shall we review? You took several trips on your own for your own self discovery, you began writing, you began creating new ideas for new business ventures, you created a dynamic online portal for learning, you developed an amazing resource for women and their self esteem…you went through what you did for one reason. Perhaps, having a 3rd party look in your life is what you need, Nevaeh, you have now 2 years of experience under your belt to help even more people. You have multiplied your skills. You have developed skills that school would never have been able to teach you. You had the internship of Psychology in a real world setting. Be proud. Be excited! Now, you’re a certified life coach, now you have that power behind you to use and help change people’s perspectives and unlock their full potential in life. Wouldn’t you agree that defines you? The passion to help others. That IS you.

I was floored. So floored, I threw up. Laugh it up! Seriously, I threw up because I was disgusted with myself. I couldn’t see the perspective he saw, and that made me sick. How selfish I thought to myself, about myself. Hello humble pie. It taught me to step back, to look at different angles, because that is where life is defined.

Sometimes it takes another person who you trust, you value and who has years of wisdom because they too have gone through something similar, to pull you out of misery and directly in the sunshine of life.

Once you’re in that sunshine…its up to you to shine. It’s up to you to challenge yourself daily on how to overcome whatever it is you are going through by constantly stepping back after every attempt and re-configuring your approach. Overcoming pain is through positive thought, I don’t care what anyone says….the happiest people you come across in life, are happy and bubbly for the very reason that they can rest in the fact that staying positive is the key to life. 

Life, will ALWAYS be a struggle IF YOU ALLOW IT. Life is meant to be a singular journey. The part of life that gets beautiful, is to be able to share your experiences with one another. In a way, it’s advice for your journey to whatever destination that is.

For myself, I left. I didn’t look back. I still get messages and texts from them even after I expressed my very reasons for ending the relationship and friendship. It’s funny, its only then that truth hits home for people. I, however moved on much quicker than I expected for myself, because I took responsibility for my decisions, for my actions, and for my life. I no longer chose to hold myself back any longer. I walked away without hesitation, and I walked away with my head held high. I answered the question my mentor challenged me just a few years ago. I did the work. I did the searching. I accepted that this will be a lifelong journey, but the definition of MY life was clear as day.

January 2012 hit, and so did the truth of “Be as you are”.

I bought a train ticket, packed my bags for a writing retreat, and ventured to Los Angeles to meet my mentor prior. 

“You look lighter, happier!” He said to me with arms wide open.

“Yes…I feel free.” I remember gleaming from ear to ear my smile.

“And how do you feel?”

I relieved a huge sigh, dropped my bags, exhaled grabbed him in a huge hug and started to cry hysterically, “I feel like me, Anthony. I feel like me.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Some people have asked me especially in my practice, HOW I overcame what I went through. Some who have read my work, have emailed me in their own anguish anxiously searching for answers just as I was. So, here are some quick tips I’m happily offering up:

My golden rule: ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY for optimal growth

Do the work!

Materials: boxing gloves (for negative or defeated thoughts), positive attitude (as your power source) and provide your soul lots of room (set aside your freaking ego, accept the fact that you need to fall fully, in order to know how to pick yourself up).

1. Surround yourself with positive everything.

Each night I searched for a positive quote. Each morning I posted that positive quote on my Facebook. Each morning I emailed myself a love note with that positive quote, and by the end of the week (that Friday) I wrote about HOW I implemented that quote in my life, my trials.

2. Get a slice of humble pie. 

I started seeing a hypnotherapist in Orange County and started seeing a counselor who was a part of Saddleback Church. Both combinations had me exposed to people who were on drugs, overcoming alcohol addiction, who were homeless, who had no hope…and yet, they openly discussed their pains and showed their scars in our nightly circles. I walked away every meeting feeling more alive. For me, it took knowing what was really going on in our world, for me to understand that life is not “easy”, but that the hardest part, was thinking positively.

I took this exposure further and began to volunteer my time at shelters, at senior homes and gave back after each time I gained strength in ME. In a way, they helped heal me, and I them.

3. Find your outlet. (“Be as you are”)

I loved to write, I love music and I love art. So, what did I do? I combined the three. I took several trips to Balboa, LA and the South to experience all of it. I would plug-in my earphones, look at art and then, I’d find a bench and write.

