Judgement Day.

Okay if you REALLY believe the world is going to end tomorrow, keep in mind that tomorrow 12/21 has already hit other countries. So hooray!

Now that’s addressed, onto the more important topic. Compassion.

In my latest research with Mr. Fogg from Stanford University (we’re in the process of understanding tiny habits), I have found 1 common thought that kept popping up in my mind. “Why are we not downloading the habit of acts of compassion?”

“Shit!” I thought, I am no Mother Teresa where compassion is second nature to me, and I know I am hard on myself as it is. I TRUST in realism. I TRUST in the facts. The other day, as I was retraining my habits to implement new tiny habits, I thought what the hell, I’ll add in the random act of compassion.

One of my clients made stationary, and I shared an idea with her to help bring in new business. I took this idea and I personalized it. At the end of the month on Thursday I send out a note to 3 people I want to personally thank them for who they are and also uplift them. Life happens and bad things happen, so do good things, and I felt it’s one of the most unexpected act of compassion that I could provide to those in my life. I wanted to purposefully seek out those who I normally wouldn’t thank. I shared this with my organization MOTIVATEme. in hopes that this sort of compassion will spread.

It did.

Then….

 

I started to sense that there is a certain frequency in our world.

Hang in there with me, I know this sounds crazy!

I’ve been “sensing” frequency ever since I overcame depression, drug addiction and cancer. Woo Hoo triple whammy!

I never was one for the ole “I had a near death experience and it makes me sensitive to situations” but I guess it does. I have an uncanny ability to feel and sense my surroundings. I feel so much that I had to train myself to stop feeling to a certain degree just to get a handle on my emotions. (I did have a trained mentor for this process)

Some people have called it intuition. I don’t know what the definition is, but I am damn happy to be able to have it for positive use.

So, my “feeling” of frequency lately is the reason why we lack so much compassion in this world, it is the feeling of competition…aka judgement.

I started to look around. I started to listen closely to HOW people were responding. HOW people were closing up and not talking or sharing. HOW people started to get angry over other peoples opinions, just because their own opinions were lacking exultation.  There is a healthy competition and a healthy way to share ideas and share opinions, but in the air as of lately, i’ll be blunt, it sounds more like children arguing in a sandbox. The “I know, you don’t need to tell me, I get it” or I heard this yesterday, “What, how can you not believe the way I do?! Who are you?!” (In reference to a television show. The extreme “frequency” response of competition. See what I mean?)

Let me sharpen the scope even more for you.

Take the very gruesome act of the Sandy shooting. It makes me sick to know there are people like this in this world. However, how are we a society who is broken, handling this? Are we REALLY handling it or are we competing with the hate towards this act? Are we competing with how sad so and so is vs so and so over this act? Maybe I see and hear a different sensation on social media and discussions around me. But, the naked truth is that the issue is much larger than a “madman”:

So, how do we fix this?

I have witnessed more change in people’s lives who are going down a wrong path, myself included, through compassionate storytelling. Everyone is a storyteller. Everyone knows someone or some situation that has changed the outlook of your life and in turn it can help change the outlook of another persons life.

I think about these “mad men” who give in to their negative thoughts so far so deep they no longer remember humanity.

Consider this story….

A little boy who grows up being raised to wake up and hand Mommy her morning needle. His Mom is a stripper and a heroin addict. He has to learn how to make his own lunch, help his brothers and sisters get ready for school. He feeds everyone dinner. He tucks the kids to bed, and stays awake doing homework waiting for his Mom to come home, hopefully alive. The young boy spends the following 16 years of his life helping & worrying over his Mom. He had to grow up never knowing his father, and yet somehow, have to figure out how to be Daddy and a son. He had to learn how to walk away from fights on his own when kids would tease him for having a “Mom who is a drugged up slut”. But, the teasing continued. Since he was a kid all he knows about life is drug addiction and loneliness.  All he knows is that society will judge him because other people find his family  “lowly” and uneducated. He continues to grow up believing just as they do and begins to create the habit of believing he is “lowly” too. He refuses to ask for help. Instead, he lets the loneliness turn to bitterness through his adolescent life…and over time that bitterness turns to rage. At 20 years old, his mother dies of a drug overdose and the rage sets in and he begins to fight back. He starts searching for the kids who teased him as a child, who called his mother a slut. He uses the anger, the pain and the loneliness to fuel his darkest thoughts. He uses the loneliness as a reminder that no one will listen to him, that YES THIS IS ME I AM LOWLY resonates loudly in his ears, like a mantra. He spends the next 3 years of his life in and out of jail for fighting. He loses contact of his brothers and sisters who helped raise to be wonderful beings. He then loses contact with himself. He begins to think that he should find these people, kill them, and commit suicide. He feels fed up. He feels angry, and he knows his targets. They are rich, they are happy and they won’t see it coming. He starts to contemplate this idea seriously for the next 3 years while still incarcerated for rape.

