Judgement Day.

Okay if you REALLY believe the world is going to end tomorrow, keep in mind that tomorrow 12/21 has already hit other countries. So hooray!

Now that’s addressed, onto the more important topic. Compassion.

In my latest research with Mr. Fogg from Stanford University (we’re in the process of understanding tiny habits), I have found 1 common thought that kept popping up in my mind. “Why are we not downloading the habit of acts of compassion?”

“Shit!” I thought, I am no Mother Teresa where compassion is second nature to me, and I know I am hard on myself as it is. I TRUST in realism. I TRUST in the facts. The other day, as I was retraining my habits to implement new tiny habits, I thought what the hell, I’ll add in the random act of compassion.

One of my clients made stationary, and I shared an idea with her to help bring in new business. I took this idea and I personalized it. At the end of the month on Thursday I send out a note to 3 people I want to personally thank them for who they are and also uplift them. Life happens and bad things happen, so do good things, and I felt it’s one of the most unexpected act of compassion that I could provide to those in my life. I wanted to purposefully seek out those who I normally wouldn’t thank. I shared this with my organization MOTIVATEme. in hopes that this sort of compassion will spread.

It did.

Then….

 

I started to sense that there is a certain frequency in our world.

Hang in there with me, I know this sounds crazy!

I’ve been “sensing” frequency ever since I overcame depression, drug addiction and cancer. Woo Hoo triple whammy!

I never was one for the ole “I had a near death experience and it makes me sensitive to situations” but I guess it does. I have an uncanny ability to feel and sense my surroundings. I feel so much that I had to train myself to stop feeling to a certain degree just to get a handle on my emotions. (I did have a trained mentor for this process)

Some people have called it intuition. I don’t know what the definition is, but I am damn happy to be able to have it for positive use.

So, my “feeling” of frequency lately is the reason why we lack so much compassion in this world, it is the feeling of competition…aka judgement.

I started to look around. I started to listen closely to HOW people were responding. HOW people were closing up and not talking or sharing. HOW people started to get angry over other peoples opinions, just because their own opinions were lacking exultation.  There is a healthy competition and a healthy way to share ideas and share opinions, but in the air as of lately, i’ll be blunt, it sounds more like children arguing in a sandbox. The “I know, you don’t need to tell me, I get it” or I heard this yesterday, “What, how can you not believe the way I do?! Who are you?!” (In reference to a television show. The extreme “frequency” response of competition. See what I mean?)

Let me sharpen the scope even more for you.

Take the very gruesome act of the Sandy shooting. It makes me sick to know there are people like this in this world. However, how are we a society who is broken, handling this? Are we REALLY handling it or are we competing with the hate towards this act? Are we competing with how sad so and so is vs so and so over this act? Maybe I see and hear a different sensation on social media and discussions around me. But, the naked truth is that the issue is much larger than a “madman”:

So, how do we fix this?

I have witnessed more change in people’s lives who are going down a wrong path, myself included, through compassionate storytelling. Everyone is a storyteller. Everyone knows someone or some situation that has changed the outlook of your life and in turn it can help change the outlook of another persons life.

I think about these “mad men” who give in to their negative thoughts so far so deep they no longer remember humanity.

Consider this story….

A little boy who grows up being raised to wake up and hand Mommy her morning needle. His Mom is a stripper and a heroin addict. He has to learn how to make his own lunch, help his brothers and sisters get ready for school. He feeds everyone dinner. He tucks the kids to bed, and stays awake doing homework waiting for his Mom to come home, hopefully alive. The young boy spends the following 16 years of his life helping & worrying over his Mom. He had to grow up never knowing his father, and yet somehow, have to figure out how to be Daddy and a son. He had to learn how to walk away from fights on his own when kids would tease him for having a “Mom who is a drugged up slut”. But, the teasing continued. Since he was a kid all he knows about life is drug addiction and loneliness.  All he knows is that society will judge him because other people find his family  “lowly” and uneducated. He continues to grow up believing just as they do and begins to create the habit of believing he is “lowly” too. He refuses to ask for help. Instead, he lets the loneliness turn to bitterness through his adolescent life…and over time that bitterness turns to rage. At 20 years old, his mother dies of a drug overdose and the rage sets in and he begins to fight back. He starts searching for the kids who teased him as a child, who called his mother a slut. He uses the anger, the pain and the loneliness to fuel his darkest thoughts. He uses the loneliness as a reminder that no one will listen to him, that YES THIS IS ME I AM LOWLY resonates loudly in his ears, like a mantra. He spends the next 3 years of his life in and out of jail for fighting. He loses contact of his brothers and sisters who helped raise to be wonderful beings. He then loses contact with himself. He begins to think that he should find these people, kill them, and commit suicide. He feels fed up. He feels angry, and he knows his targets. They are rich, they are happy and they won’t see it coming. He starts to contemplate this idea seriously for the next 3 years while still incarcerated for rape.