A few months into this process, I started to feel this truth rising up in my gut. Hard to explain, but it’s where the “clear as day moment” happened. I sat across from a painting that reminded me of Oregon in all its green lush trees, beautiful crystal like lake views, and powder blue sky; I said out loud, “this is it.” At the time I didn’t know it would be now called MOTIVATEme. but that painting grew in my mind of thousand kids, teens, adults all resounding in unity…in love. Gaa…my hope for a peaceful nation.

and lastly 4. Love yourself.

This is when people say “Love yourself first and everything will fall into place” but for me personally, I couldn’t accept this UNTIL I applied the work for myself. It wouldn’t have made sense to me, I’m far too rational and analytically that when I tried thinking, “I love myself!” it I felt like I signed up for some hoaky bullshit where Barney would come popping out of every corner. If you can do that awesome, but personally I think doing the work first will allow you NATURALLY to arrive to loving yourself. I came to KNOW myself more through the work. I came to be KIND to myself more through the work. I came to IDENTIFY my weaknesses through the work, and I came to be INSPIRED through the work.

The work had me daily arrive to epiphanies that turned into new paths. Still to this day…I do the work.

What the sh!t?

“We sell fear!”

This was probably the most interesting endings I ever had to a sales day. I thought going to school that juggling modeling, promotional work, and working at a sales job that was rewarding in character (i.e. selling safety device to seniors) would be a great fit for the remainder of my 2012 career.

I was f*&(ing wrong!

What the shit happened to society today? What the shit happened to business today? What happened to feeling safe in an office environment, in a school environment even?

You know when you start a new job or even a project and you’re like super amped about it in the beginning. You’re wearing what I call “rose colored glasses” and little by little as the days go on in the endeavor, the glasses start to vanish. You start to see things differently. Clearly. I am ALL TOO FAMILIAR with this life rotation that I plan for it. It’s why I have always had multiple streams of income in order to weigh out just how retarded our society (speaking business standards) has become.

I went through 2 weeks of extensive training with an AMAZING trainer. She was so patient with a class of 12 really random individuals, and she was very fun to learn from. She reminded me of one of my school teachers in High School, someone who I could connect with and felt empowered by. So, I was naturally excited to graduate from training and finally get on the sales floor and help saving lives one phone call at a time.

The first day, we met the supervisor.

She was a bitch.

If you know me, it takes a hell of a lot for me to say that or call someone that. I literally have no other words to describe such a poor attitude in a woman. What was so sad though, was she is so pretty, and the moment she opened her mouth it was Jersey Shore trash…you know the typical Jersey Shore where she thought her own shit didn’t stink. This was my first what the shit moment.

Not even an hour into sales and talking to some awesome seniors on the phone, she pulls me aside.

“You are too nice.” She says.

That was my second what the shit moment.

The glasses were slowly coming off my face.

There I was sitting in my cubicle (fuck, when did I get in a cubicle again from having my own in home office to now a mother fucking cubicle!), and this instant message pops up on my computer.

The instant message is full of wink faces and small talk. I look to see who it is, and sure enough it’s the creeper supervisor whose been eyeballing my shit.

That was the third what the shit moment.

I scratched the side of my right temple contemplating how or if I should respond. Each second I kept thinking, more wink face emoticons were coming through the instant message, as if they were poking me on the forehead.

Finally I responded with something work related and ended the conversation. He continued to blabber on about how “cool” my name is. What the fuck ever guy.

Every single time I got up to use the restroom…the entire sales floor complete with about 30+ men and about 2 girls, all stared. Occasionally would interject my walking and asked if I needed anything, how my day was, etc. In the beginning I thought, “How nice everyone is!” thanks to those rose stupid colored mother fucking glasses…and then boom…

They decided to fall off.

“Everyone you sell FEAR here! If they aren’t full of fear on the phone, they won’t buy from you! Remember, if they say they are fixed income, those seniors are lying to you!”

Then…my heart dropped. It literally sunk so far deep into my gut I grew physically ill.

I thought of every person I talk to, deal with as if they are my own family, my own friend. Even when I had my own business, I believed  in and still do, on building value through quality work, through quality customer service, through proper rapport building.

I left without saying goodbye, and I didn’t look back.

I got home…dropped my bags at my feet in my room…and then I started crying. I let it out.

I threw up.

All of the words this supervisor bitch was saying and has said to me which I didn’t even fully cover because it would make you sick too, fled through my mind.