At 26 years old he sits in his cell looking at the photos of the 5 kids who used to tease him, these are his targets. His face is full of no expression. His face is fearless. His eyes were black. He was a man who has gone mad. A young lady walks in to his cell, a Bible in her hand. He shakes his head looking at her up and down in approval of her beauty. He nods her over to sit in front of his cell, welcoming the hilarious conversation of “biblical chat” he was used to. She stood her ground. Firm as can be, she sat directly in front of his cell. Two guards were behind her with their arms folded behind them in a Military stance. She sits within reaching distance of him, as a silent way of saying, “I’m not afraid of you. I want to understand you.” He chuckles as soon as he realizes what she is doing. He grabs the bottom legs of the chair to pull her closer in. “Here” he says. The two guards act swiftly, but the young lady waves them down.

“What are you going to do? Try and rape me sitting here? I bet that just makes your blood boil and thicken. I bet you have SO much pent up rage that you are just waiting to bust out of here and attack someone. Such negativity is for cowards.” The young lady doesn’t remove her stare. She glares at him and he glares back.

The now man, 26 years old takes a moment of the truth she just fed to him. He isn’t sure how to respond. This conversation is not like the rest. He is taken off guard. He looks at her Bible and then he looks at her. His eyebrows start to wince, almost in pain.

The young lady notices and continues at this opportunity for breakthrough….

“You’re strong. So strong, by buying into your negative tendencies you’ve awarded yourself with countless allegations, countless acts of violence, hell you even awarded yourself with this stunning scenery. You’re so strong that you have been planning probably for quite some time, something to get back and feel your sense of confidence again. But, you know…you’re so weak that you chose to exert your strong character for violence. You’re so weak that you chose this lifestyle vs. using your strength for good. Damn. (she shakes her head, and removes her glasses, she leans in to a very attentive ear, she whispers) Your type of strength and given your hellacious childhood background, had you chosen a positive path focused on inspiring kids to stay off of drugs, or using yourself as an example of how to overcome adversity. That kind of passion could have inspired thousands….if not millions. You know you have a choice right Ted?”

The man began to weep. He wept, “No. No one ever told me I had a choice. I thought I was born this way, born into this life, born to be this type of man.”

The lady handed him the Bible, full of highlighted passages…. “Take it from me, I know your shoes. I’ve been where you stand. You have a choice. It’s all in here.”

The Naked Truth is: We are a Godless society.

My friend who is a criminologist spends a good majority of her time during Christmas finding volunteers to talk about God with prisoners. This probably was one of the most influential volunteer sessions I have ever been apart of, and it has forever changed my view on humanity.

Like I said….we’re all storytellers…and we all have scars….but where the compassion lies is in knowing we have a sick nation, and it is our duty to help with fearless non judgmental compassion.

-Nevaeh Marie-

Wake up….and LIVE!

 I am embarking on a huge change in my life right now.

I know this has been the premise for me for the last few months, but to finally see action in the making of my “life” I can’t help but stop…and appreciate all the wonderful changes happening.

Recently, I made the decision of after being involved in business for over 10 years, to walk away and pursue health and fitness, a career venture I got my feet wet in with working with Jenny Craig.

I am ELATED! I cannot stop smiling from ear to ear with my decision. However, like all decisions when you walk away from something you know so much about and into an arena you are a beginner at, it is scary.

I am NOT by any means a fitness nut or a fitness model. I have only an interest in helping people achieve a healthy weight and healthy results. I like being in the best shape my body can be, it provides me the opportunity to do so much more athletically.

It’s weird for me this weekend to go shopping for gym attire, and not so much for office attire. It’s an interesting transition purchasing protein and egg whites and not so much on makeup and hair accessories. It is indeed a total life transformation.

