THE PASSION PROJECT: I don’t have a passion….where can I buy one?

 One of my most FAVORITE questions I get asked when I bring on a new client, and we start our first 10 minutes of getting to know each other to see if we’re a good fit, is “What is your passion?” I usually get the look of deer in headlights.

Have you asked yourself what your passion is? Have you identified it? Do you know what it FEELS like? Do you know how to achieve success FOR that passion? Do you know what INSPIRES and MOTIVATES you to chase after your passion?

This is one of my specialities, only because I am enamoured by our minds. I love learning about how we come to conclusions, questions, growth, self-awareness, all from our minds. We transfer in our minds to our “voice in our head” over 60, 000 thoughts a day! How many of those thoughts are positive vs. negative? Have you considered WHERE your thoughts originate from? What is your mind exposed to, to cause these thoughts?

One of my clients said to me, “I don’t have a passion. Where can I buy one?” As a joke I told her there was no local convenience store that could offer that, as passion isn’t convenient its work.

Here’s an internal project to do:

Duration: 10 Minutes – 30 Minutes

Needs: Favorite Pen & Paper

On your paper create a 3 column grid.

1st column = AGE

2nd column = ACTIVITY

3rd column = EMOTION

Let’s begin!

1.

Column 1= The age when the thought “Who Am I?” first came into your mind?

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you delved into due to this thought (i.e. writing, sports, outdoor, friends, etc)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling during this moment (i.e. lonliness, depressed, happy, excited)

2.

Column 1 = The age when you CARED about WHO you are.

Column 2 = The ACTIVITY you were emotionally involved in due to you caring about WHO you are

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling WHILE you were in this moment

3.

Column 1 = The age you DECIDED to ACT on FINDING you.

Column 2 = The ACTION(S) involved to CREATE/MOTIVATE the answer to FINDING you (your likes, dislikes)

Column 3 = The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

4.

Column 1 – The age you took RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR ACTIONS in finding YOURSELF

Column 2- The ACTION(S) involved to DRIVE your motivation in finding yourself

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

Now…let’s stop here before we go to the final #5….let’s look back on your answers….

You’ll notice a progression from the first age you wrote down, all the way down to the 4th. They should be different. However, results vary based on upbringing, what you were exposed to as far as self actualization is concerned. If you notice column 3 never changes in the question. That is because emotions are ever-changing…and they are ever changing BASED on WHAT we involve ourselves into. See why fear robs us of our happiness? Fear stops us from being involved in new things, when in fact those “new things” push us into our true self.

For example this is mine.

You can see by the 4th point in my life, my lost feelings turned into unhappiness, that unhappiness turned to happiness and then my happiness turned into a myriad of emotions. However, if you notice my emotions changed BASED on what I was exposing myself to. Notice at age 20 I stopped climbing…what was my emotional response from doing only 1 thing?

I think you see my point here…there is no 1 passion…there are multiples…but let’s go onto #5

Draw a line underneath the final column….

5.

Column 1 – The age you CHOSE to PURSUE one of YOUR actions.

Column 2- The ACTION you chose.

Column 3 – The EMOTION you remember feeling while you were in this moment

At this stage, you KNOW who you are, the part of you that acknowledges responsibility and realizes that you are a creator of YOUR destiny. At this stage you are THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE. You know how to dream, you have the courage to pursue your dream, and you are INSPIRED.

This is a WONDERFUL tool to use to gauge your own self awareness and to keep you on track and motivated on your goals.

Remember, it is important for true success to take 1 hour every week to dedicate to yourself. To find your balance and to recharge your energy.

Passion is what is INSIDE your heart. That’s why this project is designed to LOOK inside of you, inside of what your inner thoughts are saying, and to start listening to your true voice, and not the voice of fear who constantly holds us back on a daily basis.

What are 3 things you plan to do this August that will give you MORE exposure to things you may be passionate about?!

GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! 🙂

With Love & Gratitude,

Nevaeh Marie

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Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

Ladies, YOU are an UNSTOPPABLE force…

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”

So, some exciting news is that the long time passionate fun that my family and I would do every time I visit back home in the South is Vintage Shop. I started when I was a little girl with my Great Grandma and Grandma in St. Joseph Missouri. They would take me first to the beauty shop where I got to play with different ways to do my nails and got immediately obsessed with all the scarves and hats that were sold in the beauty shops. I always loved the charm that little towns in the mid-west and South had and maintained the quaint love of vintage in each memory I have as a kid.