I am a very rational person. I take everything that happens as a reason. I thought about one thing specifically she said, “What are you, like mid 20’s, a damn model and you probably never owned a business in your lifetime, at your age I was making like thousands of dollars a month, had two kids, and maybe you just don’t feel accomplished yet for whatever reason….” and went on and on…I started to feel small. I thought…THIS IS WHAT KIDS FEEL IN SCHOOL TODAY.

Sometimes…situations in life like this are what you are faced with…where the reality of life is, High School just never ends.

I did end up reporting this incident…and quickly fled this company.

It put things in perspective for my life….and I hope you take this piece of advice.

Do not chase money.

Do not compromise YOUR HAPPINESS.

Do not at any circumstances allow someone negative to come into your space and fuck it up.

This is YOUR life.

A friend of mine asked me, “There are no perfect jobs out there Nevaeh, why didn’t you just stay and deal?”

My response…”Because I am not a part of the herd.I beat to my own drum. That drumbeat…is living a positive life. I don’t tolerate anything less.”

I admit…fuck…I’m human…money has always been something that came easily to me. However, the lesson learned here is motivation.

My Dad text me, “Hi honey….how are you doing today?”

My Mom emailed me with a title “SMILE” and said something brilliant which made my What the Shit moment, a moment of clarity, she asked,  “Maybe this experience for you was only about more motivation to drive you forward?”

This was the moment I meditated on the fact that I was learning a big life lesson. I was gaining…what my Dad called, “wisdom”. This taught me something about myself…the fire and ignition and passion for activism, for humanitarianism, and for social change was flooding through my veins.

I feel empowered, focused and comfortable with this change that I’ve been talking about doing for the last several months but begrudgingly never wanted to actually do.

Here I am….

I surrender.

“At times…we face the “WHAT THE SHIT” moments to face our inner fears….to face who we are currently to face that we still need to grow and make new changes to become what we desire to be. Be open to growth…and the universe will respond to your every desire. I know…because I’m living it now.”

 

“UBUNTU” I am…because WE are.

Image“An anthropologist proposed a game to children in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the children that whoever got there first won the sweet fruits. When he told them to run, they all took each other’s hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats.

When he asked them why they had run like that when one could have had all the fruits for himself, they said, ‘UBUNTU, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?’ (‘UBUNTU’ in the Xhosa culture means: ‘I am because we are.)” – Excerpt posted from Success Nation

I was very moved by this post for many reasons. What attracted me to the post first was the photo. I’m very intrigued by cultural photos. They make me feel engaged toward my curiosity to want to understand what other societies are doing. I get emotionally invested in understanding what their beliefs are and how they live. I’m fascinated because, like most American’s, I want to define happiness for myself. In America, our happiness is not appreciated because it’s sold through various means of propaganda. Whereas other cultures teach that happiness is a state of living.

The road to happiness is a culmination of focusing on compassion, gratitude and a constant open heart for love. I asked myself how I would go about building this for myself, if indeed happiness is a state of living. What does that road look like?

That road for me came in the form of MOTIVATEme.

MOTIVATEme. is a non-profit organization that focuses on positive social change. MOTIVATEme. is built from a dream of developing a new society, one in which builds up people vs. tearing them down. A society in which dreams are cultivated and nourished, where endless resources are at the fingertips of change-makers so that positive social change will be in constant movement.

Photo courtsey of 123RF.com

Why this road for me? I have found that America has turned into a negative, fearful and fragile land. This causes each individual to mimic the same emotions, which are personified daily through our actions. That means, daily we infect each other with either positive or negative vibes. Consider this thought, what if you were only exposed to a reality that enforced positivity? How would you live? Would it be different? America was once named the land of opportunity, now she should be renamed and known for her debt and lack of happiness per capita.

My passion is derived from personal experience; being told that my dream for social change, for being a writer, for inspiring others is a dream that I’d continue to chase and never achieve, for the rest of my life. I was told, by several people, that the desire to transform society through positivity is an unobtainable goal.

Photo courtsey of 123RF.com

In my line of work, I am a life coach. I work with a variety of individuals. Some are business owners of large companies, others are single mothers or college students, all of which share one common goal; to identify their true passions and then motivate them to come alive. The work I do is very rewarding. I connect with each person I work with through understanding the root of their lack of drive. I find their passions in one territory through sharing stories of different perspectives. This helps launch one to a new vantage point in their life; creating inspirational and motivational course change.

I always loved the famous Gandhi quote “my life is my message.” I meditated on this idea of a new society and pursued MOTIVATEme. and just as I did, I was exposed to UBUNTU.