I wrestled with this idea for about 3 months. I’m not much for wasting time, and I’m not much for one on NOT making a decision. However, I needed a moment to sit down with myself, and truly meditate on this idea.

Last week, I sat by the beach alone and thought, “5 years from now…am I smiling if I stayed in business…if I stayed doing exactly what I am doing now and advancing in my career?” The answer was clear as day…NO.

I looked at that answer in my mind with great intent to find out if this is in fact how my heart, how my soul, how my entire being felt. It was a perfect moment, where the sun was going down…and the thought of a life in fitness and health IS in fact what I saw myself doing.

I need out. “I cannot confine myself into an office” I thought, I’m way too much of a busy body to get going. Everytime I get into my office, I cringe. This feeling has been going on after I left Jenny Craig and right smack back into an office position. I felt trapped. Helpless. CONFINED INTO WHAT SOCIETY SAYS I SHOULD DO.

Neither should you.

What is your dream? You know you have one….that you’ve consistently pushed aside from pursuing.

This last week felt like a building momentum to have me reach this moment of clarity and to ACT on the clarity.

I read a blog by http://whatsupsmiley.com/2012/08/08/you-have-to-start-somewhere-so-how-about-right-now/ which empowered me to take action. I also watched, http://www.knowledgeoftoday.org/2012/03/thought-definition-life-energy-power.html?m=1&fb_source=message which is a video on the power of thought and on thought creation. In addition I decided to call the National Academy of Sports Medicine and am on my way to being a Certified Personal Trainer and focusing on Sport Conditioning & Weight Loss Management. I haven’t been so empowered by an inspired thought in my life.

I am thrilled to be taking on this experience, choosing and deciding that LIFE IS TOO SHORT…and that I want to LIVE my LIFE.

A good quote and methodical approach to living is by Dale Carnegie when he talks about living in day tight compartments. What he means is to live literally moment by moment. Whatever happens in your day that is all you focus on. Often, we get caught up in the “what’s happening tomorrow” in our days, or worrying over something that hasn’t come to fruition yet.  Take a look at your current working conditions. You spend 8 some of us more than 8 hours a day here. Are you happy? Are you more stressed? What is it doing to you physically, emotionally? Put these things in perspective….

This week has been one of the most awakening weeks I’ve had in years. I am so thankful to have an amazing boyfriend who literally is happy all the time, he inspires me to look at life with an appreciative and grateful eye. From the way the sun shines, to how it sets. To the way I interact with people, creating loving new relationships. Appreciation….is something so often we neglect.

In the words of Bob Marley…”Life is one big road with lots of signs. Don’t COMPLICATE your MIND. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, PUT YOUR VISION TO REALITY. Wake up and Live!”

❤ Nevaeh

 

What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?

Dare your passions and see what happens…

As a follow-up from my previous post on goals and how I’ve been progressing in my re-creation of my business, I decided to share some insight of things I have learned that help propel me into an introductory state of where my goals are.

Having worked with so many business owners, and now having been a business mentor for so long, I have found one common denominator in creating success. Each individual has had a mentor. I have my own mentor myself. Some either use mentorship through books or online reads, while others have a life coach or a business mentor to assist them in-goal setting and vision strategy. As some of you may know, creating a business is not all that it’s cracked up to be. It is hard work, and it is a very personal project regardless if you work with a partner.

For years I couldn’t connect with a guru for myself, someone who understood how my mind worked and why it worked the way that it did. Little did I know the various relationships I have had since 2006 have all attributed to my “mentorship”. As I’ve talked about Mr. Moses in a previous post, he is definitely a person who I would say was a mentor to me. He was a business owner, and his wisdom carried through his lectures with me. Often times I would go there to read to him, some books I brought were on religion, spirituality, travel, love, and then business. He always insisted on me reading business and a book by Scott Peck called, “The Road Less Traveled”. He and Scott became a mentorship program for me as I began to delve into being a business owner.

Long story short…over the years I have opened and closed businesses. I have been successful and sometimes those successes were long successes, while others I came crashing down on my face. I have built with blood, sweat and tears my own ideas of an empire, and I have watched myself allow fear to control my passions, and watched that “empire” come crashing down. THIS is the reason why I find it so necessary to openly share, not only because I was asked to, but because I want to see others gain success by NOT allowing fear to engulf YOUR ideas.