It’s no surprise that years later I was buying in bulk every single time I visited the Carolina’s. One weekend my step Mom and I were out every single day, 4 days in a row and after spending a couple hundred dollars, I walked away with almost 2 suitcases worth of AMAZING jackets, shoes, scarves, hats and the list goes on. I later used them in modeling, gave them away to friends, and eventually started selling them.

” I would have never thought of wearing some of the hats I wear or scarves I wear before you.  Now I am bold and brave about it – all thanks to you!  You give me courage.” These comments are the very reason I decided to turn a family tradition into a business. The West coast unfortunately doesn’t even come close to what the South offers, and for a while I was talked out of this idea of bringing the Southern vintage to the West Coast. Now…after many conversations, interactions with local businesses…I have found just by extending my tentacles that this idea could help save the love of vintage in the West Coast. Had I not begun a small research, I would have spent another several years doubting MY idea. How terrible!

My point is this…I am an opportunist. If I see an opportunity, and I feel as if I can somehow provide an opening, an assistance, and it’s geared from my passion…THEN ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY am I going to pursue it.

So many times now I hear of women talking themselves out of great ideas because business still sometimes is viewed as a “man’s world”…

Real talk…Ladies…my lovely ladies…embrace the change, embrace the inspiration that’s inside of you. We only have ONE LIFE…and though I am thankful for having had the career path I had, I am all the more grateful for the career paths I create for MYSELF. Once you have done it once…you are forever changed.

I have 2 mentors that tell me constantly, “Nevaeh, YOU ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE” and every day I battle with my annoying doubter side of me who tells me otherwise. If I listened to that other voice…I would have never gained the experience that I have today.

So I’m telling YOU now ladies, YOU ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE…YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONG, CONFIDENT, SMART AND DON’T FORGET AMAZING. UNSTOPPABLE FORCES ARE A THREAT TO THOSE WHO SPEND THEIR LIVES DOUBTING. YOU ARE NOT A DOUBTER…YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE.

Sometimes…it’s best to just fall…and KNOW…you can always pick yourself up.

Fear is the #1 conqueror in our everyday lives.

What I have ALWAYS loved about the women who I have met within the “pin-up/vintage world” is they all have the very same attitude that I have in my heart…it is a no bullsh!t approach to life, a “I don’t give a crap I’m doing this…” attitude and the very confident courageous yet open embrace to life that is the reason I BELIEVE in and look up to the women who have this.

Each one of us women…have the capability to inspire and feed the fire of our motivation, we have an uncanny way of using our intuition as a power to cultivate our determination.

I have met more business owners that are women than men in today’s business world, and I am in constant contact with local businesses being in the field of work I am in, and the best advice I can provide to any woman out there who is second guessing is this…YOU ARE A CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE…ask yourself these:

1. Am I HAPPY with what I have created?

2. Is this MY creation?

3. If it’s not…what is the picture of MY CREATION?

4. Am I holding myself back because of “circumstances”? (and if you are, snap out of it…you’ll be stuck there for years never moving forward, constantly talking yourself out of it,and then someone else will come up with the same idea and pursue it)

and 5. What’s REALLY stopping me? (Face it…and move FORWARD…if you felt excited over a project or an idea with that burning desire to do it…then DO IT!)

Find a role model that you adore…mine are Audrey Hepburn and Oprah, both timeless women who evoke courage and beauty from within, I learned and still learn many lessons of the type of woman I want to become thanks to their attributes.

Who is your LEADING LADY and what are you doing to cultivate a new direction for YOUR life?

The Sing your <3 heart out dare!

I don’t know about you, but I get super pumped and hyped when I get involved in something that AFFECTS change. There is nothing that compares to the amount of gratifying “good feelings” you get from being a part of something that affects change. Perhaps most of us get sold on that idea…but whatever it is…it’s great to have that fingerprint for change.

This morning during one of my life coaching calls, we were discussing a new approach to affecting change and  inspiring our clients on HOW to affect change in your life. Did you know it’s one of the hardest things to commit to, yet we’re so eager to help affect change for a cause not of our “own”?

Why is it so difficult to affect change for OUR own cause?