At 26 years old he sits in his cell looking at the photos of the 5 kids who used to tease him, these are his targets. His face is full of no expression. His face is fearless. His eyes were black. He was a man who has gone mad. A young lady walks in to his cell, a Bible in her hand. He shakes his head looking at her up and down in approval of her beauty. He nods her over to sit in front of his cell, welcoming the hilarious conversation of “biblical chat” he was used to. She stood her ground. Firm as can be, she sat directly in front of his cell. Two guards were behind her with their arms folded behind them in a Military stance. She sits within reaching distance of him, as a silent way of saying, “I’m not afraid of you. I want to understand you.” He chuckles as soon as he realizes what she is doing. He grabs the bottom legs of the chair to pull her closer in. “Here” he says. The two guards act swiftly, but the young lady waves them down.

“What are you going to do? Try and rape me sitting here? I bet that just makes your blood boil and thicken. I bet you have SO much pent up rage that you are just waiting to bust out of here and attack someone. Such negativity is for cowards.” The young lady doesn’t remove her stare. She glares at him and he glares back.

The now man, 26 years old takes a moment of the truth she just fed to him. He isn’t sure how to respond. This conversation is not like the rest. He is taken off guard. He looks at her Bible and then he looks at her. His eyebrows start to wince, almost in pain.

The young lady notices and continues at this opportunity for breakthrough….

“You’re strong. So strong, by buying into your negative tendencies you’ve awarded yourself with countless allegations, countless acts of violence, hell you even awarded yourself with this stunning scenery. You’re so strong that you have been planning probably for quite some time, something to get back and feel your sense of confidence again. But, you know…you’re so weak that you chose to exert your strong character for violence. You’re so weak that you chose this lifestyle vs. using your strength for good. Damn. (she shakes her head, and removes her glasses, she leans in to a very attentive ear, she whispers) Your type of strength and given your hellacious childhood background, had you chosen a positive path focused on inspiring kids to stay off of drugs, or using yourself as an example of how to overcome adversity. That kind of passion could have inspired thousands….if not millions. You know you have a choice right Ted?”

The man began to weep. He wept, “No. No one ever told me I had a choice. I thought I was born this way, born into this life, born to be this type of man.”

The lady handed him the Bible, full of highlighted passages…. “Take it from me, I know your shoes. I’ve been where you stand. You have a choice. It’s all in here.”

The Naked Truth is: We are a Godless society.

My friend who is a criminologist spends a good majority of her time during Christmas finding volunteers to talk about God with prisoners. This probably was one of the most influential volunteer sessions I have ever been apart of, and it has forever changed my view on humanity.

Like I said….we’re all storytellers…and we all have scars….but where the compassion lies is in knowing we have a sick nation, and it is our duty to help with fearless non judgmental compassion.

-Nevaeh Marie-

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Be as you are.

“Just love life Nevaeh!”

This was the moment that began a course correction in my life. It was this single conversation that my mentor and I had in his office. It helped that he also was a long time friend & colleague who always struck me as “odd” because he was SO mother freaking happy all the time, eventually that happiness rubbed off on me. I was in this ridiculous (now it seems) bubble of negativity. At the time I was in 2 toxic relationships…I’ll eventually post on the importance of choosing and how to choose carefully the right people in your life, and how to gracefully excuse those who are causing you pain or toxicity. My boyfriend and best friend at the time were my entire world. I had such a problem with deflecting my own issues and my own self growth, that instead of working on myself, I ran in circles and offered help to these two people. This eventually sucked my soul dry.

“You are a free therapist. It’s causing you anguish and its causing you some major stress. You aren’t LIVING, but hell, you’ve gained quite a lot of karma!” He continued to tell me. “So Nevaeh, tell me, when will you start living?”

I remember shaking my head at him, and began laughing. I honestly didn’t know HOW to get out of the situation I volunteered myself in. In a way, I felt in debt to the two of them for reasons I still to this day I’m not sure of what or why for. 

“I’m terrified.” I looked up at him and with an honest sigh, “I don’t know if I can, if I deserve it.”

He looked at me shocked. “You are missing the point. Living life isn’t about deserving, it’s about identifying your calling, and that defines your search on your journey. I bet you can’t even answer what makes you happy because you are overly consumed by their drama you can’t even focus on your own to grow from!” He continued pointing his finger outside his beautiful office window overlooking all of LA, “You my dear, are meant for more. As your friend, as your business colleague, promise me you’ll accept this challenge for yourself.”

I looked up at him in desperation, I was hooked on every word he was saying because it resonated with my soul. It made sense.

“What is it?”

