Judgement Day.

Okay if you REALLY believe the world is going to end tomorrow, keep in mind that tomorrow 12/21 has already hit other countries. So hooray!

Now that’s addressed, onto the more important topic. Compassion.

In my latest research with Mr. Fogg from Stanford University (we’re in the process of understanding tiny habits), I have found 1 common thought that kept popping up in my mind. “Why are we not downloading the habit of acts of compassion?”

“Shit!” I thought, I am no Mother Teresa where compassion is second nature to me, and I know I am hard on myself as it is. I TRUST in realism. I TRUST in the facts. The other day, as I was retraining my habits to implement new tiny habits, I thought what the hell, I’ll add in the random act of compassion.

One of my clients made stationary, and I shared an idea with her to help bring in new business. I took this idea and I personalized it. At the end of the month on Thursday I send out a note to 3 people I want to personally thank them for who they are and also uplift them. Life happens and bad things happen, so do good things, and I felt it’s one of the most unexpected act of compassion that I could provide to those in my life. I wanted to purposefully seek out those who I normally wouldn’t thank. I shared this with my organization MOTIVATEme. in hopes that this sort of compassion will spread.

It did.

Then….

 

I started to sense that there is a certain frequency in our world.

Hang in there with me, I know this sounds crazy!

I’ve been “sensing” frequency ever since I overcame depression, drug addiction and cancer. Woo Hoo triple whammy!

I never was one for the ole “I had a near death experience and it makes me sensitive to situations” but I guess it does. I have an uncanny ability to feel and sense my surroundings. I feel so much that I had to train myself to stop feeling to a certain degree just to get a handle on my emotions. (I did have a trained mentor for this process)

Some people have called it intuition. I don’t know what the definition is, but I am damn happy to be able to have it for positive use.

So, my “feeling” of frequency lately is the reason why we lack so much compassion in this world, it is the feeling of competition…aka judgement.

I started to look around. I started to listen closely to HOW people were responding. HOW people were closing up and not talking or sharing. HOW people started to get angry over other peoples opinions, just because their own opinions were lacking exultation.  There is a healthy competition and a healthy way to share ideas and share opinions, but in the air as of lately, i’ll be blunt, it sounds more like children arguing in a sandbox. The “I know, you don’t need to tell me, I get it” or I heard this yesterday, “What, how can you not believe the way I do?! Who are you?!” (In reference to a television show. The extreme “frequency” response of competition. See what I mean?)

Let me sharpen the scope even more for you.

Take the very gruesome act of the Sandy shooting. It makes me sick to know there are people like this in this world. However, how are we a society who is broken, handling this? Are we REALLY handling it or are we competing with the hate towards this act? Are we competing with how sad so and so is vs so and so over this act? Maybe I see and hear a different sensation on social media and discussions around me. But, the naked truth is that the issue is much larger than a “madman”:

So, how do we fix this?

I have witnessed more change in people’s lives who are going down a wrong path, myself included, through compassionate storytelling. Everyone is a storyteller. Everyone knows someone or some situation that has changed the outlook of your life and in turn it can help change the outlook of another persons life.

I think about these “mad men” who give in to their negative thoughts so far so deep they no longer remember humanity.

Consider this story….

A little boy who grows up being raised to wake up and hand Mommy her morning needle. His Mom is a stripper and a heroin addict. He has to learn how to make his own lunch, help his brothers and sisters get ready for school. He feeds everyone dinner. He tucks the kids to bed, and stays awake doing homework waiting for his Mom to come home, hopefully alive. The young boy spends the following 16 years of his life helping & worrying over his Mom. He had to grow up never knowing his father, and yet somehow, have to figure out how to be Daddy and a son. He had to learn how to walk away from fights on his own when kids would tease him for having a “Mom who is a drugged up slut”. But, the teasing continued. Since he was a kid all he knows about life is drug addiction and loneliness.  All he knows is that society will judge him because other people find his family  “lowly” and uneducated. He continues to grow up believing just as they do and begins to create the habit of believing he is “lowly” too. He refuses to ask for help. Instead, he lets the loneliness turn to bitterness through his adolescent life…and over time that bitterness turns to rage. At 20 years old, his mother dies of a drug overdose and the rage sets in and he begins to fight back. He starts searching for the kids who teased him as a child, who called his mother a slut. He uses the anger, the pain and the loneliness to fuel his darkest thoughts. He uses the loneliness as a reminder that no one will listen to him, that YES THIS IS ME I AM LOWLY resonates loudly in his ears, like a mantra. He spends the next 3 years of his life in and out of jail for fighting. He loses contact of his brothers and sisters who helped raise to be wonderful beings. He then loses contact with himself. He begins to think that he should find these people, kill them, and commit suicide. He feels fed up. He feels angry, and he knows his targets. They are rich, they are happy and they won’t see it coming. He starts to contemplate this idea seriously for the next 3 years while still incarcerated for rape.

At 26 years old he sits in his cell looking at the photos of the 5 kids who used to tease him, these are his targets. His face is full of no expression. His face is fearless. His eyes were black. He was a man who has gone mad. A young lady walks in to his cell, a Bible in her hand. He shakes his head looking at her up and down in approval of her beauty. He nods her over to sit in front of his cell, welcoming the hilarious conversation of “biblical chat” he was used to. She stood her ground. Firm as can be, she sat directly in front of his cell. Two guards were behind her with their arms folded behind them in a Military stance. She sits within reaching distance of him, as a silent way of saying, “I’m not afraid of you. I want to understand you.” He chuckles as soon as he realizes what she is doing. He grabs the bottom legs of the chair to pull her closer in. “Here” he says. The two guards act swiftly, but the young lady waves them down.