I am successful….because WE ARE.

I am confident…because WE ARE.

I am positive….because WE ARE.

I am___________……..because WE ARE. (Fill in the blank).

I started to see everything in my life differently. My life started to change as I gained a new perspective of oneness. I witnessed that oneness that UBUNTU is, through those involved in MOTIVATEme. It is a growing community who are tired of living in a society who fends for themselves. They are tired of living in negativity. They practice unity and positivity.

In order for society to be revived, we must first remove competition from one another.

At the end of the day, we are all fighting for our lives. Fighting essentially for the way we believe them to be. We spend time hoping and creating an expectation that always fails; instead of being grateful and letting go. We are in search of oneness because of how cold society has become. We compete with one another, instead of including each other in happiness, in joy and in love. When we include each other, and we run hand in hand just as the UBUNTU saying describes, we empower each other. It is the quickest charge back to life. It is the quickest surge that ignites motivation, inspiration and compassion inside you.

It is a power that provides solid peace.

I knew when I pursued MOTIVATEme. it was because I desire to see UBUNTU throughout my life. I wanted that for the world.

My happiness is in UBUNTU.

http://lipstickandpolitics.com/empower/8356

Wake up….and LIVE!

 I am embarking on a huge change in my life right now.

I know this has been the premise for me for the last few months, but to finally see action in the making of my “life” I can’t help but stop…and appreciate all the wonderful changes happening.

Recently, I made the decision of after being involved in business for over 10 years, to walk away and pursue health and fitness, a career venture I got my feet wet in with working with Jenny Craig.

I am ELATED! I cannot stop smiling from ear to ear with my decision. However, like all decisions when you walk away from something you know so much about and into an arena you are a beginner at, it is scary.

I am NOT by any means a fitness nut or a fitness model. I have only an interest in helping people achieve a healthy weight and healthy results. I like being in the best shape my body can be, it provides me the opportunity to do so much more athletically.

It’s weird for me this weekend to go shopping for gym attire, and not so much for office attire. It’s an interesting transition purchasing protein and egg whites and not so much on makeup and hair accessories. It is indeed a total life transformation.

I wrestled with this idea for about 3 months. I’m not much for wasting time, and I’m not much for one on NOT making a decision. However, I needed a moment to sit down with myself, and truly meditate on this idea.

Last week, I sat by the beach alone and thought, “5 years from now…am I smiling if I stayed in business…if I stayed doing exactly what I am doing now and advancing in my career?” The answer was clear as day…NO.

I looked at that answer in my mind with great intent to find out if this is in fact how my heart, how my soul, how my entire being felt. It was a perfect moment, where the sun was going down…and the thought of a life in fitness and health IS in fact what I saw myself doing.

I need out. “I cannot confine myself into an office” I thought, I’m way too much of a busy body to get going. Everytime I get into my office, I cringe. This feeling has been going on after I left Jenny Craig and right smack back into an office position. I felt trapped. Helpless. CONFINED INTO WHAT SOCIETY SAYS I SHOULD DO.

Neither should you.

What is your dream? You know you have one….that you’ve consistently pushed aside from pursuing.

This last week felt like a building momentum to have me reach this moment of clarity and to ACT on the clarity.

I read a blog by http://whatsupsmiley.com/2012/08/08/you-have-to-start-somewhere-so-how-about-right-now/ which empowered me to take action. I also watched, http://www.knowledgeoftoday.org/2012/03/thought-definition-life-energy-power.html?m=1&fb_source=message which is a video on the power of thought and on thought creation. In addition I decided to call the National Academy of Sports Medicine and am on my way to being a Certified Personal Trainer and focusing on Sport Conditioning & Weight Loss Management. I haven’t been so empowered by an inspired thought in my life.

I am thrilled to be taking on this experience, choosing and deciding that LIFE IS TOO SHORT…and that I want to LIVE my LIFE.

A good quote and methodical approach to living is by Dale Carnegie when he talks about living in day tight compartments. What he means is to live literally moment by moment. Whatever happens in your day that is all you focus on. Often, we get caught up in the “what’s happening tomorrow” in our days, or worrying over something that hasn’t come to fruition yet.  Take a look at your current working conditions. You spend 8 some of us more than 8 hours a day here. Are you happy? Are you more stressed? What is it doing to you physically, emotionally? Put these things in perspective….

