What the sh!t?

“We sell fear!”

This was probably the most interesting endings I ever had to a sales day. I thought going to school that juggling modeling, promotional work, and working at a sales job that was rewarding in character (i.e. selling safety device to seniors) would be a great fit for the remainder of my 2012 career.

I was f*&(ing wrong!

What the shit happened to society today? What the shit happened to business today? What happened to feeling safe in an office environment, in a school environment even?

You know when you start a new job or even a project and you’re like super amped about it in the beginning. You’re wearing what I call “rose colored glasses” and little by little as the days go on in the endeavor, the glasses start to vanish. You start to see things differently. Clearly. I am ALL TOO FAMILIAR with this life rotation that I plan for it. It’s why I have always had multiple streams of income in order to weigh out just how retarded our society (speaking business standards) has become.

I went through 2 weeks of extensive training with an AMAZING trainer. She was so patient with a class of 12 really random individuals, and she was very fun to learn from. She reminded me of one of my school teachers in High School, someone who I could connect with and felt empowered by. So, I was naturally excited to graduate from training and finally get on the sales floor and help saving lives one phone call at a time.

The first day, we met the supervisor.

She was a bitch.

If you know me, it takes a hell of a lot for me to say that or call someone that. I literally have no other words to describe such a poor attitude in a woman. What was so sad though, was she is so pretty, and the moment she opened her mouth it was Jersey Shore trash…you know the typical Jersey Shore where she thought her own shit didn’t stink. This was my first what the shit moment.

Not even an hour into sales and talking to some awesome seniors on the phone, she pulls me aside.

“You are too nice.” She says.

That was my second what the shit moment.

The glasses were slowly coming off my face.

There I was sitting in my cubicle (fuck, when did I get in a cubicle again from having my own in home office to now a mother fucking cubicle!), and this instant message pops up on my computer.

The instant message is full of wink faces and small talk. I look to see who it is, and sure enough it’s the creeper supervisor whose been eyeballing my shit.

That was the third what the shit moment.

I scratched the side of my right temple contemplating how or if I should respond. Each second I kept thinking, more wink face emoticons were coming through the instant message, as if they were poking me on the forehead.

Finally I responded with something work related and ended the conversation. He continued to blabber on about how “cool” my name is. What the fuck ever guy.

Every single time I got up to use the restroom…the entire sales floor complete with about 30+ men and about 2 girls, all stared. Occasionally would interject my walking and asked if I needed anything, how my day was, etc. In the beginning I thought, “How nice everyone is!” thanks to those rose stupid colored mother fucking glasses…and then boom…

They decided to fall off.

“Everyone you sell FEAR here! If they aren’t full of fear on the phone, they won’t buy from you! Remember, if they say they are fixed income, those seniors are lying to you!”

Then…my heart dropped. It literally sunk so far deep into my gut I grew physically ill.

I thought of every person I talk to, deal with as if they are my own family, my own friend. Even when I had my own business, I believed  in and still do, on building value through quality work, through quality customer service, through proper rapport building.

I left without saying goodbye, and I didn’t look back.

I got home…dropped my bags at my feet in my room…and then I started crying. I let it out.

I threw up.

All of the words this supervisor bitch was saying and has said to me which I didn’t even fully cover because it would make you sick too, fled through my mind.

I am a very rational person. I take everything that happens as a reason. I thought about one thing specifically she said, “What are you, like mid 20’s, a damn model and you probably never owned a business in your lifetime, at your age I was making like thousands of dollars a month, had two kids, and maybe you just don’t feel accomplished yet for whatever reason….” and went on and on…I started to feel small. I thought…THIS IS WHAT KIDS FEEL IN SCHOOL TODAY.

Sometimes…situations in life like this are what you are faced with…where the reality of life is, High School just never ends.

I did end up reporting this incident…and quickly fled this company.

It put things in perspective for my life….and I hope you take this piece of advice.

Do not chase money.

Do not compromise YOUR HAPPINESS.

Do not at any circumstances allow someone negative to come into your space and fuck it up.

This is YOUR life.

A friend of mine asked me, “There are no perfect jobs out there Nevaeh, why didn’t you just stay and deal?”