“Promise yourself to define living for YOU. Once you do, then be as you are.”

I left his office with a weight on my shoulder, it was heavy, but nothing like the burdens I’ve been carrying from these two people I loved so much.

I drove to Venice and stayed there alone for the weekend. I actively searched out LIFE. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know HOW to do it, I just promised myself I would be immersed in anything and everything that contained living.

I still remained in the situation I was in for another year, but it was Anthony who actively stayed on me, challenging me. He would text me, “Good morning beautiful friend! Go out and LIVE today! How are you living? What new discovery have you found?” Granted his old age helped me trust him and his wisdom, without these challenging texts I probably wouldn’t have done what I came to finally do.

Last year, I walked away from it all. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I was DRAINED. I lost respect for myself. Through this whole process, I developed a hatred. The hate for wasted time. It made my blood boil, thinking back on the time I spent as a therapist and not for myself. I fully participated in the halt of my own growth.

“I’m just so pissed!” 

He looked at me, shook his head, “You miss the point again. You didn’t waste time, you may have been overly involved in their lives which took away from your own growth, but you HAVE grown so much within the last year. Shall we review? You took several trips on your own for your own self discovery, you began writing, you began creating new ideas for new business ventures, you created a dynamic online portal for learning, you developed an amazing resource for women and their self esteem…you went through what you did for one reason. Perhaps, having a 3rd party look in your life is what you need, Nevaeh, you have now 2 years of experience under your belt to help even more people. You have multiplied your skills. You have developed skills that school would never have been able to teach you. You had the internship of Psychology in a real world setting. Be proud. Be excited! Now, you’re a certified life coach, now you have that power behind you to use and help change people’s perspectives and unlock their full potential in life. Wouldn’t you agree that defines you? The passion to help others. That IS you.

I was floored. So floored, I threw up. Laugh it up! Seriously, I threw up because I was disgusted with myself. I couldn’t see the perspective he saw, and that made me sick. How selfish I thought to myself, about myself. Hello humble pie. It taught me to step back, to look at different angles, because that is where life is defined.

Sometimes it takes another person who you trust, you value and who has years of wisdom because they too have gone through something similar, to pull you out of misery and directly in the sunshine of life.

Once you’re in that sunshine…its up to you to shine. It’s up to you to challenge yourself daily on how to overcome whatever it is you are going through by constantly stepping back after every attempt and re-configuring your approach. Overcoming pain is through positive thought, I don’t care what anyone says….the happiest people you come across in life, are happy and bubbly for the very reason that they can rest in the fact that staying positive is the key to life. 

Life, will ALWAYS be a struggle IF YOU ALLOW IT. Life is meant to be a singular journey. The part of life that gets beautiful, is to be able to share your experiences with one another. In a way, it’s advice for your journey to whatever destination that is.

For myself, I left. I didn’t look back. I still get messages and texts from them even after I expressed my very reasons for ending the relationship and friendship. It’s funny, its only then that truth hits home for people. I, however moved on much quicker than I expected for myself, because I took responsibility for my decisions, for my actions, and for my life. I no longer chose to hold myself back any longer. I walked away without hesitation, and I walked away with my head held high. I answered the question my mentor challenged me just a few years ago. I did the work. I did the searching. I accepted that this will be a lifelong journey, but the definition of MY life was clear as day.

January 2012 hit, and so did the truth of “Be as you are”.

I bought a train ticket, packed my bags for a writing retreat, and ventured to Los Angeles to meet my mentor prior. 

“You look lighter, happier!” He said to me with arms wide open.

“Yes…I feel free.” I remember gleaming from ear to ear my smile.

“And how do you feel?”

I relieved a huge sigh, dropped my bags, exhaled grabbed him in a huge hug and started to cry hysterically, “I feel like me, Anthony. I feel like me.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Some people have asked me especially in my practice, HOW I overcame what I went through. Some who have read my work, have emailed me in their own anguish anxiously searching for answers just as I was. So, here are some quick tips I’m happily offering up:

My golden rule: ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY for optimal growth

Do the work!

Materials: boxing gloves (for negative or defeated thoughts), positive attitude (as your power source) and provide your soul lots of room (set aside your freaking ego, accept the fact that you need to fall fully, in order to know how to pick yourself up).

1. Surround yourself with positive everything.

Each night I searched for a positive quote. Each morning I posted that positive quote on my Facebook. Each morning I emailed myself a love note with that positive quote, and by the end of the week (that Friday) I wrote about HOW I implemented that quote in my life, my trials.

2. Get a slice of humble pie. 

I started seeing a hypnotherapist in Orange County and started seeing a counselor who was a part of Saddleback Church. Both combinations had me exposed to people who were on drugs, overcoming alcohol addiction, who were homeless, who had no hope…and yet, they openly discussed their pains and showed their scars in our nightly circles. I walked away every meeting feeling more alive. For me, it took knowing what was really going on in our world, for me to understand that life is not “easy”, but that the hardest part, was thinking positively.