This week has been one of the most awakening weeks I’ve had in years. I am so thankful to have an amazing boyfriend who literally is happy all the time, he inspires me to look at life with an appreciative and grateful eye. From the way the sun shines, to how it sets. To the way I interact with people, creating loving new relationships. Appreciation….is something so often we neglect.

In the words of Bob Marley…”Life is one big road with lots of signs. Don’t COMPLICATE your MIND. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, PUT YOUR VISION TO REALITY. Wake up and Live!”

❤ Nevaeh

 

MOTIVATEme.: Lowering the obesity rate pt1

Let me ask you something….

When was the last time YOU were outraged by something you saw or heard about regarding our society?

I’m sure some of you have a collection of responses from the Aurora shootings, to 9/11 discussions, to maybe some shocking tragic news that have hit your local town.

For me, THIS shocks me.

I used to work at Jenny Craig some almost year and a half ago. One of the best experiences I had yet in my career. I met some AMAZING people both in the field and also as my colleagues. The one common thread we all shared was providing educational support to those in need of weight loss.

Though a gratifying day in and day out job it was….it began to weigh heavy in my heart that we weren’t able to physically be with these people. Everything was over the telephone. Which is why I decided to pursue personal training to BE with people. There is something more impactful about sitting down with someone, and being with them as they go through motivational change. Personally, in the line of work I have done whether it was career advising or counseling it was always best in person vs. over the phone.

I had a conversation with a 400lbs woman during one of the calls I had. I spent exactly 42 minutes on the call before I got an instant message for me to “hurry my call up”. I remember thinking to myself, “is THIS what America has come to? That help has a dollar and time limit attached to it?” Our goal was to sign up as many memberships as possible, but with someone struggling with obesity, I truly believe this is a whole different approach. I spent another 30 minutes with her on the call on purpose. I told her to email me weekly, something that we shouldn’t do…and every week I got an email from her. Every week she told me how motivated she was by the call I had with her, how I put things in constant perspective for her. Eventually, she couldn’t afford the program…as do all who suffer obesity say, even those like myself who weren’t obese, but didn’t want to transition away from fast food, the famous excuse of “health food is expensive“. Newsflash….its actually not when you know what your body NEEDS & your health….is worth every penny.

If you know someone suffering from obesity like I do, then you know what it is like to be around them. It sickens me. It IS a mental disease whether you want to classify obesity as that or not.

America needs to wake up and know the facts about obesity and how it is the “new cancer infecting America”.

Let me put it this way….I’ll use a common example:

1 Single Mother has 3 kids….

This mother is about 50 lbs overweight…and her foods of choice are fast foods because she is “too busy” to make meals at home.

The mother provides her 3 kids for school money to purchase meals.
(Breakfast, Lunch and a snack at school)

The mother picks up kids and for dinner they have their choice of KFC, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut you name it they have “choices”.

The mother finds this helpful to drive thru and save time and energy on her already chaotic day.

The mother feeds herself something from the place her kids choose.

Within a few months, the mother gains approximately 1/2-1lb per week due to this diet. Depending on her daily activities she rarely burns the calories from the previous meals. Not to mention these “meals” are full of CRAP, and there is really little nutritional value and more high cholesterol & fats.

In addition, her kids have spent the day purchasing items from the school cafeteria. Do you know what schools offer? Ever heard your child, or your sibling say “Yes! It’s McDonalds Wednesday!” or “KFC Friday!” You got it….our American diet continues even into your traditional public schools.

Here is a comment from the CDC this year, (Yes the CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION in case you still don’t think this is a disease) “No state has met the nation’s Healthy People 2010External Web Site Icon goal to lower obesity prevalence to 15%. The number of states with an obesity prevalence of 30% or more has increased to 12 states in 2010. In 2009, nine states had obesity rates of 30% or more. In 2000, no state had an obesity prevalence of 30% or more.”

If that isn’t shocking you….take another look at the photo above and tell me that we don’t have a UNIVERSAL problem? How is it that we in America are over consumers and yet we still find a hard time filling the gap and owning the responsibility to give back to those in need? No wonder we are nicknamed the selfish nation.

Let’s continue….the CDC also released this statement in regards to the 2008 results: “In 2008, medical costs associated with obesity were estimated at $147 billion; the medical costs paid by third-party payors for people who are obese were $1,429 higher than those of normal weight.”

It’s TIME FOR CHANGE.