My response…”Because I am not a part of the herd.I beat to my own drum. That drumbeat…is living a positive life. I don’t tolerate anything less.”

I admit…fuck…I’m human…money has always been something that came easily to me. However, the lesson learned here is motivation.

My Dad text me, “Hi honey….how are you doing today?”

My Mom emailed me with a title “SMILE” and said something brilliant which made my What the Shit moment, a moment of clarity, she asked,  “Maybe this experience for you was only about more motivation to drive you forward?”

This was the moment I meditated on the fact that I was learning a big life lesson. I was gaining…what my Dad called, “wisdom”. This taught me something about myself…the fire and ignition and passion for activism, for humanitarianism, and for social change was flooding through my veins.

I feel empowered, focused and comfortable with this change that I’ve been talking about doing for the last several months but begrudgingly never wanted to actually do.

Here I am….

I surrender.

“At times…we face the “WHAT THE SHIT” moments to face our inner fears….to face who we are currently to face that we still need to grow and make new changes to become what we desire to be. Be open to growth…and the universe will respond to your every desire. I know…because I’m living it now.”

 

MOTIVATEme.: Lowering the obesity rate pt1

Let me ask you something….

When was the last time YOU were outraged by something you saw or heard about regarding our society?

I’m sure some of you have a collection of responses from the Aurora shootings, to 9/11 discussions, to maybe some shocking tragic news that have hit your local town.

For me, THIS shocks me.

I used to work at Jenny Craig some almost year and a half ago. One of the best experiences I had yet in my career. I met some AMAZING people both in the field and also as my colleagues. The one common thread we all shared was providing educational support to those in need of weight loss.

Though a gratifying day in and day out job it was….it began to weigh heavy in my heart that we weren’t able to physically be with these people. Everything was over the telephone. Which is why I decided to pursue personal training to BE with people. There is something more impactful about sitting down with someone, and being with them as they go through motivational change. Personally, in the line of work I have done whether it was career advising or counseling it was always best in person vs. over the phone.

I had a conversation with a 400lbs woman during one of the calls I had. I spent exactly 42 minutes on the call before I got an instant message for me to “hurry my call up”. I remember thinking to myself, “is THIS what America has come to? That help has a dollar and time limit attached to it?” Our goal was to sign up as many memberships as possible, but with someone struggling with obesity, I truly believe this is a whole different approach. I spent another 30 minutes with her on the call on purpose. I told her to email me weekly, something that we shouldn’t do…and every week I got an email from her. Every week she told me how motivated she was by the call I had with her, how I put things in constant perspective for her. Eventually, she couldn’t afford the program…as do all who suffer obesity say, even those like myself who weren’t obese, but didn’t want to transition away from fast food, the famous excuse of “health food is expensive“. Newsflash….its actually not when you know what your body NEEDS & your health….is worth every penny.

If you know someone suffering from obesity like I do, then you know what it is like to be around them. It sickens me. It IS a mental disease whether you want to classify obesity as that or not.

America needs to wake up and know the facts about obesity and how it is the “new cancer infecting America”.

Let me put it this way….I’ll use a common example:

1 Single Mother has 3 kids….

This mother is about 50 lbs overweight…and her foods of choice are fast foods because she is “too busy” to make meals at home.

The mother provides her 3 kids for school money to purchase meals.
(Breakfast, Lunch and a snack at school)

The mother picks up kids and for dinner they have their choice of KFC, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut you name it they have “choices”.

The mother finds this helpful to drive thru and save time and energy on her already chaotic day.

The mother feeds herself something from the place her kids choose.

Within a few months, the mother gains approximately 1/2-1lb per week due to this diet. Depending on her daily activities she rarely burns the calories from the previous meals. Not to mention these “meals” are full of CRAP, and there is really little nutritional value and more high cholesterol & fats.

In addition, her kids have spent the day purchasing items from the school cafeteria. Do you know what schools offer? Ever heard your child, or your sibling say “Yes! It’s McDonalds Wednesday!” or “KFC Friday!” You got it….our American diet continues even into your traditional public schools.