Every single one of us has a cause that we are trying to work on affecting. Every single one of us has goals and accomplishments that we would like to see continue flourishing, but yet every single one of us gets in the lazy slump, discouraged and our change becomes unaffected.

My guru came up with a simple tool about a year ago while I was obsessing over my issues with the inability to stay on the change coaster.

It was in the midst of my writing for a small publication, and for the life of me I kept coming back at my writing with a blank mind. I tried painting, I tried singing in the shower, I tried rock climbing, ballet, surfing, I even went out to my secluded secret beach spot during a sunset trying to romanticize myself to come up with something, anything…and yet…still nothing! I was incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I could feel anger seeping into my veins, and thought I either better go grab a drink or go for a run and cool off.

I remembered a conversation I had with my guru a while back…he told me, “Do you ever just roll down your windows, blare a ridiculously awesome ballad, and sing your heart out when your angry? Talk about a mind release.” and I thought…let’s do it. I’ve literally tried everything in a 2 day span.

It was a very sunny and gorgeous day in Orange County, and I was in 5PM traffic. I thought…perfect…the one time out of the day I get the inspiration to do this project. Being the motivational aspect of my client’s lives, I had to challenge myself to do this regardless of how embarrassing this was about to make me feel.

So I rolled down my windows, put in my Live Journey CD, and blared on max volume “Dont stop believing”. 15 mph and the awesome stop and go’s allowed me to make eye contact with my fellow traffic peeps, and as I gave into the music and just allowed myself to let go and live in the moment, I noticed as I opened my eyes mid rock out session during the chorus, I noticed the car to the right of me full of college kids playing along with me, to my left I got nothing but odd looks so I did the ole pointer gesture at them and a wink. I was HAVING SO MUCH FUN, I FORGOT EVERYTHING AT THAT MOMENT.

As the song ended, I turned down my radio…traffic started to pick up again and my smile didn’t leave my face for about 2 weeks. During that time, I wrote an article which was submitted and published…I never told anyone about this except for my family who was my #1 support through this time. Writing was something I kept hidden, like singing and dancing…I know I’m weird with my “talents” but doing a project like this…helped me get a little outside of my shell and into living in the moment.

Sometimes…we just need to step away from our lives and into living…

I dare you…in fact I double dog dare you to try this…you can’t beat songs from the 80’s to early 90’s to blare this…and you never know…you could just as well might be brightening another persons day too!

Happy Singing 😉

“The future depends on what we do in the present. – Mahatma Gandhi”

The dictionary identifies “inspiration” as the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something.

Incredibly interesting because that poses the question, how many of us are moved by what our mind tells us or by what our heart tells us?

Passion is the driving force for motivation.  I remember one instance with a business owner in Los Angeles a few years ago and we had a life changing discussion about passion. He told me that he didn’t have passion. He didn’t know what “that” was. In one swept motion I touched his shoulder and said “that’s heartbreaking.” I will never forget the face he gave me, and the instant tears that ran down his face. I struck a chord! I thought, shit what do I do now?

I gave him his moment encouraged him to “let it out” and that he did. I told him to do one of my favorite exercises that help with getting all the “static thought” out onto paper. I handed him a freshly sharpened pencil and a sticky note. I said, “Now I want you to write only one word descriptions of how you feel and how you felt 5 minutes ago. You can only write on this one post it.” He looked at me like I was crazy, but I did my nod of encouragement and walked over to his window of the 18th floor. This window took up from floor to ceiling, it was stunning. There was a moment where my stomach did a flip being so high up.  I could hear his pencil tapping on the conference room table as I looked over at these vast skyscrapers. “Breathtaking isn’t it?” he said.

My response, “Is that how YOU feel about these skyscrapers, about this view?” He gave me a smirk of a smile, then nodded at me and started his one word project with his old school no. 2 pencil. I stood still with my back to him, looking out the large glass window and just smiled from ear to ear. “He understood” I thought in my head. Standing almost 16 floors up, I could imagine why he would question his “skyscraper passion”. Is this really beauty?

I wanted him to grasp the moment, revel in HIS moment. He reached a pivotal point in HIS LIFE. Often times we miss this by being overly concerned with the approval of our mind, identifying the moment as inspired thought. For example, how many times have you probably overlooked a sense of inspiration because you thought, “well I didn’t THINK it happened” or “my mind didn’t say that I did”.

The mind is what keeps you rational, that I believe, but often times it can be the demise of major life transformation.