The project I have posted above is one that I received from a friend of mine who learned from her own motivational guru. See why I love sharing knowledge? Anyway, this project is one of the first things I come to whenever I DO something. I ask myself, “Why Do I get out of bed?” and sometimes I sincerely answer, other times the roaring confident woman in me answers, “Because I’m meant to do more!” That voice of confidence is what you want to listen to all the time. I know what it is like to second guess that confidence, we gain confidence based off of the experiences we have, experiences of us falling on our face, BUT….even if you have no experience in the particular field or project you are going into, HAVE that confidence, BELIEVE in that boldly, it will propel YOUR passion.

Secondly, I create rules based on that project that I alone will live by. These are personal, and will shift and change with each project or endeavor you take on.

Thirdly, I ask what my gut instinct is. For me, my gut tells me everyday that I am to passionately seek people who want to build upon their visions and dreams, and to assist them in doing so.

Lastly, I ask myself what I enjoy doing. This is IMPORTANT and fundamental for you and your growth and not to mention your sanity. Taking a moment out of your mind, your business, your project, to just live…breathe…experience your surroundings…is imperative to your success. Remember that. That’s why I love being outdoors, I use all of my senses to experience MY moment. It revives you.

Many of us don’t grasp that life is fleeting. Are you wanting to work 9-5 for the rest of your life or are you wanting to create a life that allows more freedom for yourself? How will you keep yourself motivated? How will you instruct yourself to be daring?

For me…it was through the relationships I gained. I gained confidence based on what they saw in me because I was seeking with an open vulnerability to be better than where I was yesterday, an hour ago, a minute ago. That’s just me…what are you doing to actively participate in your growth?

I visited the senior home yesterday to pick up a book that Mr. Moses left for me. A note was included in the book, a snippet from it read, “I love you, our talks we had. You are meant to change this world, and you will go down in history. Remember, your heart comes first. You have a huge heart, it is not meant to be covered.”

Mr. Moses saw something in me, he spoke my language and has forever changed my life. His last meeting with me has officially turned an “on” switch in my heart. Our hearts, are NOT meant to be covered. On the 4th of July, it was almost 5 months since I saw him. I visited him at random, and his first words were that he needed to speak to me. It was one of the best meetings we had thus far, little did I know it was our last. After we met, the nurse told me he specifically asked for this book to be purchased and to write the note.

Sometimes, (bear with me as I wipe my tears)…we don’t know how close we get to people who inspire youthat you inspire them too.

It is incredibly important to put yourself out there, to share your passions BOLDLY, so that your positive powerful team will grow. You want to gain confidence? Start by doing that…you will have an entire team backing you…believing in you…rooting for you…and pushing you to achieve YOUR passions.

You want change, create change.

You want to inspire a movement inside of you, dare yourself to be uncomfortable.

You want to conquer fear, then face it without second guessing yourself.

You want to stop second guessing yourself, then act.

Ask yourself How Will I Instruct myself to be more daring?

and then SHARE WHY with anyone willing to listen.

Within just 30 days, you’ll see your support unit will multiply. Count me in as your first.

With Love,

Nevaeh

Where are you going?

ImageThis last week has been a challenging week for me…multiple reasons. I have been on a mission to find out what to do with my time, my businesses, my coaching, my spare time, and the list goes on. Fortunately I have been blessed to have too much on my plate than very little on my plate, however it gets daunting when I don’t know which one to pour my energy into.

I spent time in my Nevaeh Office brain to decipher which goals are appropriate to go after. I have been asked several times to share details on how to come up with a solid approach to identify goals to pursue and which ones not to. There really is not “real” answer to this. Each one of us works on goals and taking initiative to complete them differently. You MUST have the desire to motivate yourself continuously because no one else will do that for you. Sometimes life-coaches like myself, are wonderful for adding value to your motivation, but you can only draw a horse to water…the rest is up to you.

This quote has always struck a chord in me to have my fire lit again. I would rather at the end of my life look back and see that I took more chances on things I wanted to do, vs spending time thinking about those chances and wishing I actually did them and reviewing how I might have felt, or where my life would have went had I done so.