Here is a comment from the CDC this year, (Yes the CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION in case you still don’t think this is a disease) “No state has met the nation’s Healthy People 2010External Web Site Icon goal to lower obesity prevalence to 15%. The number of states with an obesity prevalence of 30% or more has increased to 12 states in 2010. In 2009, nine states had obesity rates of 30% or more. In 2000, no state had an obesity prevalence of 30% or more.”

If that isn’t shocking you….take another look at the photo above and tell me that we don’t have a UNIVERSAL problem? How is it that we in America are over consumers and yet we still find a hard time filling the gap and owning the responsibility to give back to those in need? No wonder we are nicknamed the selfish nation.

Let’s continue….the CDC also released this statement in regards to the 2008 results: “In 2008, medical costs associated with obesity were estimated at $147 billion; the medical costs paid by third-party payors for people who are obese were $1,429 higher than those of normal weight.”

It’s TIME FOR CHANGE.

I have been wrestling with a decision that’s laid rested upon my heart for years. All I knew is, I wanted to help people. I tried various jobs in community service, health, business, advisory programs, you name a motivational program, I’ve most likely delved into it…only to find that I was still “searching” for that “perfect” career.

Thanks to yesterday, of being slam dunked in the face by POSITIVELY POSITIVE sharing on quantum physics how science has proven that we as a nation can in fact change the world with our thoughts, a few bloggers who are on a transitional period in their lives quitting their jobs and doing something to change the world, and being surrounded by friends of mine who are BOLDLY going after changing the world in the political realm, have helped me to reach my own verdict.

MOTIVATEme. is more than just a dream to me. It’s a need for social change.

I invite you…I invite anyone you know to GET INVOLVED whether it’s in your town, or with us here in sunny San Diego.

We need you.

My main focus out of the division is to affect national change first within lowering the obesity rates. My second main focus is to make a universal change fixating on initiatives we as America can help our world. Remove the “country lines” and look at the world as a whole of PEOPLE. We have a responsibility…to be the change we wish to SEE IN THE WORLD.

I am so excited for this change…so excited to move forward.

Health is a lifestyle now in America…

If this is a cause you want to get in on, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE, I want to hear your thoughts and partner up to make this needed difference. Our team is growing and the excitement is killing me inside to get this launched and going full steam ahead!

Our first fundraising opportunity will be backed by Jamba Juice. More information to come…

Please email nevaehmariemorgan23@gmail.com with your name & contact info to be added in the circulation.

10 Ways to Happiness

 ” For every day there is sunshine there will be days of rain. It’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.”

This morning on our life coaching mentorship call, we discussed ways to pick ourselves up, and how to help motivate clients in this regard. To be honest, I have made it a testament and a personal goal to continuously fine tune my top 10 ways to happiness. It’s not only worked for myself, but for my clients as well…so I thought I’d share, and of course in no particular order!

1. Practice Compassion

Every one of us is in need of compassion. Sometimes when I have a bad day (yes they happen), something as simple as a hug cures me. That’s my idea of compassion. Other people respond to being listened to, and being UNDERSTOOD & HEARD. You’ll find that this mode of helping someone else, not only takes away from whatever it is you are feeling crappy about, but also helps you feel less alone which feeling crappy has a tendency to make us feel….even more crappy! So get yourself to call someone, text someone, email, and just say…”I’m here for you…I’m not sure if you know that but I am!” The response you’ll get will be more than you could have imagined.

What this does for you: It acts as a way to feel grateful for your current circumstances, allows you to feel not alone and involving yourself in someones life to HELP them, will only give you back exactly what you need…compassion.

2. Find YOUR Passion

Most of the time we’ve grown up with households whose parents have distinguished WHAT we will be passionate for until we are older and figure it’s OUR own desires that lead that. Fortunately, this is a stream that is slowly moving towards self involvement. Find something YOU love to do, and YOUR life will become immensely improved.

What this does for you: Finding YOUR passion will allow you to gain ownership for your life instantly. Half the reason we feel crappy instead of happy is a downward shift in our decisions. If you look at your life you could correlate that your mood could be a result of a recent decision, or not being in line with doing more of what YOU love.