I took this exposure further and began to volunteer my time at shelters, at senior homes and gave back after each time I gained strength in ME. In a way, they helped heal me, and I them.

3. Find your outlet. (“Be as you are”)

I loved to write, I love music and I love art. So, what did I do? I combined the three. I took several trips to Balboa, LA and the South to experience all of it. I would plug-in my earphones, look at art and then, I’d find a bench and write.

A few months into this process, I started to feel this truth rising up in my gut. Hard to explain, but it’s where the “clear as day moment” happened. I sat across from a painting that reminded me of Oregon in all its green lush trees, beautiful crystal like lake views, and powder blue sky; I said out loud, “this is it.” At the time I didn’t know it would be now called MOTIVATEme. but that painting grew in my mind of thousand kids, teens, adults all resounding in unity…in love. Gaa…my hope for a peaceful nation.

and lastly 4. Love yourself.

This is when people say “Love yourself first and everything will fall into place” but for me personally, I couldn’t accept this UNTIL I applied the work for myself. It wouldn’t have made sense to me, I’m far too rational and analytically that when I tried thinking, “I love myself!” it I felt like I signed up for some hoaky bullshit where Barney would come popping out of every corner. If you can do that awesome, but personally I think doing the work first will allow you NATURALLY to arrive to loving yourself. I came to KNOW myself more through the work. I came to be KIND to myself more through the work. I came to IDENTIFY my weaknesses through the work, and I came to be INSPIRED through the work.

The work had me daily arrive to epiphanies that turned into new paths. Still to this day…I do the work.

“UBUNTU” I am…because WE are.

Image“An anthropologist proposed a game to children in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the children that whoever got there first won the sweet fruits. When he told them to run, they all took each other’s hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats.

When he asked them why they had run like that when one could have had all the fruits for himself, they said, ‘UBUNTU, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?’ (‘UBUNTU’ in the Xhosa culture means: ‘I am because we are.)” – Excerpt posted from Success Nation

I was very moved by this post for many reasons. What attracted me to the post first was the photo. I’m very intrigued by cultural photos. They make me feel engaged toward my curiosity to want to understand what other societies are doing. I get emotionally invested in understanding what their beliefs are and how they live. I’m fascinated because, like most American’s, I want to define happiness for myself. In America, our happiness is not appreciated because it’s sold through various means of propaganda. Whereas other cultures teach that happiness is a state of living.

The road to happiness is a culmination of focusing on compassion, gratitude and a constant open heart for love. I asked myself how I would go about building this for myself, if indeed happiness is a state of living. What does that road look like?

That road for me came in the form of MOTIVATEme.

MOTIVATEme. is a non-profit organization that focuses on positive social change. MOTIVATEme. is built from a dream of developing a new society, one in which builds up people vs. tearing them down. A society in which dreams are cultivated and nourished, where endless resources are at the fingertips of change-makers so that positive social change will be in constant movement.

Photo courtsey of 123RF.com

Why this road for me? I have found that America has turned into a negative, fearful and fragile land. This causes each individual to mimic the same emotions, which are personified daily through our actions. That means, daily we infect each other with either positive or negative vibes. Consider this thought, what if you were only exposed to a reality that enforced positivity? How would you live? Would it be different? America was once named the land of opportunity, now she should be renamed and known for her debt and lack of happiness per capita.

My passion is derived from personal experience; being told that my dream for social change, for being a writer, for inspiring others is a dream that I’d continue to chase and never achieve, for the rest of my life. I was told, by several people, that the desire to transform society through positivity is an unobtainable goal.

Photo courtsey of 123RF.com

In my line of work, I am a life coach. I work with a variety of individuals. Some are business owners of large companies, others are single mothers or college students, all of which share one common goal; to identify their true passions and then motivate them to come alive. The work I do is very rewarding. I connect with each person I work with through understanding the root of their lack of drive. I find their passions in one territory through sharing stories of different perspectives. This helps launch one to a new vantage point in their life; creating inspirational and motivational course change.

I always loved the famous Gandhi quote “my life is my message.” I meditated on this idea of a new society and pursued MOTIVATEme. and just as I did, I was exposed to UBUNTU.

I am successful….because WE ARE.

I am confident…because WE ARE.

I am positive….because WE ARE.

I am___________……..because WE ARE. (Fill in the blank).

I started to see everything in my life differently. My life started to change as I gained a new perspective of oneness. I witnessed that oneness that UBUNTU is, through those involved in MOTIVATEme. It is a growing community who are tired of living in a society who fends for themselves. They are tired of living in negativity. They practice unity and positivity.