I may have mentioned before that I assist at a senior home monthly. On the 4th of July, I baked some cookies and stopped by. It’s honestly been months since I’ve been there, but I was immediately touched to see faces that remembered me. One gentlemen who I read to caught up with me. I watched him and smiled as he was delighted to actually have a snicker-doodle cookie, he sat back in his wheelchair, propped his right elbow on the armrest and fed himself his cookie. A nurse stood by to help, but I nodded at her to give Mr. Moses a chance to trust in his abilities. He said, “you can go now, I want to just talk to my angel” to the nurse. I swear my name is a derivative to anything “heaven” based because of my name, I really am not as much of an angel as some like to nickname me, but I am often flattered by it. It makes my heart smile.

Mr. Moses finished his cookie, smiled and thanked me for thinking of everyone on a National Holiday that normally would call people my age to drink and party, instead I was there with him reading. Moments like that, make me remember that THIS is what life is about. I responded, “The 4th is too busy for that, I have the weekend to be freely out of control”. Mr. Moses’ laughed, his laugh roars throughout the entire home infectiously making the others laugh, including myself. He held my hand and told me he felt like he needed to tell me something…I have been seeing Mr. Moses for a while, someone who has attributed to my personal growth. We spend the majority of our visits reading and discussing life lessons.

“Angel….tell me…are you happy with your life, where it’s at, where it’s going?”

“Yes…you know me, I am always revising my life to make sure I am moving ahead and not backwards.”

“Angel….don’t spend too much time in your mind, you have a beautiful mind, but your heart….that heart is hidden lately. I can tell.”

At this point, I never felt anyone aside from my boyfriend look INSIDE me and genuinely give me something to work on. I always appreciate this.

“You are right. I actually have felt that blockage…perhaps it’s the recent events I told you about that closed me off.”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “Remember when I told you to question yourself and your goals…would you rather be a woman who is strong using her mind and her intellect to affect change, to create an empire, or would you rather be a woman who is so strong in her love for herself, her life, her world, her friends, her family, to create a passion…that same passion I saw months ago when you first walked into here. Where is that light?”

I started to smile, gleaming from ear to ear at him…and then I began to cry…he held me in the best embrace he could provide me in his old age stature, for 10 minutes as I just dumped what was going on to him.

“I’m scared of not being successful….having to close 3 companies because it isn’t my direction anymore scares me because I felt like I wasted my time. It honestly feels like I can’t give energy to anything new because I am mourning over it.”

He laughed again at me, and sat me upright, “Darlin’ you are the most tenacious woman I have seen since the 50’s! You have accomplished so much, that you need to celebrate your accomplishments. All accomplishments end, they are goals you complete and your personality is one that breeds new territory on a regular basis. Be happy you are of a few who can cultivate that, and share that wisdom with others so we have a world of dream cultivators! You of all people should never second guess yourself, you of all people should be second guessing why you aren’t pursuing everything YOU desire.”

“How do I do that?”

“You start with what your heart is telling you….then you write it down, and you work on a plan using that mind of yours to create that goal to come to fruition. And then you do it. And then you enjoy it. Always give gratitude back to yourself for a hard work done. Start with the heart, use your brain to fuel your hearts desire, and move through your goals with the passion that your heart provides. That is the secret to success.”

I was in full-blown tears at this point because his words were resounding truth in my ears. He was right…I have spent more time in my mind lately than spending more time in my heart and too afraid to let my heart shine or have others feel the warmth I have.

The same goes with our goals….sometimes we are too much in our “heads” our “minds” where it feels as if we’ve lived out the goal…but really we are remaining in a dreamlike state never moving forward. Don’t be afraid to have countless “oh wells” for they are the lessons learned, the added wisdom, and not wasted time….and we are the dream cultivators. We are the goal warriors. We have EVERYTHING provided to us that will create success, the only thing stopping us is us.

So…I ask myself, “Where am I going?” My answer….”Everywhere I WANT to go”

Dedicated to the influential & loving “Mr. Moses” aka Valentine.

Rest in Peace: 2/13/1921-7/8/2012 “Mr. Moses”

Just say Yes! “It is a genuine responsibility to FIND things with EAGER INTENT to REVIVE YOU.”

Image

So this morning….prior to my life coach meeting check in, I had a random contemplative moment driving by the beach. I was contemplating my happiness.

Hear me out…

When you have gone for years “unawakened” you spend that time in a dark state, a state of depression…a state of vision-less adornment, and a state of unawakened potential. The term often used is a “dirty mirror” which is a view of what you have for yourself. Most of us, are unawakened for years….some never truly awaken.