3. Exercise- DAILY!

I’m such a bad example for this, but I have been working vigorously at making this a habit in my life. I actually just started to surround myself with people I can walk with on my lunch break, taking our dog on a walk, going on hikes, etc. I HATE just running on a treadmill, and I do not do well with some boot camp instructor yelling at me to get my ass up. I have found that doing something active for at least 30 minutes a day, helps me feel rejuvenated and HAPPY!

What this does for you: endorphins make you happy. Not to mention, looking good = feeling good.

4. Eat Healthy – DAILY!

I used to eat fast food daily. I don’t know how I didn’t gain about 100 extra pounds, but I constantly felt tired and weighed down. Now, I eat healthy daily and when I don’t I can definitely see a difference in my mood and my appearance. Start searching healthy recipes and begin creating your own creations. Most of my meals are semi-homemade and mostly pastas and soups for dinner, and tuna and yummy hearty sandwiches and salads for lunch.

What this does for you: Energizes you which = happiness

5. Meditate

Okay I may be a mentor and a life coach but I certainly am not a meditative expert. Most of my clients are high stress, worrying over finances and if their company is closing (unfortunately this is the reality of business in todays age). I practice breathing exercises with them as a form of “meditation”. It helps….there are tons of online resources, or you could start by taking just 5 minutes out of your day to sit in your office with (my preference SPA RADIO on Pandora) and zone out. I imagine myself in the wilderness surrounded by lush green trees, the sound of a lake nearby, and birds chirping with the sun shining down on me.

What this does for you: Relaxes your brain so you can begin to feel rational in your decisions and in your emotions.

6. Finance

The F word everyone hates. In all seriousness, as much as I hate looking at my finances (aka medical bills), at the end of pulling teeth it feels better knowing where my funds are at. I use a basic excel spreadsheet, and sometimes writing it out in my journal that I keep in my purse helps me too. As a small tip if you are a shopaholic like I tend to be, take out cash from your account and allow that to be your “allowance” for the week. When I started doing this, I was AMAZED at how much little crap I was spending. Everytime I went to fill up my tank I would buy bubble gum or an iced coffee, at the end of the month my total was $140.00 extra in little shit. Seriously…look closely…the $2-$5 bucks you spend add up.

What this does for you: Financial issues is one of the LEADING causes of stress in America. Why do you think we have so many shows and books on managing finances? However, once you take the time (20 minutes) to dedicate to learning about your financial situation, you’ll feel more confident and less stressed…which equates to more freed moments to happiness.

7. Emotional Balance

Even though this is the field of work I am in, doesn’t mean I still have to remind myself just HOW to be emotionally balanced too. Typically every month I get thrown off my rocker. My boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I’m easily shifted back into asking myself if I am being irrational and “emotional”. Here’s the thing…EVERYONE gets bent out of shape from time to time. It’s called life. However, when we are emotionally imbalanced, we leave more room for all the pain bodies to attack us. Think of ourselves as a cup that constantly needs to be filled with water, and that oil represents the pain and emotional crap we feel. They don’t mesh well..in fact oil will just sit on top of water making you feel bogged down leaving absolutely no room for happiness. Some of us keep filling our cups with oil, and eventually that oil oozes out into other areas of our life affecting anyone who comes in contact with us. It’s IMPORTANT to check yourself.

What this does for you: Allows you to take a moment to self reflect on WHERE you are at. WHY you are feeling the way you do. All 10 steps are designed to interconnect with one another that will help alleviate stress and anxiety to fill your cup with only water.

#8. Simplify your Life

I am a type of person to act before I think. That means at the end of my work week I probably have diverted away from my projects and added new projects because I go where the action is. This is something I am trying to correct. We all have something we are working on. Though this is viewed as something positive to always have things on your plate, when you begin to spread yourself too thin, you create stress.

What this does for you: By subtracting some out of your life means that you’ve established priority. It doesn’t mean you won’t work on it again, it’s all about timing. What is present is most important.

#9. Gratitude

Every month I send out gratitude letters to previous clients, friends, family and acquaintances. When was the last time someone told you how awesome you are, thanked you for something you did or just thanked you for being in their life? We spend more time self involved…than we do involved in others’ lives. Perhaps being a mentor has taught me the importance of a simple question of “how are you?” could lead to an inspiring action. Give thanks…and thanks will be returned back to you.