I have been wrestling with a decision that’s laid rested upon my heart for years. All I knew is, I wanted to help people. I tried various jobs in community service, health, business, advisory programs, you name a motivational program, I’ve most likely delved into it…only to find that I was still “searching” for that “perfect” career.

Thanks to yesterday, of being slam dunked in the face by POSITIVELY POSITIVE sharing on quantum physics how science has proven that we as a nation can in fact change the world with our thoughts, a few bloggers who are on a transitional period in their lives quitting their jobs and doing something to change the world, and being surrounded by friends of mine who are BOLDLY going after changing the world in the political realm, have helped me to reach my own verdict.

MOTIVATEme. is more than just a dream to me. It’s a need for social change.

I invite you…I invite anyone you know to GET INVOLVED whether it’s in your town, or with us here in sunny San Diego.

We need you.

My main focus out of the division is to affect national change first within lowering the obesity rates. My second main focus is to make a universal change fixating on initiatives we as America can help our world. Remove the “country lines” and look at the world as a whole of PEOPLE. We have a responsibility…to be the change we wish to SEE IN THE WORLD.

I am so excited for this change…so excited to move forward.

Health is a lifestyle now in America…

If this is a cause you want to get in on, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE, I want to hear your thoughts and partner up to make this needed difference. Our team is growing and the excitement is killing me inside to get this launched and going full steam ahead!

Our first fundraising opportunity will be backed by Jamba Juice. More information to come…

Please email nevaehmariemorgan23@gmail.com with your name & contact info to be added in the circulation.

10 Ways to Happiness

 ” For every day there is sunshine there will be days of rain. It’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.”

This morning on our life coaching mentorship call, we discussed ways to pick ourselves up, and how to help motivate clients in this regard. To be honest, I have made it a testament and a personal goal to continuously fine tune my top 10 ways to happiness. It’s not only worked for myself, but for my clients as well…so I thought I’d share, and of course in no particular order!

1. Practice Compassion

Every one of us is in need of compassion. Sometimes when I have a bad day (yes they happen), something as simple as a hug cures me. That’s my idea of compassion. Other people respond to being listened to, and being UNDERSTOOD & HEARD. You’ll find that this mode of helping someone else, not only takes away from whatever it is you are feeling crappy about, but also helps you feel less alone which feeling crappy has a tendency to make us feel….even more crappy! So get yourself to call someone, text someone, email, and just say…”I’m here for you…I’m not sure if you know that but I am!” The response you’ll get will be more than you could have imagined.

What this does for you: It acts as a way to feel grateful for your current circumstances, allows you to feel not alone and involving yourself in someones life to HELP them, will only give you back exactly what you need…compassion.

2. Find YOUR Passion

Most of the time we’ve grown up with households whose parents have distinguished WHAT we will be passionate for until we are older and figure it’s OUR own desires that lead that. Fortunately, this is a stream that is slowly moving towards self involvement. Find something YOU love to do, and YOUR life will become immensely improved.

What this does for you: Finding YOUR passion will allow you to gain ownership for your life instantly. Half the reason we feel crappy instead of happy is a downward shift in our decisions. If you look at your life you could correlate that your mood could be a result of a recent decision, or not being in line with doing more of what YOU love.

3. Exercise- DAILY!

I’m such a bad example for this, but I have been working vigorously at making this a habit in my life. I actually just started to surround myself with people I can walk with on my lunch break, taking our dog on a walk, going on hikes, etc. I HATE just running on a treadmill, and I do not do well with some boot camp instructor yelling at me to get my ass up. I have found that doing something active for at least 30 minutes a day, helps me feel rejuvenated and HAPPY!

What this does for you: endorphins make you happy. Not to mention, looking good = feeling good.

4. Eat Healthy – DAILY!

I used to eat fast food daily. I don’t know how I didn’t gain about 100 extra pounds, but I constantly felt tired and weighed down. Now, I eat healthy daily and when I don’t I can definitely see a difference in my mood and my appearance. Start searching healthy recipes and begin creating your own creations. Most of my meals are semi-homemade and mostly pastas and soups for dinner, and tuna and yummy hearty sandwiches and salads for lunch.

What this does for you: Energizes you which = happiness

5. Meditate

Okay I may be a mentor and a life coach but I certainly am not a meditative expert. Most of my clients are high stress, worrying over finances and if their company is closing (unfortunately this is the reality of business in todays age). I practice breathing exercises with them as a form of “meditation”. It helps….there are tons of online resources, or you could start by taking just 5 minutes out of your day to sit in your office with (my preference SPA RADIO on Pandora) and zone out. I imagine myself in the wilderness surrounded by lush green trees, the sound of a lake nearby, and birds chirping with the sun shining down on me.