After this session we had, I got a call from him about 2 weeks later. This business owner sold his company, and checked out of his skyscraper to move cross-country within a few months. “I’ve always wanted to travel.” He told me…and you’d assume a successful business owner would have done so, but as he went on to tell me, “I realized I gave my 20 years to business, I want to give the next 20 to myself, doing what I love.”  It always fascinates me and excites me to witness a vision and the domino affect of change that happens because of that, regardless of what direction it takes them. It’s inspiring to see the motivation, as a “can’t stop me” locomotive. This guy I knew had it. He had that spark that I try to find in every person I work with.

He is currently involved in rescue for horses and breeds horses. He is a huge advocate and passionate soul for animals. He is using the funds he was making and providing charitable support and making some MAJOR changes in the realm of saving horses from being euthanized.  The idea of what a “perfect life” varies from person to person. I shared parts of his story to help give you the vision that often times is misrepresented that being successful or “living the dream” isn’t always about how much money you are making. Want to be rich? Go about doing something that YOU are passionate about…it won’t feel like work, and you’ll find yourself happier, healthier, and more vibrant for the rest of your life.

Have you taken a good look at where you’re at in your life? Are you happy or are you just stuck on the hamster wheel? Are you really living? Or, are you like my previous client, finding his real truth in the midst of defining his own passion…in skyscrapers?

“The future depends on what we do in the present. – Mahatma Gandhi”

Outdoor Project to get you on track!

Which is it that best describes you?

1.  It’s a TASK to sit down and write out the goals that you want to accomplish or is it 2. More of a TASK to actually do the work that is involved to make those goals become successes for you?

62% of my clients find it more difficult finding a dream that they can focus on. Most of my clients are visionary leaders themselves…anyone that runs their own company or has the balls to do that, generally has MANY visions of goals on their plate. The difficulty at that point really then is narrowing it down, which is where I come in.

I’ll teach you one tiny little exercise that I do with my clients and it involves going outdoors.

For me, I am a huge believer that being with nature and really “one with the Earth” as I call it, you can reach such great clarity. The first time I brought one of my Investor/CEO’s out for this project he asked me, “Nevaeh, no offense but why the hell are we going in the middle of nowhere?”

My response…”In the middle of nowhere that is where your loudest thoughts get quiet, and your quiet thoughts roar.”

I remember looking back at him on the trail, and he just smiled and nodded at me.

Now, the majority of my clients range from San Diego county to LA county…and there are PLENTY of secluded areas for you to do this project.

HEAR MY VISION ROAR PROJECT

Suit up in clothes you are not worried about getting dirty. I know how some of you business owners get

Comfy Shoes – at most I would recommend about a 2-3 hour total hike

Pack a lunch and plenty of water

Bring your vision journal & a handy PENCIL (no pens allowed)

Camera (optional)

Choose your hiking location: If you have problems with this, just ask me.

***Please don’t be a dip-wad and go alone.***

THE HIKE

The purpose of the hike is to QUIET your mind. Most of us have our minds on constant chatter throughout the day. ALLOW yourself the time to breathe, step away from the office and business plans mentally and emotionally CHECK IN to YOURSELF.

Each step you take say to yourself your daily affirmations (REFERENCE: Project Love Thyself).

Do not talk to me or the partner you are with – this is about YOU.

I at one point will stop you and ask you to begin to journal….

JOURNAL

1.    Top 3 things YOU enjoy

2.    Explain WHY your chose them

Please try to make them non-business related.

PROCESS

1.    30 minutes reflection

a.    Reflect on WHY you chose the 3 things you enjoy

b.    During this time feel free to write anything in addition to your “why’s” any notes, any feelings, jot them down.

2.    15 minutes REVISION

a.    You may choose ONE to revise, and explain WHY you revised it

3.    Meditate on the entire process

a.    Timing based on YOU and your comfortably

PURPOSE

The purpose of this exercise is designed to quiet the chatter that goes on in your mind throughout the week, your month and sometimes over the last several years. You may experience being emotional, crying is definitely okay, sometimes you may experience being angry out of time lost, and that is okay too.

You will find that this process will AWAKEN you. I want that for you. I want you to feel REVIVED and ANEW.

At this point we will work on your ACTION PLANS and execution of what YOU decide.

Be excited….celebrate YOU and YOUR vision!