What this does for you: Fills you up! When you are grateful…the world responds to your gratitude. If your life doesn’t light up by this…then your heart is overly invested in yourself. Remember, balance is key.

#10. Add in Fun

No brainer I know…but here’s the kicker…some of us have way too much fun and that also causes issues with happiness. When you are 70% fun and 30% productive, you begin to feel when you least expect it (most of the time it’s when you are alone), the inadequacy and instability. If you don’t feel this, you are in a delusional state and should contemplate where you’re real passions lie. I’m talking about those of you in our society that tend to party as if it’s your f%^&*ng job. Sorry…but you aren’t an MTV tycoon or a celebrity.

I have a list of things I write out every three months of things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make ME happy. I have a 1. Something outdoors, 2. Something random and 3. Something I fear. Adding in fun is trying new things…that immediately brings you joy.

What this does for you: This is the best way to grow and affect inspiration inside of you. There are thousands of things to do, I guarantee you haven’t even thought outside the box. My something news lately are: Surfing, a random road trip out to Arizona for literally 1 night, roaming naked under the stars in absolutely BFE and making new friends within groups I rarely would ever consider approaching.

Here’s a challenge…get rid of the oil…and add in more water. Oil and water aren’t meant to mix…Incubus got it right. So admit it, and fix it. Only YOU have the power to cultivate and motivate change.

What do you believe in?

If you’re human, you have something you strongly believe in. Something that moves you. Something that moves your soul. Something that gets you to stand up and want to take charge.

If someone were to ask you, what is your belief, how would you answer?

This morning on my Thursday Coaching Conference call, my coach decided to single me out and challenge me with this question, “Nevaeh, what do you believe in?”. To be honest, I froze thinking, “Is this a spiritual answer?” My angle is always to respond with intellect, but being in the line of work I am in, I have to first respond with my heart.

I said, “I believe in human equality.”

My coach went on, “In what regard?”

I responded, “In all regards. How can I not want that for humanity? Our world in America is defined by laws, restrictions, and conditions that leave hope to be equated to hopelessness. I want to put a stop to it. It is unfair to watch people for example, who have had drug issues due to their upbringing, location, what they are exposed to, to be constantly judged for what they do not know how to overcome. Remember Bryant? Remember how I fought for him? This was recent! How terrible is it to feel judged? How terrible is it to feel conditioned because a judge or a law official tells you that you cannot become anything more than a drug addict because “this is what you live in, this is what you were born into”. This is the SOCIETY we live in today. This is the TRUTH of our SOCIETY. This is the government we support everyday. It angers me, it brings me pain to think of it. I am glad that I was able to help 1 kid, 1 teen to move into a school system and work on his GED with supervision and assistance to EDUCATE about drugs, about the reasons why it is “wrong” and more importantly, how to correct his behavior by showing him how life CAN be for him. By giving him the choice to choose for himself.” 

My coach responded, “You provided hope.”

I responded, “No, I provided him a choice for his life. That’s all I wanted to do.”

My coach responded, “This is your life’s purpose.”

For the last almost 10 years of my sobriety, I have meditated on questioning my existence. I should have been dead. I have my book on drug addition called “Doctor Me” coming out in Spring of 2013 and it’s been a delight and hardship to work on it. Tough only because I am reliving moments of my past that I wish I could just put to rest, but I am excited to share the ways that I helped “Doctor” myself and how I used counseling, family, friends, and an openness to overcome my demons to help myself, now in turn to help others. I didn’t realize that I was onto something until I met Bryant about 6 months ago. I’m not one to sit on an idea. I’m not one to sit and wait for someone to make the first move. When I met Bryant, he was clearly lost. All he had to say to me was, “I want help. What do I do now?” I took the wheel for him, and showed him how to steer for himself.

I was challenged. Opposed. I never had a mother get in my face the way his did to me. I argued. I battled. I’ll eventually share his full story one day, but it posed a huge question in my mind this morning on this call…what do we believe in? How are we making changes and progressing in those beliefs?