“What are you going to do? Try and rape me sitting here? I bet that just makes your blood boil and thicken. I bet you have SO much pent up rage that you are just waiting to bust out of here and attack someone. Such negativity is for cowards.” The young lady doesn’t remove her stare. She glares at him and he glares back.

The now man, 26 years old takes a moment of the truth she just fed to him. He isn’t sure how to respond. This conversation is not like the rest. He is taken off guard. He looks at her Bible and then he looks at her. His eyebrows start to wince, almost in pain.

The young lady notices and continues at this opportunity for breakthrough….

“You’re strong. So strong, by buying into your negative tendencies you’ve awarded yourself with countless allegations, countless acts of violence, hell you even awarded yourself with this stunning scenery. You’re so strong that you have been planning probably for quite some time, something to get back and feel your sense of confidence again. But, you know…you’re so weak that you chose to exert your strong character for violence. You’re so weak that you chose this lifestyle vs. using your strength for good. Damn. (she shakes her head, and removes her glasses, she leans in to a very attentive ear, she whispers) Your type of strength and given your hellacious childhood background, had you chosen a positive path focused on inspiring kids to stay off of drugs, or using yourself as an example of how to overcome adversity. That kind of passion could have inspired thousands….if not millions. You know you have a choice right Ted?”

The man began to weep. He wept, “No. No one ever told me I had a choice. I thought I was born this way, born into this life, born to be this type of man.”

The lady handed him the Bible, full of highlighted passages…. “Take it from me, I know your shoes. I’ve been where you stand. You have a choice. It’s all in here.”

The Naked Truth is: We are a Godless society.

My friend who is a criminologist spends a good majority of her time during Christmas finding volunteers to talk about God with prisoners. This probably was one of the most influential volunteer sessions I have ever been apart of, and it has forever changed my view on humanity.

Like I said….we’re all storytellers…and we all have scars….but where the compassion lies is in knowing we have a sick nation, and it is our duty to help with fearless non judgmental compassion.

-Nevaeh Marie-

Advertisements

What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?

Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

“Drink more water!”

I recently have been diagnosed with Cluster Headaches…and if you’ve been following my posts or are a friend of mine you have been in the know of the frustrating last few weeks I’ve had trying to deal with this. Yesterday, I had a breakthrough…after being hospitalized in the ER, gone through 4 different doctors who all had no clue what I was dealing with, and finally out to a referral that specialized in my condition I was granted an answer.

Sitting there in the patient room for a whopping 45 minutes waiting on test results on what the hell was going on with these “suicide headaches” (yes they are nicknamed that!), I was actually praying to God for the first time in years to just give me an answer. I was fidgeting, playing with the instruments in my room as my doctor came in. He looked like he was 90 years old, and my heart just immediately dropped. If you think doctors that are old are not that great at providing you with some great medical findings, think not! He was not only thorough but spoke to me like I was his own grandchild.

In the midst of our chatter about my 13 hour headaches, and pain management discussion. He said in a shout, “Drink more water!”

I was so confused! That is my answer? Percacet, Imititrex and to drink more water? WTF!

He came about eye to eye with me, hunch back and all and said, “Did you know if your body is lacking water, that will bring on headaches…sometimes even stress, and often times rob you from your very spunky energetic personality” I gasped! “MY energy is being robbed because of lack of water?!”

I couldn’t even comprehend something so simple could fix such a “headache” in my life. I have lost my energy, thinking it was due to my headaches or maybe even overworking myself…but never did I even consider it was water.

After leaving the doctors, I talked to my boyfriend about it, who of course is the picture of health and rattled onto me how much water benefits him. I couldn’t contain myself from rolling my eyes. I then got a call from one of the motivational life coaches I work with, and filled her in on the details. She too ranted on and on about the effects water has on your system.

How could all these years I was left in the dark for some basic necessity I need?

This got me thinking about how many others with a similar condition didn’t know about water’s magical affects, and then…I started thinking how I will apply this to my life.

Water is a basic necessity in life right? Wouldn’t you agree that having a positive attitude is too?

Being positive, and having that energy though basic, is a NEED in my life. I equated that with water. I was missing the positivity in my life for many years, I was yes one of the “nay sayers” and the “negative nancy’s” of our world…until I came across a fundamental truth…just like I did with water.

It seemed as though everyone I came in contact during that time, knew that being positive was the OBVIOUS answer to life…but me.

So, yesterday…all I did was drink water.

I drank water EVERY single time a negative thought would pop into my head as a reminder to change my thought process. Yes, even with a positive mind you still do get doubt, and negative thoughts…being positive is a constant training of our minds. It’s a necessary duty for what our minds are exposed to in this world, to protect our positivity. It is so important to recognize that, so we don’t rob ourselves from the energy we should have.

Yesterday, I lost count after 47, and I had to pee every 5 seconds…but it was worth it.

Not only did my body feel instantly better, but my mind did too.

This morning, I woke up thinking about how happy I am…what I am grateful for…and to be honest, sometimes I have wavered from positive training and introspection just because life does get busy. Now…each time I drink water…I am working on transformative thought…and cultivating new ideas & affirmations again. My almost 3 week death, has finally gotten me revived and alive

My headaches are still there…but it lasted 30 minutes vs. 13 hours…

Just as so, negative thoughts will still be there…but at least they diminish when you take notice…

The doctor was right…just what I needed as a prescription…is to drink more water.

Try this test…see how many times YOU think negatively or have self doubt…