Where are you going?

ImageThis last week has been a challenging week for me…multiple reasons. I have been on a mission to find out what to do with my time, my businesses, my coaching, my spare time, and the list goes on. Fortunately I have been blessed to have too much on my plate than very little on my plate, however it gets daunting when I don’t know which one to pour my energy into.

I spent time in my Nevaeh Office brain to decipher which goals are appropriate to go after. I have been asked several times to share details on how to come up with a solid approach to identify goals to pursue and which ones not to. There really is not “real” answer to this. Each one of us works on goals and taking initiative to complete them differently. You MUST have the desire to motivate yourself continuously because no one else will do that for you. Sometimes life-coaches like myself, are wonderful for adding value to your motivation, but you can only draw a horse to water…the rest is up to you.

This quote has always struck a chord in me to have my fire lit again. I would rather at the end of my life look back and see that I took more chances on things I wanted to do, vs spending time thinking about those chances and wishing I actually did them and reviewing how I might have felt, or where my life would have went had I done so.

I may have mentioned before that I assist at a senior home monthly. On the 4th of July, I baked some cookies and stopped by. It’s honestly been months since I’ve been there, but I was immediately touched to see faces that remembered me. One gentlemen who I read to caught up with me. I watched him and smiled as he was delighted to actually have a snicker-doodle cookie, he sat back in his wheelchair, propped his right elbow on the armrest and fed himself his cookie. A nurse stood by to help, but I nodded at her to give Mr. Moses a chance to trust in his abilities. He said, “you can go now, I want to just talk to my angel” to the nurse. I swear my name is a derivative to anything “heaven” based because of my name, I really am not as much of an angel as some like to nickname me, but I am often flattered by it. It makes my heart smile.

Mr. Moses finished his cookie, smiled and thanked me for thinking of everyone on a National Holiday that normally would call people my age to drink and party, instead I was there with him reading. Moments like that, make me remember that THIS is what life is about. I responded, “The 4th is too busy for that, I have the weekend to be freely out of control”. Mr. Moses’ laughed, his laugh roars throughout the entire home infectiously making the others laugh, including myself. He held my hand and told me he felt like he needed to tell me something…I have been seeing Mr. Moses for a while, someone who has attributed to my personal growth. We spend the majority of our visits reading and discussing life lessons.

“Angel….tell me…are you happy with your life, where it’s at, where it’s going?”

“Yes…you know me, I am always revising my life to make sure I am moving ahead and not backwards.”

“Angel….don’t spend too much time in your mind, you have a beautiful mind, but your heart….that heart is hidden lately. I can tell.”

At this point, I never felt anyone aside from my boyfriend look INSIDE me and genuinely give me something to work on. I always appreciate this.

“You are right. I actually have felt that blockage…perhaps it’s the recent events I told you about that closed me off.”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “Remember when I told you to question yourself and your goals…would you rather be a woman who is strong using her mind and her intellect to affect change, to create an empire, or would you rather be a woman who is so strong in her love for herself, her life, her world, her friends, her family, to create a passion…that same passion I saw months ago when you first walked into here. Where is that light?”

I started to smile, gleaming from ear to ear at him…and then I began to cry…he held me in the best embrace he could provide me in his old age stature, for 10 minutes as I just dumped what was going on to him.

“I’m scared of not being successful….having to close 3 companies because it isn’t my direction anymore scares me because I felt like I wasted my time. It honestly feels like I can’t give energy to anything new because I am mourning over it.”

He laughed again at me, and sat me upright, “Darlin’ you are the most tenacious woman I have seen since the 50’s! You have accomplished so much, that you need to celebrate your accomplishments. All accomplishments end, they are goals you complete and your personality is one that breeds new territory on a regular basis. Be happy you are of a few who can cultivate that, and share that wisdom with others so we have a world of dream cultivators! You of all people should never second guess yourself, you of all people should be second guessing why you aren’t pursuing everything YOU desire.”

“How do I do that?”

“You start with what your heart is telling you….then you write it down, and you work on a plan using that mind of yours to create that goal to come to fruition. And then you do it. And then you enjoy it. Always give gratitude back to yourself for a hard work done. Start with the heart, use your brain to fuel your hearts desire, and move through your goals with the passion that your heart provides. That is the secret to success.”

I was in full-blown tears at this point because his words were resounding truth in my ears. He was right…I have spent more time in my mind lately than spending more time in my heart and too afraid to let my heart shine or have others feel the warmth I have.

The same goes with our goals….sometimes we are too much in our “heads” our “minds” where it feels as if we’ve lived out the goal…but really we are remaining in a dreamlike state never moving forward. Don’t be afraid to have countless “oh wells” for they are the lessons learned, the added wisdom, and not wasted time….and we are the dream cultivators. We are the goal warriors. We have EVERYTHING provided to us that will create success, the only thing stopping us is us.

So…I ask myself, “Where am I going?” My answer….”Everywhere I WANT to go”

Dedicated to the influential & loving “Mr. Moses” aka Valentine.

Rest in Peace: 2/13/1921-7/8/2012 “Mr. Moses”

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Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

The Happiness Test

Oprah does it again for me. In one of my recent old newsletter thingy’s a previous client wrote about me on about.me, I found it refreshing to see my ultimate inspirational guru still is the one and only Oprah. I went on to say, “If there is any woman on this earth that moves me, challenges me, and makes me cry like a baby and laugh all at the same time, then that award goes to Oprah. I’ve been an avid intern since I was watching the Oprah show with my Mom in the 80s. She is the type of humanitarian I want to become. She is the type of woman I want to become. Her passion for helping people has always intrigued me…more than her humbleness. I admire her work.” Which doesn’t surprise me all the more that I spend at least the morning coffee I have on her website feeding my brain with her positive words and influential lessons on the daily.

Today, I took her Happiness Test…and I was surprised by my result. I used to be a oober negative person…believe it or not…but I realized that the kind of attitude to cultivate fresh beginnings, and new opportunities was one of positive influence so my search started, some 2-3 years ago and I haven’t wavered since.

Here’s the test in case you want to check it out…its a short 10 questions and a fun way to start challenging what kind of joy you are bringing into your life now. Who says self actualization and reflection are bad things?

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Take-the-Happiness-Test-Quiz

Your Result:

84 – 100 Call to Joy
Inside each of us is a call to joy. The more you answer this call, the more you discover the truth of who you are, what is important and what your life is for. By following your joy, you experience the fullness of your being and you discover a depth of creativity and talent that inspires the world. People who follow their joy are the renaissance workers who evolve the consciousness of humanity. It’s time to answer the call!
As I have grown more comfortable in my skin after my toxic relationship, and after friendships which tore me down…I started to find confidence in my own happiness. How weird right? How can one lack confidence in happiness? Answer: years of self neglegence…hence my deep passion to want to revive this out of people!! I love seeing someone find their consciousness and listen to THEIR voice only. Makes my ❤ just 🙂 !
I challenge you…just as I plan to challenge myself this weekend…to create new happiness in my life. I plan to tackle one of the list items on my 20 things before 30, in particular painting. Hell, I am no artists persay…but I do love watercolor and watching what my mind puts on paper aside from writing. I need to at least finish 1 painting to cross it off!
What do you plan to do that is something new this weekend for YOU?
Please do share with me!
…..and that is today’s Double Feature Friday ❤
“Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is a warm glow of the heart at peace with itself. A martyr at the stake may have happiness that a king on his throne might envy. Man is the creator of his own happiness. It is the aroma of life, lived in harmony with high ideals. For what a man has he may be dependent upon others; what he is rests with him alone.”