In order for society to be revived, we must first remove competition from one another.

At the end of the day, we are all fighting for our lives. Fighting essentially for the way we believe them to be. We spend time hoping and creating an expectation that always fails; instead of being grateful and letting go. We are in search of oneness because of how cold society has become. We compete with one another, instead of including each other in happiness, in joy and in love. When we include each other, and we run hand in hand just as the UBUNTU saying describes, we empower each other. It is the quickest charge back to life. It is the quickest surge that ignites motivation, inspiration and compassion inside you.

It is a power that provides solid peace.

I knew when I pursued MOTIVATEme. it was because I desire to see UBUNTU throughout my life. I wanted that for the world.

My happiness is in UBUNTU.

http://lipstickandpolitics.com/empower/8356

THE PASSION PROJECT: I don’t have a passion….where can I buy one?

 One of my most FAVORITE questions I get asked when I bring on a new client, and we start our first 10 minutes of getting to know each other to see if we’re a good fit, is “What is your passion?” I usually get the look of deer in headlights.

Have you asked yourself what your passion is? Have you identified it? Do you know what it FEELS like? Do you know how to achieve success FOR that passion? Do you know what INSPIRES and MOTIVATES you to chase after your passion?

This is one of my specialities, only because I am enamoured by our minds. I love learning about how we come to conclusions, questions, growth, self-awareness, all from our minds. We transfer in our minds to our “voice in our head” over 60, 000 thoughts a day! How many of those thoughts are positive vs. negative? Have you considered WHERE your thoughts originate from? What is your mind exposed to, to cause these thoughts?

One of my clients said to me, “I don’t have a passion. Where can I buy one?” As a joke I told her there was no local convenience store that could offer that, as passion isn’t convenient its work.

Here’s an internal project to do:

Duration: 10 Minutes – 30 Minutes

Needs: Favorite Pen & Paper

On your paper create a 3 column grid.

1st column = AGE

2nd column = ACTIVITY

3rd column = EMOTION

Let’s begin!

1.

Column 1= The age when the thought “Who Am I?” first came into your mind?

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you delved into due to this thought (i.e. writing, sports, outdoor, friends, etc)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling during this moment (i.e. lonliness, depressed, happy, excited)

2.

Column 1 = The age when you CARED about WHO you are.

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you were emotionally involved in due to you caring about WHO you are

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling WHILE you were in this moment

3.

Column 1 = The age you DECIDED to ACT on FINDING you.

Column 2 = The ACTION(S) involved to CREATE/MOTIVATE the answer to FINDING you (your likes, dislikes)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

4.

Column 1 – The age you took RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR ACTIONS in finding YOURSELF

Column 2- The ACTION(S) involved to DRIVE your motivation in finding yourself

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

Now…let’s stop here before we go to the final #5….let’s look back on your answers….

You’ll notice a progression from the first age you wrote down, all the way down to the 4th. They should be different. However, results vary based on upbringing, what you were exposed to as far as self actualization is concerned. If you notice column 3 never changes in the question. That is because emotions are ever-changing…and they are ever changing BASED on WHAT we involve ourselves into. See why fear robs us of our happiness? Fear stops us from being involved in new things, when in fact those “new things” push us into our true self.

For example this is mine.

You can see by the 4th point in my life, my lost feelings turned into unhappiness, that unhappiness turned to happiness and then my happiness turned into a myriad of emotions. However, if you notice my emotions changed BASED on what I was exposing myself to. Notice at age 20 I stopped climbing…what was my emotional response from doing only 1 thing?

I think you see my point here…there is no 1 passion…there are multiples…but let’s go onto #5

Draw a line underneath the final column….

5.

Column 1 – The age you CHOSE to PURSUE one of YOUR actions.

Column 2- The ACTION you chose.

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

At this stage, you KNOW who you are, the part of you that acknowledges responsibility and realizes that you are a creator of YOUR destiny. At this stage you are THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE. You know how to dream, you have the courage to pursue your dream, and you are INSPIRED.

This is a WONDERFUL tool to use to gauge your own self awareness and to keep you on track and motivated on your goals.

Remember, it is important for true success to take 1 hour every week to dedicate to yourself. To find your balance and to recharge your energy.

Passion is what is INSIDE your heart. That’s why this project is designed to LOOK inside of you, inside of what your inner thoughts are saying, and to start listening to your true voice, and not the voice of fear who constantly holds us back on a daily basis.

What are 3 things you plan to do this August that will give you MORE exposure to things you may be passionate about?!

GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! 🙂

With Love & Gratitude,

Nevaeh Marie

Dare your passions and see what happens…

As a follow-up from my previous post on goals and how I’ve been progressing in my re-creation of my business, I decided to share some insight of things I have learned that help propel me into an introductory state of where my goals are.