It’s been about 4 years for me since I began an overwhelming transformational change in my life….and it would have never came to fruition had it not been MY choice.

This morning, driving by the beach I was hit by this nerve reaction to my now long standing consistency of happiness. I know it sounds crazy to contemplate over that, but living in happiness for 4 years compared to over 10 years of unhappiness and confusion…you can see where at times it can be very difficult to accept happiness as a way of life vs something that is earned. There has not been much drama in my life, because I run from it like a bat out of hell, and I’ve only shed tears out of extreme happiness or being wonderfully moved by a beautiful moment. This is new…

I couldn’t help but crack a smile in the midst of me recognizing my joy…and recognizing how fully awake at life I am.

I recently got back out in the water. I was introduced to surfing last year and never really cared much for it. It was something my friends wanted me to do, I was always a climber. However, this last Saturday I was hit with the bug. You know the, “Yes” bug. I could feel the entire week a weight slowly weighing me down and I couldn’t get my finger on it. I could feel my blood boiling and in desperate need to “let loose”.

On Saturday, I heard my name calling out for me in Oceanside as I was getting coffee, and the words, “Come let’s surf I got an extra board!” Oddly enough, my natural instinct is to assess my situation and THEN answer…this time…thank goodness for being bitten by the yes bug, because without hesitation I said yes! The best part, I didn’t even know who called out my name when I said yes…

I looked up and there was my old colleague Paul who I haven’t seen in over 6 years but always kept in touch through email and texts. He reminded me of an old wise man who just chilled on the beaches in Hawaii and just lived for waves. His daughters both are heavily involved in surfing and rock climbing so lucky me I was already set with the equipment I needed. I also thought since my flipping boyfriend is a surf instructor I better get my shit together… (only because I’m highly competitive 😉 ).

That day around noon…I got back in the water. I was FRIGHTENED!!! I kept saying, “I’m totally going to eat shit. Just warning you.” He would laugh and push my board out next to me. His laugh kept me in a positive spirit, and calm. He was very patient with me, reminding me of some instructions I remembered from last year. The only difference was I was on a shorter board….and much to my surprise…this was EASIER for me.

He told me, “Lil Nev, this board is going to be difficult, but knowing your personality, I think this is the right kind of challenge for you. You can choose whatever you want, but at least you are learning for yourself. There is no wrong way today, this is experimental.”

I loved that approach…isn’t that a similar approach we take on in life? Isn’t that how we should be taking on experiences in life?

I turned the board around with him as I was ready to catch a tiny in most surfers eyes waves, but for my 5’2 98lb stature it was ginormous! I could hear him yelling out to me, “Lay on the middle of your board! Paddle Paddle Paddle!” “Pop up Pop up!”

First try….First run…stood up.

I remember standing up and though it was only for about 5 seconds, it felt like the best eternal experience.

I felt alive again.

All the weight on my shoulder…gone…

All the stress beginning to bog me down…gone…

All the unhappiness wanting to bubble up….gone…

I felt free again.

My point is this….

Often times we don’t take heed to the feelings of contemplating or depression, or even sadness when we are awakened because, we don’t think it’s possible we could go back to that state.

That’s a foolish thing to think first of all….even life coaches, counselors, psychologists, a nun, a pastor…we all have to face the demons inside of us, and it’s unfortunately apart of life for evil and negativity to want to corrupt a happy and rested soul.

It is a genuine responsibility to FIND things with EAGER INTENT to REVIVE YOU.

Every day this week I was finding myself being called to the water. If you know me, you know how many excuses I have made in the past to NOT surf…now I can’t stop. The feeling of being awakened time and time again every time I just sit out there, I feel revived.

This week has been the most rested, energetic and back to the “me” feeling I have ever had.

I have recognized all the unhappiness wanting to burst through me, because I took the time to combat against it. I know the root, and I know a strategy now.

Being aware…IS being awake.

What are you doing to challenge your unhappiness, your stress, your whatever it is that is bogging you down…what are you doing to revive yourself?

Please for the love of God, try something other than yoga. Get outside of your comfort zone…and just say yes.

Here’s a challenge…just say yes. One day…and see where life takes you…

The easiest question asked…the hardest to answer…

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I love myself. Do you love yourself?

That should be the easiest question you answer in life.