I’m a Type A personality, and I get that most of the coaches I work with are too, but as we all look around this world as social entrepreneurs we see issues. We see holes. “Stop believing in authority, and start believing in each other” is something that we should ALL as a society be focusing on. Asking ourselves, why are we still giving authority power and control? Look at your world! Look at your society. Are you proud? Do you believe in it? You live in this society, it is yours. Take ownership. Are you hurting it or saving it? Do you feel like YOU are too small to make any kind of change? I know I did…for a while…but one kid…one child changed my world. His NEED for change, touched me. His NEED for guidance motivated me. What will move you?

I instantly felt like a complete idiot the moment I took on Bryant. I felt like an idiot because for years I just sat still. For years I didn’t move, didn’t seek. For years I only TALKED about helping. For years I only DREAMED about a refuge center for kids. When will YOU take a stand for something YOU believe in?

My conversation with the coaches lasted an extra 45 minutes longer than expected. A well spent 45 minutes longer. ” Ms. Morgan, how can I assist you in the change movement?” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate a shelter offering in a 3rd world country.” “Ms. Morgan, I can help donate my time, free of charge for 3 students.”

Speak up. Talk, share YOUR passions. People will be moved when they see your passion. They will believe in your passion too. It becomes infectous when it comes from an honest heart.

What will you do today that will make a difference for tomorrow?

Where are you going?

ImageThis last week has been a challenging week for me…multiple reasons. I have been on a mission to find out what to do with my time, my businesses, my coaching, my spare time, and the list goes on. Fortunately I have been blessed to have too much on my plate than very little on my plate, however it gets daunting when I don’t know which one to pour my energy into.

I spent time in my Nevaeh Office brain to decipher which goals are appropriate to go after. I have been asked several times to share details on how to come up with a solid approach to identify goals to pursue and which ones not to. There really is not “real” answer to this. Each one of us works on goals and taking initiative to complete them differently. You MUST have the desire to motivate yourself continuously because no one else will do that for you. Sometimes life-coaches like myself, are wonderful for adding value to your motivation, but you can only draw a horse to water…the rest is up to you.

This quote has always struck a chord in me to have my fire lit again. I would rather at the end of my life look back and see that I took more chances on things I wanted to do, vs spending time thinking about those chances and wishing I actually did them and reviewing how I might have felt, or where my life would have went had I done so.

I may have mentioned before that I assist at a senior home monthly. On the 4th of July, I baked some cookies and stopped by. It’s honestly been months since I’ve been there, but I was immediately touched to see faces that remembered me. One gentlemen who I read to caught up with me. I watched him and smiled as he was delighted to actually have a snicker-doodle cookie, he sat back in his wheelchair, propped his right elbow on the armrest and fed himself his cookie. A nurse stood by to help, but I nodded at her to give Mr. Moses a chance to trust in his abilities. He said, “you can go now, I want to just talk to my angel” to the nurse. I swear my name is a derivative to anything “heaven” based because of my name, I really am not as much of an angel as some like to nickname me, but I am often flattered by it. It makes my heart smile.

Mr. Moses finished his cookie, smiled and thanked me for thinking of everyone on a National Holiday that normally would call people my age to drink and party, instead I was there with him reading. Moments like that, make me remember that THIS is what life is about. I responded, “The 4th is too busy for that, I have the weekend to be freely out of control”. Mr. Moses’ laughed, his laugh roars throughout the entire home infectiously making the others laugh, including myself. He held my hand and told me he felt like he needed to tell me something…I have been seeing Mr. Moses for a while, someone who has attributed to my personal growth. We spend the majority of our visits reading and discussing life lessons.

“Angel….tell me…are you happy with your life, where it’s at, where it’s going?”

“Yes…you know me, I am always revising my life to make sure I am moving ahead and not backwards.”

“Angel….don’t spend too much time in your mind, you have a beautiful mind, but your heart….that heart is hidden lately. I can tell.”

At this point, I never felt anyone aside from my boyfriend look INSIDE me and genuinely give me something to work on. I always appreciate this.

“You are right. I actually have felt that blockage…perhaps it’s the recent events I told you about that closed me off.”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “Remember when I told you to question yourself and your goals…would you rather be a woman who is strong using her mind and her intellect to affect change, to create an empire, or would you rather be a woman who is so strong in her love for herself, her life, her world, her friends, her family, to create a passion…that same passion I saw months ago when you first walked into here. Where is that light?”