Having worked with so many business owners, and now having been a business mentor for so long, I have found one common denominator in creating success. Each individual has had a mentor. I have my own mentor myself. Some either use mentorship through books or online reads, while others have a life coach or a business mentor to assist them in-goal setting and vision strategy. As some of you may know, creating a business is not all that it’s cracked up to be. It is hard work, and it is a very personal project regardless if you work with a partner.

For years I couldn’t connect with a guru for myself, someone who understood how my mind worked and why it worked the way that it did. Little did I know the various relationships I have had since 2006 have all attributed to my “mentorship”. As I’ve talked about Mr. Moses in a previous post, he is definitely a person who I would say was a mentor to me. He was a business owner, and his wisdom carried through his lectures with me. Often times I would go there to read to him, some books I brought were on religion, spirituality, travel, love, and then business. He always insisted on me reading business and a book by Scott Peck called, “The Road Less Traveled”. He and Scott became a mentorship program for me as I began to delve into being a business owner.

Long story short…over the years I have opened and closed businesses. I have been successful and sometimes those successes were long successes, while others I came crashing down on my face. I have built with blood, sweat and tears my own ideas of an empire, and I have watched myself allow fear to control my passions, and watched that “empire” come crashing down. THIS is the reason why I find it so necessary to openly share, not only because I was asked to, but because I want to see others gain success by NOT allowing fear to engulf YOUR ideas.

The project I have posted above is one that I received from a friend of mine who learned from her own motivational guru. See why I love sharing knowledge? Anyway, this project is one of the first things I come to whenever I DO something. I ask myself, “Why Do I get out of bed?” and sometimes I sincerely answer, other times the roaring confident woman in me answers, “Because I’m meant to do more!” That voice of confidence is what you want to listen to all the time. I know what it is like to second guess that confidence, we gain confidence based off of the experiences we have, experiences of us falling on our face, BUT….even if you have no experience in the particular field or project you are going into, HAVE that confidence, BELIEVE in that boldly, it will propel YOUR passion.

Secondly, I create rules based on that project that I alone will live by. These are personal, and will shift and change with each project or endeavor you take on.

Thirdly, I ask what my gut instinct is. For me, my gut tells me everyday that I am to passionately seek people who want to build upon their visions and dreams, and to assist them in doing so.

Lastly, I ask myself what I enjoy doing. This is IMPORTANT and fundamental for you and your growth and not to mention your sanity. Taking a moment out of your mind, your business, your project, to just live…breathe…experience your surroundings…is imperative to your success. Remember that. That’s why I love being outdoors, I use all of my senses to experience MY moment. It revives you.

Many of us don’t grasp that life is fleeting. Are you wanting to work 9-5 for the rest of your life or are you wanting to create a life that allows more freedom for yourself? How will you keep yourself motivated? How will you instruct yourself to be daring?

For me…it was through the relationships I gained. I gained confidence based on what they saw in me because I was seeking with an open vulnerability to be better than where I was yesterday, an hour ago, a minute ago. That’s just me…what are you doing to actively participate in your growth?

I visited the senior home yesterday to pick up a book that Mr. Moses left for me. A note was included in the book, a snippet from it read, “I love you, our talks we had. You are meant to change this world, and you will go down in history. Remember, your heart comes first. You have a huge heart, it is not meant to be covered.”

Mr. Moses saw something in me, he spoke my language and has forever changed my life. His last meeting with me has officially turned an “on” switch in my heart. Our hearts, are NOT meant to be covered. On the 4th of July, it was almost 5 months since I saw him. I visited him at random, and his first words were that he needed to speak to me. It was one of the best meetings we had thus far, little did I know it was our last. After we met, the nurse told me he specifically asked for this book to be purchased and to write the note.

Sometimes, (bear with me as I wipe my tears)…we don’t know how close we get to people who inspire youthat you inspire them too.

It is incredibly important to put yourself out there, to share your passions BOLDLY, so that your positive powerful team will grow. You want to gain confidence? Start by doing that…you will have an entire team backing you…believing in you…rooting for you…and pushing you to achieve YOUR passions.

You want change, create change.

You want to inspire a movement inside of you, dare yourself to be uncomfortable.

You want to conquer fear, then face it without second guessing yourself.

You want to stop second guessing yourself, then act.

Ask yourself How Will I Instruct myself to be more daring?

and then SHARE WHY with anyone willing to listen.

Within just 30 days, you’ll see your support unit will multiply. Count me in as your first.

With Love,

Nevaeh

Where are you going?

ImageThis last week has been a challenging week for me…multiple reasons. I have been on a mission to find out what to do with my time, my businesses, my coaching, my spare time, and the list goes on. Fortunately I have been blessed to have too much on my plate than very little on my plate, however it gets daunting when I don’t know which one to pour my energy into.