During our morning call to start our week, the coach that helps each of us Motivational Interns as I call it, challenges us daily to “answer honestly”. This is a question he springs on when we least expect it individually, and I’ve started to ask myself randomly throughout my day too.

This morning mid conversation, he says “Miss Nevaeh Marie, do you love yourself?” I responded, “If I didn’t I wouldn’t be involved in the line of work I am. I wouldn’t consciously make strides for MY future, for MY happiness, and spread that wealth of love to others. I selflessly love others, and selfishly love myself.” I heard him clapping over the phone and I proceeded to bust up in laughter.

I like being around people who challenge me to be better, because they KNOW of my potential. I have been working with Ken for about 4 years now on and off. He actually was my life coach, and I worked real closely with his counterpart “Miss M” as we call her for about 2 years now. Life coaches and motivational speakers are different than counselors…not to discredit counselors…but the awesome part of my growth was heavily involved with these two outstanding individuals and the group.  The reason why they are so different is they are more directly involved in the growth of YOUR life. Counselors are more directly involved in the listening of your crap. That is my experience at least. Counselors I always felt as if I was paying someone to listen to me ramble, and complain…whereas with a lifecoach I felt as if I was partnering with someone who actively helped guide me.They both asked me this simple question, “Do you love yourself” for the last 2 years religiously.

In the beginning, I couldn’t even answer the question.

No one really asked me if I did, or what I thought of myself. I’m sure the same is even for you.

Our coach advises each of us to be able to answer the question within seconds. The moment the question comes up, a good test of faith to gauge where we are emotionally in our walk is to answer honestly. If I do not feel self love for myself, I make it an effort to find the reason/root for the why, and figure out the how from there to transform my thought process.

“Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different.”

I have noticed over my own growth path, that this is not a race. Transforming a thought process from self negligence to self love IS work.

Remember a few posts back, I explained that even for some of my clients, they refuse to move forward because they are frightened by the realization of self negligence….and it is important to realize that, but also to make the decision to move forward and live.

We have an AMAZING ability to transform thought and CREATE happiness in OUR lives.

Do you understand that? I didn’t when I was first told that….so I tested it…and I challenge you to do the same…

Me being a analytical and overwhelmingly stubborn woman, I challenge everything posed onto me…I was told I was creating the exact life I wanted at this exact moment. At that exact moment I looked at my life and said, “This f&*#ing blows” so granted I wanted to challenge this. I was a blamer…I liked to place the blame on others and NEVER I mean NEVER take responsibility for myself or my actions.

I went with Miss M to an art gallery, and it was perfect this day was no different than the rest, and I was head down, walking around as if my life was sucked out of my very soul. I like many others, have gone through some “shit” who hasn’t…but to me, I was so sheltered IN THE MUCK of my own CRAP that I refused to see the light in life. I actually many times consciously said “No thanks” to being happy.

Be careful that you aren’t making that same mistake….

Anyway, I listened to her tell me to let go…she handed me an ipod with the band XX playing in my ear, I walked around as Miss M sat on the bench near me. I felt safe with her around for me to meander and wander through a gallery of the most gorgeous photos by Ansel Adams. I was taken back…I was incredibly awkward at first…I bumped into a few people by accident, I checked my phone multiple times, and I wanted to at some points just say screw it and leave.

I came across a black and white photo he did of a 1950’s couple…the guy in the photo was kissing his wife goodbye. There was so much dreariness to the photo, saddness yet happiness involved…I stood there for about 20 minutes thinking…gazing…and at that moment, I grasped the idea…”I have to choose to love myself.”

A few tears dropped down my right cheek and I remember I felt a weight lifted off of me. I felt a burst of excitement bubble from the mid level of my stomach, and without hesitation I started to smile from ear to ear. My eyes were lit up, I stood up straight, I felt every inch of my body, every fiber inside of me…literally light up.

One thought.

One inspired thought.

Transformed…my entire existence.

YOU have the choice.

Take it from a girl who was scared and eager to say no to happiness…to choosing happiness, and to everyday WANT to be surrounded by joy.

I know what it is like to choose the other side, and don’t worry you don’t have to share your reasoning’s…just know…eventually it’ll get old. You have one life…

Make it count….at the end of the day, you make yourself proud…or you could let yourself down.

PS: A challenge aside from asking if you love yourself is if you are surrounded by loved ones who challenge your self growth…or if they rather watch you stay running in place.