What this does for you: Relaxes your brain so you can begin to feel rational in your decisions and in your emotions.

6. Finance

The F word everyone hates. In all seriousness, as much as I hate looking at my finances (aka medical bills), at the end of pulling teeth it feels better knowing where my funds are at. I use a basic excel spreadsheet, and sometimes writing it out in my journal that I keep in my purse helps me too. As a small tip if you are a shopaholic like I tend to be, take out cash from your account and allow that to be your “allowance” for the week. When I started doing this, I was AMAZED at how much little crap I was spending. Everytime I went to fill up my tank I would buy bubble gum or an iced coffee, at the end of the month my total was $140.00 extra in little shit. Seriously…look closely…the $2-$5 bucks you spend add up.

What this does for you: Financial issues is one of the LEADING causes of stress in America. Why do you think we have so many shows and books on managing finances? However, once you take the time (20 minutes) to dedicate to learning about your financial situation, you’ll feel more confident and less stressed…which equates to more freed moments to happiness.

7. Emotional Balance

Even though this is the field of work I am in, doesn’t mean I still have to remind myself just HOW to be emotionally balanced too. Typically every month I get thrown off my rocker. My boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I’m easily shifted back into asking myself if I am being irrational and “emotional”. Here’s the thing…EVERYONE gets bent out of shape from time to time. It’s called life. However, when we are emotionally imbalanced, we leave more room for all the pain bodies to attack us. Think of ourselves as a cup that constantly needs to be filled with water, and that oil represents the pain and emotional crap we feel. They don’t mesh well..in fact oil will just sit on top of water making you feel bogged down leaving absolutely no room for happiness. Some of us keep filling our cups with oil, and eventually that oil oozes out into other areas of our life affecting anyone who comes in contact with us. It’s IMPORTANT to check yourself.

What this does for you: Allows you to take a moment to self reflect on WHERE you are at. WHY you are feeling the way you do. All 10 steps are designed to interconnect with one another that will help alleviate stress and anxiety to fill your cup with only water.

#8. Simplify your Life

I am a type of person to act before I think. That means at the end of my work week I probably have diverted away from my projects and added new projects because I go where the action is. This is something I am trying to correct. We all have something we are working on. Though this is viewed as something positive to always have things on your plate, when you begin to spread yourself too thin, you create stress.

What this does for you: By subtracting some out of your life means that you’ve established priority. It doesn’t mean you won’t work on it again, it’s all about timing. What is present is most important.

#9. Gratitude

Every month I send out gratitude letters to previous clients, friends, family and acquaintances. When was the last time someone told you how awesome you are, thanked you for something you did or just thanked you for being in their life? We spend more time self involved…than we do involved in others’ lives. Perhaps being a mentor has taught me the importance of a simple question of “how are you?” could lead to an inspiring action. Give thanks…and thanks will be returned back to you.

What this does for you: Fills you up! When you are grateful…the world responds to your gratitude. If your life doesn’t light up by this…then your heart is overly invested in yourself. Remember, balance is key.

#10. Add in Fun

No brainer I know…but here’s the kicker…some of us have way too much fun and that also causes issues with happiness. When you are 70% fun and 30% productive, you begin to feel when you least expect it (most of the time it’s when you are alone), the inadequacy and instability. If you don’t feel this, you are in a delusional state and should contemplate where you’re real passions lie. I’m talking about those of you in our society that tend to party as if it’s your f%^&*ng job. Sorry…but you aren’t an MTV tycoon or a celebrity.

I have a list of things I write out every three months of things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make ME happy. I have a 1. Something outdoors, 2. Something random and 3. Something I fear. Adding in fun is trying new things…that immediately brings you joy.

What this does for you: This is the best way to grow and affect inspiration inside of you. There are thousands of things to do, I guarantee you haven’t even thought outside the box. My something news lately are: Surfing, a random road trip out to Arizona for literally 1 night, roaming naked under the stars in absolutely BFE and making new friends within groups I rarely would ever consider approaching.

Here’s a challenge…get rid of the oil…and add in more water. Oil and water aren’t meant to mix…Incubus got it right. So admit it, and fix it. Only YOU have the power to cultivate and motivate change.