I spent time in my Nevaeh Office brain to decipher which goals are appropriate to go after. I have been asked several times to share details on how to come up with a solid approach to identify goals to pursue and which ones not to. There really is not “real” answer to this. Each one of us works on goals and taking initiative to complete them differently. You MUST have the desire to motivate yourself continuously because no one else will do that for you. Sometimes life-coaches like myself, are wonderful for adding value to your motivation, but you can only draw a horse to water…the rest is up to you.

This quote has always struck a chord in me to have my fire lit again. I would rather at the end of my life look back and see that I took more chances on things I wanted to do, vs spending time thinking about those chances and wishing I actually did them and reviewing how I might have felt, or where my life would have went had I done so.

I may have mentioned before that I assist at a senior home monthly. On the 4th of July, I baked some cookies and stopped by. It’s honestly been months since I’ve been there, but I was immediately touched to see faces that remembered me. One gentlemen who I read to caught up with me. I watched him and smiled as he was delighted to actually have a snicker-doodle cookie, he sat back in his wheelchair, propped his right elbow on the armrest and fed himself his cookie. A nurse stood by to help, but I nodded at her to give Mr. Moses a chance to trust in his abilities. He said, “you can go now, I want to just talk to my angel” to the nurse. I swear my name is a derivative to anything “heaven” based because of my name, I really am not as much of an angel as some like to nickname me, but I am often flattered by it. It makes my heart smile.

Mr. Moses finished his cookie, smiled and thanked me for thinking of everyone on a National Holiday that normally would call people my age to drink and party, instead I was there with him reading. Moments like that, make me remember that THIS is what life is about. I responded, “The 4th is too busy for that, I have the weekend to be freely out of control”. Mr. Moses’ laughed, his laugh roars throughout the entire home infectiously making the others laugh, including myself. He held my hand and told me he felt like he needed to tell me something…I have been seeing Mr. Moses for a while, someone who has attributed to my personal growth. We spend the majority of our visits reading and discussing life lessons.

“Angel….tell me…are you happy with your life, where it’s at, where it’s going?”

“Yes…you know me, I am always revising my life to make sure I am moving ahead and not backwards.”

“Angel….don’t spend too much time in your mind, you have a beautiful mind, but your heart….that heart is hidden lately. I can tell.”

At this point, I never felt anyone aside from my boyfriend look INSIDE me and genuinely give me something to work on. I always appreciate this.

“You are right. I actually have felt that blockage…perhaps it’s the recent events I told you about that closed me off.”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “Remember when I told you to question yourself and your goals…would you rather be a woman who is strong using her mind and her intellect to affect change, to create an empire, or would you rather be a woman who is so strong in her love for herself, her life, her world, her friends, her family, to create a passion…that same passion I saw months ago when you first walked into here. Where is that light?”

I started to smile, gleaming from ear to ear at him…and then I began to cry…he held me in the best embrace he could provide me in his old age stature, for 10 minutes as I just dumped what was going on to him.

“I’m scared of not being successful….having to close 3 companies because it isn’t my direction anymore scares me because I felt like I wasted my time. It honestly feels like I can’t give energy to anything new because I am mourning over it.”

He laughed again at me, and sat me upright, “Darlin’ you are the most tenacious woman I have seen since the 50’s! You have accomplished so much, that you need to celebrate your accomplishments. All accomplishments end, they are goals you complete and your personality is one that breeds new territory on a regular basis. Be happy you are of a few who can cultivate that, and share that wisdom with others so we have a world of dream cultivators! You of all people should never second guess yourself, you of all people should be second guessing why you aren’t pursuing everything YOU desire.”

“How do I do that?”

“You start with what your heart is telling you….then you write it down, and you work on a plan using that mind of yours to create that goal to come to fruition. And then you do it. And then you enjoy it. Always give gratitude back to yourself for a hard work done. Start with the heart, use your brain to fuel your hearts desire, and move through your goals with the passion that your heart provides. That is the secret to success.”

I was in full-blown tears at this point because his words were resounding truth in my ears. He was right…I have spent more time in my mind lately than spending more time in my heart and too afraid to let my heart shine or have others feel the warmth I have.

The same goes with our goals….sometimes we are too much in our “heads” our “minds” where it feels as if we’ve lived out the goal…but really we are remaining in a dreamlike state never moving forward. Don’t be afraid to have countless “oh wells” for they are the lessons learned, the added wisdom, and not wasted time….and we are the dream cultivators. We are the goal warriors. We have EVERYTHING provided to us that will create success, the only thing stopping us is us.

So…I ask myself, “Where am I going?” My answer….”Everywhere I WANT to go”

Dedicated to the influential & loving “Mr. Moses” aka Valentine.