I started to smile, gleaming from ear to ear at him…and then I began to cry…he held me in the best embrace he could provide me in his old age stature, for 10 minutes as I just dumped what was going on to him.

“I’m scared of not being successful….having to close 3 companies because it isn’t my direction anymore scares me because I felt like I wasted my time. It honestly feels like I can’t give energy to anything new because I am mourning over it.”

He laughed again at me, and sat me upright, “Darlin’ you are the most tenacious woman I have seen since the 50’s! You have accomplished so much, that you need to celebrate your accomplishments. All accomplishments end, they are goals you complete and your personality is one that breeds new territory on a regular basis. Be happy you are of a few who can cultivate that, and share that wisdom with others so we have a world of dream cultivators! You of all people should never second guess yourself, you of all people should be second guessing why you aren’t pursuing everything YOU desire.”

“How do I do that?”

“You start with what your heart is telling you….then you write it down, and you work on a plan using that mind of yours to create that goal to come to fruition. And then you do it. And then you enjoy it. Always give gratitude back to yourself for a hard work done. Start with the heart, use your brain to fuel your hearts desire, and move through your goals with the passion that your heart provides. That is the secret to success.”

I was in full-blown tears at this point because his words were resounding truth in my ears. He was right…I have spent more time in my mind lately than spending more time in my heart and too afraid to let my heart shine or have others feel the warmth I have.

The same goes with our goals….sometimes we are too much in our “heads” our “minds” where it feels as if we’ve lived out the goal…but really we are remaining in a dreamlike state never moving forward. Don’t be afraid to have countless “oh wells” for they are the lessons learned, the added wisdom, and not wasted time….and we are the dream cultivators. We are the goal warriors. We have EVERYTHING provided to us that will create success, the only thing stopping us is us.

So…I ask myself, “Where am I going?” My answer….”Everywhere I WANT to go”

Dedicated to the influential & loving “Mr. Moses” aka Valentine.

Rest in Peace: 2/13/1921-7/8/2012 “Mr. Moses”

Your opinion of the World…IS a confession of character…

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning on my conference call with my fellow motivational speakers, I was in awe of the quote that was rambled off this morning. I LOVE Emerson, so it wasn’t a big surprise that my ears and heart perked up over the conversation. However, I was surprised to hear the punch line…”is also a confession of character”.

For a while, if some of you have known me for years or have watched my growth path, you’ll understand where and also why I have come to a certain thought process on society. No No I don’t “hate” society, but I do think that in some aspects, our society has grown lazy in thought, and lazy in strength. That is why there are motivational speakers, life coaches, relationship experts that are employed by either their own practice or books. However, the coach who teaches us was right in adding to Emerson’s quote…we DO have a duty, each and every one of us, to AFFECT change, to then alter our thought process of what the world is; no matter how frusterating or ugly it can be.

I place a whole lot of responsibility on myself for self growth. I view self growth in 3 ways,

1. Physically – Am I taking care of MY body, MY temple. I try and participate in my love for rock climbing and ballet as I have for the last 8 years of my life, and incorporating beautiful scenery with my physical activity, since that is important to me. I try to hike, camp, partake in beach activities as much as I can.

2. Emotionally- Am I emotionally balanced, and if not what will I do to balance myself? I meditate or paint usually to stop the static in my mind. I appreciate beautiful art accompanied by music, and doing this alone will also help bring about any emotions that are festering deep inside of you.

If you ever find yourself crying out of nowhere, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed try sitting alone (hell even in your car) by the beach during sunset, or a nice quite park, and feel the love for yourself. When you cry alone or feel emotionally overwhelmed, it is a sign that you are self neglecting and you need to revisit why, and make the appropriate changes so you put yourself first again. Remember: You cannot make others happy without making YOU happy first.

3. Taking on something new- One of the best and quick ways to learn about yourself. Self discovery is not only fun but brings about questions and new ideas of growth for yourself. I sometimes even just take a different route to work, have lunch with someone new at a new place, or one of my favorites is vintage shopping alone…I get to search through new territory and discover new pieces. It thrills me!