Rest in Peace: 2/13/1921-7/8/2012 “Mr. Moses”

Just say Yes! “It is a genuine responsibility to FIND things with EAGER INTENT to REVIVE YOU.”

Image

So this morning….prior to my life coach meeting check in, I had a random contemplative moment driving by the beach. I was contemplating my happiness.

Hear me out…

When you have gone for years “unawakened” you spend that time in a dark state, a state of depression…a state of vision-less adornment, and a state of unawakened potential. The term often used is a “dirty mirror” which is a view of what you have for yourself. Most of us, are unawakened for years….some never truly awaken.

It’s been about 4 years for me since I began an overwhelming transformational change in my life….and it would have never came to fruition had it not been MY choice.

This morning, driving by the beach I was hit by this nerve reaction to my now long standing consistency of happiness. I know it sounds crazy to contemplate over that, but living in happiness for 4 years compared to over 10 years of unhappiness and confusion…you can see where at times it can be very difficult to accept happiness as a way of life vs something that is earned. There has not been much drama in my life, because I run from it like a bat out of hell, and I’ve only shed tears out of extreme happiness or being wonderfully moved by a beautiful moment. This is new…

I couldn’t help but crack a smile in the midst of me recognizing my joy…and recognizing how fully awake at life I am.

I recently got back out in the water. I was introduced to surfing last year and never really cared much for it. It was something my friends wanted me to do, I was always a climber. However, this last Saturday I was hit with the bug. You know the, “Yes” bug. I could feel the entire week a weight slowly weighing me down and I couldn’t get my finger on it. I could feel my blood boiling and in desperate need to “let loose”.

On Saturday, I heard my name calling out for me in Oceanside as I was getting coffee, and the words, “Come let’s surf I got an extra board!” Oddly enough, my natural instinct is to assess my situation and THEN answer…this time…thank goodness for being bitten by the yes bug, because without hesitation I said yes! The best part, I didn’t even know who called out my name when I said yes…

I looked up and there was my old colleague Paul who I haven’t seen in over 6 years but always kept in touch through email and texts. He reminded me of an old wise man who just chilled on the beaches in Hawaii and just lived for waves. His daughters both are heavily involved in surfing and rock climbing so lucky me I was already set with the equipment I needed. I also thought since my flipping boyfriend is a surf instructor I better get my shit together… (only because I’m highly competitive 😉 ).

That day around noon…I got back in the water. I was FRIGHTENED!!! I kept saying, “I’m totally going to eat shit. Just warning you.” He would laugh and push my board out next to me. His laugh kept me in a positive spirit, and calm. He was very patient with me, reminding me of some instructions I remembered from last year. The only difference was I was on a shorter board….and much to my surprise…this was EASIER for me.

He told me, “Lil Nev, this board is going to be difficult, but knowing your personality, I think this is the right kind of challenge for you. You can choose whatever you want, but at least you are learning for yourself. There is no wrong way today, this is experimental.”

I loved that approach…isn’t that a similar approach we take on in life? Isn’t that how we should be taking on experiences in life?

I turned the board around with him as I was ready to catch a tiny in most surfers eyes waves, but for my 5’2 98lb stature it was ginormous! I could hear him yelling out to me, “Lay on the middle of your board! Paddle Paddle Paddle!” “Pop up Pop up!”

First try….First run…stood up.

I remember standing up and though it was only for about 5 seconds, it felt like the best eternal experience.

I felt alive again.

All the weight on my shoulder…gone…

All the stress beginning to bog me down…gone…

All the unhappiness wanting to bubble up….gone…

I felt free again.

My point is this….

Often times we don’t take heed to the feelings of contemplating or depression, or even sadness when we are awakened because, we don’t think it’s possible we could go back to that state.

That’s a foolish thing to think first of all….even life coaches, counselors, psychologists, a nun, a pastor…we all have to face the demons inside of us, and it’s unfortunately apart of life for evil and negativity to want to corrupt a happy and rested soul.

It is a genuine responsibility to FIND things with EAGER INTENT to REVIVE YOU.

Every day this week I was finding myself being called to the water. If you know me, you know how many excuses I have made in the past to NOT surf…now I can’t stop. The feeling of being awakened time and time again every time I just sit out there, I feel revived.

This week has been the most rested, energetic and back to the “me” feeling I have ever had.

I have recognized all the unhappiness wanting to burst through me, because I took the time to combat against it. I know the root, and I know a strategy now.

Being aware…IS being awake.

What are you doing to challenge your unhappiness, your stress, your whatever it is that is bogging you down…what are you doing to revive yourself?

Please for the love of God, try something other than yoga. Get outside of your comfort zone…and just say yes.

Here’s a challenge…just say yes. One day…and see where life takes you…