However, since this conversation this morning each one of us decided to add to each of our own checklists.

How can we change our opinion on the world to an effective positive way to affect change in our character if this is a direct correlation?

Challenging I know…we all debated for about 45 minutes before someone blurted out the most obvious answer. This to me reminds me of a piece of advice I gave to a client:

“When all else fails, when you doubt and have no direction….just love.”

I love the World. I love the World. I love the World.

I appreciate what the World provides me, I want to sustain what the World offers in its natural beauty.

It was as if a mantra was occurring through my ears, and my eyes began to transform in thought of HOW I was viewing the very World I live in

I have been begging the Universe for a challenge…this morning I was granted my wish….

What will YOU do to affect change on your opinion of the World so your character shines ever so brightly in positivity?

“Drink more water!”

I recently have been diagnosed with Cluster Headaches…and if you’ve been following my posts or are a friend of mine you have been in the know of the frustrating last few weeks I’ve had trying to deal with this. Yesterday, I had a breakthrough…after being hospitalized in the ER, gone through 4 different doctors who all had no clue what I was dealing with, and finally out to a referral that specialized in my condition I was granted an answer.

Sitting there in the patient room for a whopping 45 minutes waiting on test results on what the hell was going on with these “suicide headaches” (yes they are nicknamed that!), I was actually praying to God for the first time in years to just give me an answer. I was fidgeting, playing with the instruments in my room as my doctor came in. He looked like he was 90 years old, and my heart just immediately dropped. If you think doctors that are old are not that great at providing you with some great medical findings, think not! He was not only thorough but spoke to me like I was his own grandchild.

In the midst of our chatter about my 13 hour headaches, and pain management discussion. He said in a shout, “Drink more water!”

I was so confused! That is my answer? Percacet, Imititrex and to drink more water? WTF!

He came about eye to eye with me, hunch back and all and said, “Did you know if your body is lacking water, that will bring on headaches…sometimes even stress, and often times rob you from your very spunky energetic personality” I gasped! “MY energy is being robbed because of lack of water?!”

I couldn’t even comprehend something so simple could fix such a “headache” in my life. I have lost my energy, thinking it was due to my headaches or maybe even overworking myself…but never did I even consider it was water.

After leaving the doctors, I talked to my boyfriend about it, who of course is the picture of health and rattled onto me how much water benefits him. I couldn’t contain myself from rolling my eyes. I then got a call from one of the motivational life coaches I work with, and filled her in on the details. She too ranted on and on about the effects water has on your system.

How could all these years I was left in the dark for some basic necessity I need?

This got me thinking about how many others with a similar condition didn’t know about water’s magical affects, and then…I started thinking how I will apply this to my life.

Water is a basic necessity in life right? Wouldn’t you agree that having a positive attitude is too?

Being positive, and having that energy though basic, is a NEED in my life. I equated that with water. I was missing the positivity in my life for many years, I was yes one of the “nay sayers” and the “negative nancy’s” of our world…until I came across a fundamental truth…just like I did with water.

It seemed as though everyone I came in contact during that time, knew that being positive was the OBVIOUS answer to life…but me.

So, yesterday…all I did was drink water.

I drank water EVERY single time a negative thought would pop into my head as a reminder to change my thought process. Yes, even with a positive mind you still do get doubt, and negative thoughts…being positive is a constant training of our minds. It’s a necessary duty for what our minds are exposed to in this world, to protect our positivity. It is so important to recognize that, so we don’t rob ourselves from the energy we should have.

Yesterday, I lost count after 47, and I had to pee every 5 seconds…but it was worth it.

Not only did my body feel instantly better, but my mind did too.

This morning, I woke up thinking about how happy I am…what I am grateful for…and to be honest, sometimes I have wavered from positive training and introspection just because life does get busy. Now…each time I drink water…I am working on transformative thought…and cultivating new ideas & affirmations again. My almost 3 week death, has finally gotten me revived and alive

My headaches are still there…but it lasted 30 minutes vs. 13 hours…

Just as so, negative thoughts will still be there…but at least they diminish when you take notice…

The doctor was right…just what I needed as a prescription…is to drink more water.

Try this test…see how many times YOU think negatively or have self doubt…